The Return of Cork-Screwed's Old Trailer

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The return of "Cork-Screwed’s old trailer,"
last seen being hauled away on Saturday, May 21st, at 5:46 p.m.

Yes, indeed-ee,

[55]
They came back, the old haunts, looking gray, looking gaunt,
With their hangers-on, tough red-necks all,
For Cork-Screwed’s old trailer, that neighborhood failure,
To set up for the next small town’s fall.

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But, like dogs returning to their vomit... like belching, bloating, gut-wrenching, diarrhea-producing indigestion from one of Rotund Red's TLC Catering truck burritos... the Wilderness Advantage travel trailer is back. Because the last reputed owner was the third-wheel Barefoot Dirty Girl, Cork-Screwed (aka, Cornelia Jane "Corky" Green), its return to storage on this property is another proof of Lyin' Lynda's sham property trade to evade consequences of her/their illegal occupations.

Despite Cork-Screwed's monstrosity being unlicensed for at least four-and-a-half years (2007 through May 21, 2011), someone managed to cough up enough bucks to finally make it road legal in June of this year. (Maybe Bubba bought it? Lotsa drug money floating around...)

Rather than being parked to showcase the BDG's extensive collection of leftover trailer trash inoperable vehicles littering the property, it is parked to hide a broken down vending truck and an inoperable Mobile Food Preparation Unit (MFPU, or, roach coach) from the at-last-defunct, illegal TLC Catering operations.

How is one supposed to make out the FOR SALE signs in the windows of the trashed trucks?

Here's how the boneyard looked last Easter '11 - vehicles are just rearranged.

More importantly, does this free dumping ground continued storage for live and dead vehicles mean that Cork-Screwed, Resectioned Red, and Lyin' Lynda are close enough to Manteca to continually make reappearances at their Sierra High (c) Marijuana Cooperative Farm at 810 Fishback Street?

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(Bubba must be so proud to be so used...)

...
Oh, where were the boys
To use as my toys?
...

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If You Got It, Flaunt It! (aka: Show Us Your Junk!)

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Things started happenin' early this morning. About 08:15 hrs, an intensive conversation took place out on the driveway next door and, next thing you know, one of the unearthed rodent condominia treasures of accumulated debris inoperative vehicles appeared on the BDGs' newly-mowed front lawn.

Ta-Da!

Redneck
Trailer Trash
Yard Decor

at its finest!

That's likely the last mowing that particular patch of lawn will get for a long, long time. I wonder if there was a time limit put on this display of chutzpah?* The only thing missing from this historical relic - besides a few essential parts and a little TLC (or ALL of TLC!) - is the name "Louise" stenciled on the passenger door and... uh, can't see the driver door.

This is exciting. Code enforcement case #460464 (and its earlier case #455382) may actually be moving forward. Last Monday, September 13, I sent the following in:

Request type: Abandoned Vehicle
Description: Re: Request #455382, the two vehicles in question were pushed in front of a container/trailer. They are visible from the sidewalk without elevating any cameras - or eyeballs.

But... it's hard to tell if this movement was prompted or assisted by C.E. because Manteca city officials have thus far demonstrated total unwillingness, incompetence, or impotence in dealing with the BDGs and enforcing any of the city's so-called ordinances.

The on-display rust bucket is missing a For Sale sign. (Get several, Red or Green, one for the house and some for the half-dozen dogs. Remember, though, none for the marijuana! Yellow would get cranky crankier again.) My guess is the Barefoot Dirty Girls plan to tow this wreck behind one of the decrepit MFPU's (see catering trucks) up Interstate 5 to Gresham, Oregon, or thereabouts, loaded down with as much sentimental effluent** as can be managed - like the John Deere log splitter.

(Log splitter?!)

Yup! Who knew the BDGs' 1/2-acre Manteca property once had enough trees to justify a log splitter? (Funny picture: Mellow Yellow toking her way out of town riding a log splitter.) More likely, the compulsive klepto's have been collecting more junk again. The stuff just appears out of thin air!

{"Psst! Hey, amigo. The off-menu TLC Minnie Mouse Muffin Muncher comes with a garnish of MJ... and we split your logs, too."}

But the dogs cannabis and the unsold canines really oughta be in roadworthy vehicles. Just sayin'...

Vaya Con Los Perros***

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* chutzpa: (Yiddish) unbelievable gall; insolence; audacity

** effluent (n) sewage that has been treated in a septic tank or a sewage treatment plant

*** Go with (the) dogs

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Flea Market Under the Big Top

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Step right up! Step right up!

Have we got some great deals for you!

