MUSD: 1; NsFH: -59

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New Sierra High practice field gate on Fishback Street

I am impressed! Thank you, Nancy Teicheira and MUSD staff!

Beginning around 8:00 this morning, personnel from the Manteca Unified School District actually followed through on one of my suggestions for relieving traffic pressure, blood pressure, and bladder and bowel pressure - all at the same time. Noted on the picture above is Fishback Street's new gate onto the practice field.

The offending after-school Pop Warner Football and Cheer drivers can now drop off and pick up their precious Johnnies and Suzies without stoppering up my driveway. Those who stay all night - the block party parasites - their offensive communal collection of bodily effluents can also be moved farther away from its original placement on my driveway; better their spawn play downwind of it, than I suffer it.

It's Been One Hour...!

I didn’t go before we left
Anticipating plastic cleft
And deep, dark hole with noxious fumes
Enough to fill a house of rooms
With pleading voice, “Oh, coach, may I…?
It’s been one hour- I’ll nearly die!”

Who moved that pot whereon I sat
And listened as my shit went, Splat?
Where tinkle drizzled down my leg?
(Same stuff as from my Daddy’s keg?)
So hot and smelly but, Oh my,
It’s been one hour- I’ll nearly die!

They say it kills -or makes you strong!
(All Chargers know they could be wrong)
I run, I jump with all my powers
I dance, and chant, all evening hours
So full of piss I almost cry
“It’s been one hour- I’ll nearly die!”


(iambic tetrameter) .

Pop Warner Shit Shack

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Manteca Unified School District

Attn: Nancy Teicheira

2271 West Louise Avenue

Manteca, CA 95337

August 2, 2012

Dear Mrs. Teicheira,

Greetings, as we meet again over an issue of paramount importance to me.

At a school board meeting last year, I met with you and MUSD staff regarding a portable toilet which on July 22, 2011, had been delivered and attached to the chain link fence bordering my driveway- in effect, ON MY DRIVEWAY! From that placement, in line with the prevailing NW winds of Manteca, its pungent plume blew continuously through my house at 786 Fishback Street.

That odorous object has appeared again this same week in 2012, in the same objectionable spot. This is the final straw that breaks this camel’s back for the second year running.

[pic, above]

For many years prior, never before seen, the offending structure appeared last year for the first time. The immediate effect was physically nauseating. I believe the outhouse was(is) rented from A & A Portables by the Pop Warner League, who, in turn, rents the practice field bordering my property from the Manteca Unified School District for six months out of every year. Last year’s expediency was to remove the shit shack approximately 100 feet northward along the MUSD’s Fishback Street fence line.

Apparently, your insensate renter’s lazy vendor could not be bothered to repeat last year’s plan this year.

Two other, more permanent, solutions include:

1. Opening up the restrooms behind Teicheira Stadium as part of the rental agreement. Those facilities have the design, functionality, and enclosure to handle the massive amounts of sewer effluent generated by Johnnie, Suzie, Mommy, Poppie, and all the other Pop Warner groupies who camp out in front of my house for four hours every night for six months every year.

2. Remove the gate from its present location next to my driveway, northward to about where the other eyesore structure is located on your practice field, or around the corner on Thomas Street.
.          a. This action has a precedent set when the other MUSD gate a few yards southward on Fishback Street was welded shut and the gates on Wawona Street were prescribed for use by Pop Warner aficionados.
.          b. This solution has the added advantage of dissipating the traffic congestion in front of my driveway, including the illegal parking and driveway blocking by self-absorbed “helicopter” parents.

Mrs. Teicheira, please see to it: A) that this nuisance is dealt with immediately, and B) that a long term solution is arrived at. I do not desire to ask you to this dance again next year.


