Manteca's Crack Code Enforcer

Under-staffed or under-brained?

(...but I just sent it to the last known owner instead of checking anything...)

Manteca Code Enforcement: Cosmic Entropy? *

.............................................: Comic Entertainment?
.............................................: Cannibis Enjoyment?

You say what, Mr. Cunningham (Scott)?

You, a bright C.E. brain? Clearly not!
Since your current employer
Allows cann'bis enjoyer
It's no wonder your work's gone to pot

Sheesh! Your skill set and methods are slim

Makes your chance of success flicker dim
Maybe look on the 'puter
For the foreclosure suitor?
Send your "We Notice Shit" on to him!

From the time of citation 'til now**

Musta smoked your Sierra High (r) grow?
Dumb! Ya gotta have vigor
Pulling Oaf-icial trigger
Coulda saved your embarrassing row

So this here's what I want you to do-

'Specially now that I gave you a clue:
1. Reverse all of these "crocks"
2. Send confirms to my box
3. Let me NEVER again hear from you!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

* the degradation of the matter and energy

in the universe to an ultimate state
of inert uniformity

** 03Jan13 to 20Feb13,

seven weeks of pissing up the wrong tree!
.
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Trash v. Garbage

.

Listen, male sex object, no f'n TLC from us!
We want weed... and we want it NOW!


My attorney tells me the BDG's are howling and barking again, refusing to produce discovery items in the civil lawsuit and, in general, just being their normal horrible, bitchy selves. (Maybe they should smoke more of their head case "medicine"... oops, maybe that's the problem?!)

Before the hearing on April 20th, I'm putting some housecleaning items back on the record to show that the central question in the Motion for Summary Judgment is most definitely ripe for decision.

Here is the letter going out today to the City of Manteca. The letter gathers together an assortment of lies, errors, and ignorances on the parts of Lyin' Lynda Allen, Big Brassey Boobs, and several Catatonic City departments.

(Happy St. Patrick's Day!)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

City of Manteca
Mr. Pinkerton, City Manager
1001 W. Center Street
Manteca, CA 95337

March 17, 2011

Re: Deficiencies at 810 Fishback Street

Dear Mr. Pinkerton,

In February 2010 my neighbors gave up the illegal business use of their property, prompted no doubt by my civil lawsuit against them. The use was abandoned and their claim of legal designation was rescinded by the City of Manteca. (See attachment A, letter of December 15, 2010.) There remain four unresolved points with the owners and the property, three of which are directly tied to this rescinded use, and all of which are under City of Manteca jurisdiction.

1. Restore solid waste collection (Solid Waste & Finance Departments)

Some years prior to June 21, 1996, the owners of 810 Fishback Street ceased paying for refuse pickup, subsequently claimed grandfathered business use, and in 2000 were exempted from the municipal service. The City has lost thousands of dollars. Now that the business use has ceased, as noted above, the property must be restored to the municipal solid waste collection program, as are all other residences in this city. (See attachment B, Case Sheet for MS-34246, filed June 21, 1996.)

I request a copy of the Court’s orders for the exemption from the City’s files, or from the exempted owners. If such orders cannot be produced, then restoration of service is required.

2. Too many animals/dogs/cats (Animal Control & Code Enforcement Departments)

Among my neighbors’ first assertions in 2007 was their claim that their many dogs served to protect their business assets from thieves; specifically, food stored in their several outdoor refrigeration appliances. Even if their business use claim was valid, the Municipal Code still only allows for three dogs/cats on a residential lot.

For eighteen months I have tried to get Animal Control to reduce the dog count on the parcel, from six, to three or less. Animal Control now claims they have referred the complaint to Code Enforcement. (See attachment C, cover letter only, March 3, 2011 to Code Enforcement Department.)

3. Illegal construction still houses former business assets (Building Inspection & Code Enforcement Departments)

In December 2009 I notified the City of Manteca of certain noncompliant structures used in the business on the neighboring property. Deficiencies noted were/are: no permits for the poured concrete foundations; zero setback from the wooden property line fence; wood-destroying water drainage from both the noncompliant structures and the business appliances housed within. Some of the business appliances are now gone, but the noncompliant structures remain. (See attachment D, Request # 329034, December 29, 2009.)

Code Enforcement’s response started with: “Structure was in place at the time the city annexed the property.” That is untrue. The neighbors poured the concrete pads specifically to physically support the weight and vibrations of the various commercial appliances they installed during their “official” - and illegal - business expansion in 1993-94, well after the 1986 annexation. Further enclosure work took place after 2007.

4. Highly irregular building permit for solar electric system (Building Department)

The reputed owners of the photovoltaic system erected under permit 04-143, issued 4/28/04, were Roger and Flora Stewart of 786 Fishback Street. (See attachment E, Application and Inspection Record.) Unfortunately, Roger had died a year earlier, on 4/10/2003, age 87; his wife, Flora, died 10/29/2005, a year after the system’s installation, at age 83.