We, the apple-colored Barefoot Dirty Girls,

Red, Yellow and Green, are selling ourselves it all!

Come on down to 810 Fishback Street in Manteca, California!
Close out! We're selling it down to the bare lot!
(Gettin' the hell out of Manteca and movin' to Oregon!)

Just look for the For Sale signs on [almost] everything!

We've got vehicles galore!
Registered, unregistered,  shouldn't-be-legal, and inoperative!

Last-leg commercial equipment! Bally walk-in freezer (must take concrete pad too),
porch chest freezer, Kenmore upright freezer, Admiral refrigerator, Scotsman icemaker!

Tic-tac; Brick-a-brack; Give six dogs a bone!

Fixtures; Truck-sized cookware; Yard radio!

Junk items, all sorts; Really shitty stuff; Flotsam and Jetsam!

Experienced junk yard dogs; [Experienced?!] house dogs!

Klepto'd Amassed over years, sheltered forever!

We pass the stealings savings on to you!

Hurry, before it's all scrapped gone!

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(* Will trade for marijuana growing and processing apparatus *)

(Tokin' Takin' that to Oregon, too!)
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Scraping the Bottom

Got a second call from my attorney last night (Thursday.) It appears T, L or C called their freebie Farmers Insurance Company attorney (Why is Farmer's Insurance still hanging with these losers?) to tell him, Mark D. McCauley, Esq., about the criminal complaint I filed on them Wednesday night. Of course, because this commercial insurance attorney, and his employer, and their one giant client, have NO interest in defending criminal policyholders, he called my attorney to emphatically renew his commitment to speedily settle the civil suit, even if the defendants are pissed off about it. (Ohhh... I can see contempt of court charges already!) That's why my attorney called me.

Now that the two attorneys and I are singing from the same page of the hymnbook, all that remains is to beg  persuade  cajole  bribe  convince  tell  order  force  have the civil case defendants sign onto the Stipulated Judgment.

All of which precedes the fact that Lynda Allen is losing control. The most predictable thing about "control freaks" is that when they lose the ability to control the people around them, they freak out and revert to childish and asinine antics - or adult temper tantrums - in pathetic attempts to regain even "negative" control.

The previous post showed that despite the P.C. 415 citation she received hours before, she still turned on the yard radio yesterday morning...

... and again this morning. (Keep diggin', baby! Let's see how deep a hole you want to dig for yourself.) Banging around in the yard for an hour before, at 7:04 a.m. Lynda, still in her robe and slippers, shuffled from house to outbuilding and turned on the radio. On the way back to the house, however, she stepped in something - probably dog shit! - and tried scraping it off before going in. The incident prompted me to recall the "too many dogs" complaint and the chicken they allow loose on the property.

... and it reawakened a memory of something I read in their Health Department files almost two years ago. (Ahhh, yes... here it is.)

No wonder they were shoeless! Which is worse, a slap on the hands (or feet) for shoelessness, or losing your Health Department certificate (which shuts down your catering truck) because of whatever! on the bottom of your shoes?

The complaint, above, inspired a new name for the trio next door. Since they no longer operate TLC Catering, their new name is:

BAREFOOT DIRTY GIRLS!

Anybody wanna buy some catering trucks? See pictures of them at the end of this post.
(But remember to have them thoroughly cleaned [by professionals] before their first use.)

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The Division and Rationale of D.J. Duties

The same regimentation that existed during TLC Catering's reign of terror is still displayed every day in the disc jockey duties:

1. Supreme Generalissimo Allen commands the rights of primogeniture*, reserving to herself the sexual rush of noisily broadcasting her spoor into the morning air;
2. Leftenant Brassey, the good soldier she is, fills in on the days, like Tuesday, April 6th, when Supreme Generalissimo is physically absent (every day mentally absent) or stove up;
3. Grunt Greene falls into the tertiary position - and laggardly performs the sickening act of turning OFF the radio in the evening (wrong endocrine secretions in that job.)

I posted the below here:

"As punctual as an alarm clock going off at 7:00 a.m. every morning, Lynda pops out her door in robe and slippers and shuffles quickly over to the outbuilding to turn on the yard radio. Loud, but not too loud. On her way back, a glance over her right shoulder to ensure the speaker is pointed my direction. When it's not, she's barely tall enough to reach up high with both hands and reposition it according to her purpose. Then she retreats back indoors, leaving the Mega 100.1 FM (KQOD, Stockton) morning show blaring for my enjoyment."

Things go on exactly the same morning after morning (except Lynda was two minutes early, 6:58 a.m., the other day) - same robe, same slippers, shuffle, volume, over the shoulder glance at the speaker, same hasty retreat back indoors.