Sincerely,

___________________________
Richard Behling,
A nauseated Manteca property owner

Copies to:

Pop Warner/Manteca Chargers
821 West Yosemite Ave
Manteca, Ca 95337

A & A Portables
201 Roscoe Road
Modesto, CA 95357

Manteca Bulletin
531 E. Yosemite Avenue
Manteca, CA 95336

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[ed. note: shit shack moved northward 100 feet on Wednesday, 8 Aug 2012.]
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The New Manteca Cow-Tipping

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Pic from Michael Bluejay's web page on Burning Man porta-potty etiquette

Two-Holey Latrines, Batman! Those Pop Warner parents and kids must eat some really weird shit! (Sorry... it's shit when it comes out their asses, not when it goes in their pie-holes.) I wonder if any of them actually got their feces *inside* the holding tank because the new A&A Shit Shack smells like an open pit latrine instead of a porta-potty. The stench is overpowering. I imagine the inside looking like this:

After the Manteca Unified School District meeting last night, I was told that the problem was resolved and the Crap Shack was moved. I looked the gent in the eye and told him the offending outhouse was still in place and stenching up the whole neighborhood - that is, they moved the wrong one! (If one was moved at all...)

Yup, the new one on Fishback is still *undeniably* in place on my driveway and a drive down the Wawona Street block this morning showed those three plastic turd buckets still in place. Somebody at MUSD or at A&A Shit Shacks has his/her head up his/her ass. (They must love the smell, or they're writing reflective haikus for decorating Burning Man porta-potties.)

The man had - shall we say, crappy? - intelligence from the field. It's a good thing a map was drawn for him for his use in a redux.

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Burning Man Tips: Help for the Porta-Potty Shy

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Afternoon update:
The outhouse has been moved, but still upwind. Thirteen sections of fence, about 8 feet each, the shit can is now about 100 feet away.

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Political Shit

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Uh... Uhh... I gotta go Number 1 !

This morning, an A&A Crap Shacks truck was blocking my driveway (using it as a loading/unloading zone) while delivering the newest addition to the sights and smells of Manteca. The driver only shrugged and claimed to be a simple delivery man, simply following orders, when I asked if it could be installed away from my driveway.

Whose orders? Manteca Unified School District? or their renters, Pop Warner Football and Cheer (Manteca Chargers)?

Who woulda thought taking a dump was such a political matter?

For many years, Pop Warner Football and Cheer has been renting the practice field at Sierra High. For all those years, the rental contracts must not have allowed use of school bathrooms. (Oh my, oh my, I've got a bladder disability! I demand the right to pee!) Suddenly, last year the whiners got MUSD to install Port-A-Potties at every school gate on the Wawona Street practice fields. Now every recreational walker who circles the block gets three foul snootfuls each time they walk that leg.

This year - in fact, this very morning - the locust plague browbeat MUSD into putting a shit can at one of the two Fishback gates.

Wouldn't you know it? The gate right next to my driveway! This is the straw that broke this camel's back!

For four seasons I have put up with the block party hordes blocking my driveway, both to drop off and pick precious Johnny or sweet little Susie. Those who stay the entire 3-4 hours every weeknight for six months bust out the beach chairs and coolers and swill away. Instead of setting the example for Johnny and Susie by going potty before they leave home (somewhere right here in Manteca, no doubt), they bitch and moan about not having a pot to pee in while "helicoptering" around their cute little athletic star.

So here it is, in a view from my porch.

Ah... Uhh... now I gotta go Number 2 !

This A&A Crap Shack happens to be directly in the path of the prevailing NW winds (which any pilot, cyclist, or homeless person knows about, but not school facilities people?), so my house, which uses actual windows and doors for ventilation, will now be laden, day and night, with airborne molecules of potty chemicals and ripening human waste.

(As a matter of note, in the background of pic Number 1 is the Daniel Teicheira Memorial Stadium at Sierra High School, home of the Timberwolves.)

Nancy Teicheira happens to have been reelected as a school board trustee in 2010, and it is she who received my first telephone call regarding this obscenity. After consulting with the the MUSD Superintendent, Jason Messer, there were promises to move the shit can and to review the possibilty of relocating the gate away from my driveway. The callbacks next week will be encouraging, I hope. (After all, it was MUSD that got Manteca's police off their asses when my other neighbors were growing marijuana openly next to Sierra High.)

Precedent for not using this gate, with its attendant congestion and plastic outhouses, comes from MUSD actions on the southern side of the Fishback/Mason property two doors southward. That gate, which did not even generate the same level of traffic congestion, was welded shut a couple years ago. I wonder what level of complaint was made to have that effect?

Pop Warner Footballers - mentioned in my very first post and again a little later.

- more later -

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