 

I work all day in an office with Muzak (c) service and expect residential quietness before and after work. (When I want music at home, I'll put on something I like.) My neighbors, however are delivering to me a disservice - Muzak (c) at home - except I didn't order it, don't want it, will not pay for it, but cannot turn it off, let alone change the channel or control the volume.

• T, L & C thought (with their limited brain cells) to use musical noise to mask the "squeaks and squeals of loud, frightening contraptions" - the icemaker, vendor delivery trucks, catering trucks, and the hour-long ice bucket brigade - except the radio just added to the din.

"Muzak was created in the 1930s by General George Squier, who developed the use of military messaging technology to carry music. This new technology was particularly useful for piping music into elevators, which at the time [1930's] were loud, frightening contraptions. The soothing music helped calm elevator riders' nerves and masked the squeaks and squeals of early elevators." 

• T, L & C continue to deviate from Muzak's approach by thinking (there's that word again!) to use musical noise as a strategy to provide obtrusive and overtly perceptible cues or suggestions. In this regard they are kindred spirits to the torturers in Guantanamo Bay. 

Muzak's approach:

"It was during this time [1970's] that background music known as "Muzak songs" - rerecorded versions of classical, pop, country, and rock songs, minus the vocals - were adopted as a strategy to provide unobtrusive subliminal cues to shoppers. As the demand for original music grew throughout the 1980s, Muzak shifted its focus to Audio Architecture, and a new way of reaching the hearts and minds of customers was born."

T, L & C's approach:

"The use of 'acoustic bombardment' has 'become standard practice on the battlefields of Iraq, and… has joined sensory deprivation and sexual humiliation as among the non-lethal means by which prisoners from Abu Ghraib to Guantanamo may be coerced to yield their secrets without violating US law' ” (“Music as Torture” by Suzanne G. Cusick, Transcultural Music Review Vol. 10, 2006).

• T, L & C were for twenty-three years self-defined by their illegal and now defunct business operation. They have nothing lawful to do on their property, except reside there, and nothing gainful or useful (or legal?) to do away from their property. They are now poster children for the sayings: 
• “In works of labour, or of skill,
• I would be busy too;
• For Satan finds some mischief still
• For idle hands to do.” (Issac Watts)

and

. “The only thing worse than idle hands is an idle mind.” (Anton Lavey)

and

.  "An idle brain is the devil's workshop." (Henry George Bohn)

• T, L & C have spurned every overture to join the adult human race, desiring only to throw verbal and musical tantrums, continue litigation, decline to make or accept offers of settlement, and refuse to remediate their outdoor radio nuisance. I again refer the reader to the best article I have ever read about noise, in the .pdf newsletter The Quiet Zone:

The Nature of Noise

 

   See if you can find Lynda, Theresa, and Corky in there...

 

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* primogeniture - Latin word meaning " first born". It refers to the common tradition of the first born child of the parents who, by this law, inherits the entire estate of the parents because he/she is the eldest of all the children. This law is no more in existence in most of the world's countries now, except in the Third World village of Manteca, California, and the estate at 810 Fishback Street.

Cleaning Up Some of TLC's Environmental Waste

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Just to make sure the general public in Tracy and Manteca are protected from the lawless bent of my neighbors, I sent this letter to my helpful contacts at the Health Department to give them a heads up.

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San Joaquin County, Environmental Health Department
Attn: Jeff Carruesco, Program Coordinator
600 E. Main Street
Stockton, CA 95202

March 18, 2010

Re: Superior Court Case # 3-2009-00212085-CU-OR-STK,
Behling v. Allen, Brassey, TLC Catering and Commissary


Dear Mr. Carruesco,

The enclosed picture shows that Lynda Allen and Theresa Brassey, owners and operators of TLC Catering, have elected to cease business operations on their residential property located at 810 Fishback Street in Manteca and not move their operation elsewhere. If they have already contacted you with that decision, please provide me and my attorney with copies of all correspondence between the parties and the health permit cancellations for TLC Catering's MFPU's and the private commissary.

If they have not yet contacted you, please flag their account and provide the documents requested above as they become available.
. . .

Your department's files were extremely helpful to me in reconstructing the scope and duration of Allen's and Brassey's illegal operation. I only wish your department had been more diligent to verify their lack of property rights for this operation twenty-three years ago. Nevertheless, I am pleased that 1) the current poor economic climate, 2) my lawsuit against them for their lack of land use permits and causing a noise nuisance, and 3) their lack of business insurance have all combined to present this single option to the owners of TLC Catering and Commissary.

Sincerely,

Falling Off the Predictability Wagon

Interesting days these days.

As punctual as an alarm clock going off at 7:00 a.m. every morning, Lynda pops out her door in robe and slippers and shuffles quickly over to the outbuilding to turn on the yard radio. Loud, but not too loud. On her way back, a glance over her right shoulder to ensure the speaker is pointed my direction. When it's not, she's barely tall enough to reach up high with both hands and reposition it according to her purpose. Then she retreats back indoors, leaving the Mega 100.1 FM (KQOD, Stockton) morning show blaring for my enjoyment.

When I leave for work, she turns it down. When I come home for lunch, she turns it up. When I return to work, she turns it down. When I come home, she turns it up. When I leave for City Council meeting, she turns it down. When they go to bed (about 9:00 p.m. now), she turns it off. Just another 14-hour day of Mega 100...

But today was different. In the glimmering dawn before 6:30, Lynda and Theresa (the current two defendants) took off in their big-ass black pickup truck and the yard radio did not come on at 7:00 a.m.!

Blessed, peaceful, quiet, pink dawn. Birds chirping. The distant freeway humming. The occasional clang or odd bang, blocks away, as people and their machinery start to move in normal life cycles. Cars drive by delivering students to the high school.

A restless malcontent until she imposes her selfish self on someone - anyone - I envision Lynda calling Corky on her cell phone and asking, "Did you remember to turn on the radio this morning?" (Lynda still thinks 7:00 a.m. is somehow legal, although that time is nowhere to be found in Manteca's ordinances.) Her question is actually an order because she is the Alpha fowl next door.

Poor Corky - the other potential defendant - the hen left to defend the henhouse against foxes. Damn! She hadn't set her alarm clock for 7:00. Hurriedly she skitters outside to crank up the boom box at 7:24. She doesn't have quite the finesse with the volume knob as the Alpha female. And she dares not turn the speaker away. Her sad regret is that it's not her car that goes off to work any more at 6:30. No, she's still parked (stuck) here at 8:00 most days.

Life has gotten really unpredictable since the economy took a dump, especially on TLC Catering's customers, and since their dirty little secret was discovered and exposed to the public both at the City of Manteca and now in the San Joaquin County Superior Court. Their friends told them to cry, "Foul! Times are tough." But that doesn't save them from their own risky decisions decades ago - the hard facts of their illegal use. They cry, "Times are tough. We can't afford the expense of moving our business elsewhere." With no work, they run around like chickens with their heads cut off. {shrug} Bright business people at least try to follow the law... and they get business insurance, not merely homeowners insurance.

Lynda's and Theresa's lack of business acumen pared their options to one:

(BTW: This prints up great as an 8x10 suitable for framing. It looks beautiful in my office.)

Signs of Spring, or, Pushing up Daisies

Recent events:

Ice machine servicing and discontinuance of use

Since mid-January, the icemaker has not emitted a peep (unlike its owners.) The machine was opened up for servicing or repair and remains disassembled to this day. A little oddity appeared on the machine's electronic controller unit - the date 02-03-10 - stenciled in what looks like gold metallic fingernail polish.

One possibility is that the machine has been rehabilitated for use in 2010.

> > >  Or, is it being made ready for sale?  < < <

This could be the first acknowledgment that this nonconforming nonresidential use does not belong on the property.

Substitution of Attorney

My attorney informed me that Defendants Allen and Brassey filed a Substitution of Attorney with the court on February 9, 2010. That generally signals a change in direction on the case.

My interpretation is that it moves the Defendants off their stubbornly non-responsive position, ie., any change is good.

Catering takes a powder

February 15th was a banner day. That was the first day, two and one-half weeks ago, that the catering truck no longer leave the property for the Defendants' normal retail sales route (which route the Defendants refused to divulge in discovery.) This is the second acknowledgment that this nonconforming nonresidential use does not belong on the property.

MFPU For Sale

Circle Tuesday, March 2, 2010 on the calendar for a true sign of Spring! After two weeks of chain-smoking, ass-sitting, continuous-radio-music-accompanied inactivity by the Defendants, a For Sale sign appeared in the windshield of the one operational Mobile Food Preparation Unit (MFPU).

Please forgive me for being skeptical or cycnical, but the other MFPU (on the right) was decommissioned in 2006 and used to have a For Sale sign in its window. Of course, the sign was sun-faded to illegibility, slumped down on the dashboard to obscurity, and so far from the road and behind a fence that a telescope was needed to read the illegible and obscured sign. Mere window dressing! Two years ago, Manteca Code Enforcement officers parroted the Defendants' claim the MFPU was on their property only while being held for sale (you know, blow off those stupid inspectors.)

Analysis

Taken together, this progression of signs seems to indicate that TLC Catering will soon be pushing up daisies. Theories abound as to the Defendants avoiding money judgments by engaging in legal or illegal maneuvers involving sympathic juries, bankruptcies, property transfers, or whatever. By now these scofflaws should understand that their relentless violations of law and decency have solidified my relentless pursuit of remedy. As they will see soon, my view of equitable resolution is not compromise, but compliance - full and total compliance with law and decency.

Given their track record, though, who knows if they are capable?...

I have often been accused of trying "to put them [my neighbors] out of business," but that is not true. My very first correspondence with the City of Manteca indicated my intentions to get them to MOVE their business operations elsewhere. If they close down their business, that choice is entirely their own.

However, I will admit the following sentiments:

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." Mark Twain
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The Un-Dead Rise Once More

Peace succumbed once more. She was only nine days old.

born: Monday, October 12, 2009 (Columbus Day)
died violently: Wednesday, October 21, 2009





On Wednesday afternoon, the peace murderer, Bill Crystal of AAA Emergency Refrigeration (209) 988-2773, retrieved the dead Scotsman from Hell and breathed a new half-life into its brainless shell. The resuscitated god-machine found its mechanical voice, roaring to the world all evening and all night long, while the three harpies played loud music and performed their dancing incantations around it. The Devil's scene from the Burns' poem, Tam O'Shanter, below, comes to mind.



Peace vanished, exterminated by the Bacchanalian orgy.

At 12:30 a.m., one devout worshipper, with her charms and prancing presence, stimulated the metal monster to engorged capacity - to the brink of overflowing. A brief expectant pause ensued, with its storage organ fully distended, until...

Beginning at 3:00 a.m., another consort worshipfully bowed and scraped before the reverberating Giver of Ice, manipulating it twelve times within as many minutes to crashing, disgorging climaxes, and trundled away with twelve buckets of its petrified bodily fluids to be insinuated into the Mother of All Kitchens. A few more buckets of potent strippings were teased from the occult relic before the witching hour was up.

At 4:20, the third harpie, the high priestess, revved up her monstrous MFPU (a more appropriate acronym can never be invented); with fire in its belly and ice in its veins, she wheeled the unwieldy contraption, smelling of diesel and rancid grease, onto the street to "pee" for a couple minutes; then drove away in order to spread the drippings of the Scotsman's liquefying seed throughout the neighboring municipality.
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C.S. Lewis wrote in his foreword to Screwtape Proposes a Toast, "... I never wrote with less enjoyment... [T]hough it was easy to twist one's mind into the diabolical attitude, it was not fun, or not for long. The strain produced a sort of spiritual cramp. The world into which I had to project myself while I spoke through Screwtape [ed., or about TLC Catering] was all dust, grit, thirst and itch. Every trace of beauty, freshness and geniality had to be excluded. It almost smothered me before I was done."

$130 Per Week

That's how much a local catering service business would charge me each week to park my catering truck in their corporate yard. You know... that truck I'm going to buy from "a guy."
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The $130 weekly per truck price includes water and electrical outlets, Darling International waste grease dumps, trash dumps, and two "barrows" (large contractor wheelbarrows) of crushed ice each day. The account carries weekly charges for additional ice, cleaning and food service supplies, a very large assortment of prepackaged foodstuffs, and some institutional sized ingredients for cooking onboard the big kitchens-on-wheels.
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$130 per week = $563 per month = $6, 760 per year per truck (today's dollars.) Below is a chart (larger chart) that lays out how many trucks TLC Catering had cleared for sanitary operations by County Health for each year from 1988 through 2008. Truck #3 is still in use in 2009 = 22 years.



In this calculation, the present value of the rent "savings" is assumed for all years.


If all these 22 years of business rent were transacted today, TLC Catering pockets $466,000 not available to any other catering businesses who operate legally. This is the core reason why TLC Catering was able to stay financially afloat all these years. This is the core reason Allen & Brassey fight like rabid dogs to preserve the false grandfathering claim of property use legality. For over two decades, this and other money was obtained illegally, while the City of Manteca stood by, blind and stupid.
Those hard dollars didn't appear out of thin air, either. They were purchased with non-monetary social costs paid by their neighbors: primarily, a quality of life degradation caused by noise pollution equivalent to harassment and assault and, secondarily, a continuing business blight putting severe pressure on residential property values.
There are a couple other very significant financial aspects to this case - the "savings" of middleman profit margins, and repeated refinancing while riding the real estate bubble. These will be discussed later as more information becomes available.