I am the current owner of 786 Fishback Street. My three questions are:

Why was the project built on a non-owner parcel (222-11-003 instead of 222-11-002)?

How did this 82-year-old woman get suckered into lending her name to her neighbor’s project?

How did the City of Manteca excuse such a lapse, or condone such a fraud, in the permitting process?


I am committed to seeing this property rehabilitation completed, for reasons I have repeatedly relayed to you since my first letter on March 5, 2008 (not attached.) Those reasons are grounded on the rationale stated in this 1954 court opinion, which should be the first commandment of all zoning and enforcement officials:

“Footnotes, note 2. ‘It has always been assumed that non-conforming uses would gradually eliminate themselves from the district in which they exist if they were not permitted to expand. Such has not proven to be the case. They not merely continue to exist, but to send down deeper roots. They become clear monopolies and special privileges. Their existence is a continual threat to the conservation of property values in the districts where they exist. The time has come when cognizance should be taken of this situation and provision made, probably in the state law, whereby non-conforming uses may be gradually eliminated under some equitable method of procedure.’ [Citation]” (emphasis added) [Los Angeles v. Gage, 127 Cal. App. 2d 442 (Cal. App. 1954)]

The above is for legal land uses. Reason dictates that there is need for action, not discussion, because the subject land use is/was noncompliant (illegal) from the outset and, unchecked for twenty-three years, sank several “deeper roots” that need killing.

Sincerely yours,

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Neither the BDG's nor their business, TLC Catering, were ever grandfathered,
so why are they still exempt from city garbage pickup?

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BDG's Pour Fuel on the Fire

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Ever since I insisted (eventually via a lawsuit) that the BDG's stop their noisy and illegal business operation, they have retaliated with MORE intrusive noise and invasive surveillance of MY property.

A well-meaning, kindly old dweeb recently advised me that to continue blogging about Lynda Allen is like "pouring fuel on the fire." The messenger was intending to de-escalate any hostilities perpetrated by the Three Beaches toward me, but in the real world was like telling Lord Chamberlain to placate Adolf Hitler. Everyone knows how well that appeasement strategy worked out prior to World War II erupting and sweeping the nations.

You know the old sayings:

• The night is always darkest before the dawn.
• Things usually get worse before they get better.

That is certainly the case with any attempts to communicate with, or accommodate, or ignore, Lynda Allen, Theresa Brassey, or Cornelia Green. These three assholes feed off each other and are beyond any sane or rational interpersonal skills. The only time their world view includes others is when they can impose their noxious toxic selves on the others.

At lunchtime today there was ANOTHER guy with a truck and a ladder crawling around on the BDG's property and house. Why? you ask. It appears that the paranoid pussies can't get enough of what they never get are rearranging their CCD surveillance cameras and needed a new cable strung. It was strung externally because they don't want to contaminate the sanctity of Felix's cable-crawling in the attic. (More likely, there are too many bats in that belfry already.) Where does the cable go?

New cable strung from outbuilding to... where?

Ah, there it is. A second camera mounted under the gable eaves to survey my front yard. (Right next to the first one that spies on my bedroom window.)

A second camera mounted under the BDG's eaves
to capture my front yard

This brought up a corollary question - Does this new camera affect their other two spy cameras out back? Sure enough, the camera that used to watch gophers dig tunnels in my back yard has been moved up front, where it's sure to get more "play time."

If Lyin' Lynda and her live-in lovers keep pouring evil, volatile fuels on the situation, even a small spark could... quite possibly... ignite a conflagration.

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Draft Mediation Letter

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{Pssst! Someone buy "A is for Asshole" on Amazon and read it to Lynda.}

My attorney asked me for a *short* draft mediation letter outlining the case and my expected outcomes from next week's mediation session. The letter, he said, will be forwarded to the mediator and to the defendants in advance of the session.

For the loyal supporters following the lawsuit, you will find nothing new here. For the rest of you, the points are focused versions of the three aims I spelled out two and one-half years ago, on April 4, 2008, in a letter to the City of Manteca:

My aims are threefold. (1) The immediate need is nighttime noise cessation. (2) The next goal, in the short term, is to have the City of Manteca spell out for me and my neighbors the legal responsibilities (and necessary formal variances!) this business has in a residential neighborhood. (3) My long term goal (and the Planning Department’s goal?) is to have the business assets and operations removed from the property (perhaps to a commercial zone?)



You will see below only slight wording changes in those aims, even though in April 2008 everyone was still suckered by Lyin' Lynda's big lie... you know, the one about how she was running a "legally grandfathered business." {Pish!} A fourth aim of mine, since the necessity of a lawsuit was forced on me, is to lay the costs of exterminating these roaches this sordid affair on the guilty parties.

BEHLING v. ALLEN, et al.
Case # 39-2009-00212085-CU-OR-STK
Mediation letter
November 29, 2010


Plaintiff charges the defendants with noise nuisance caused by reason of their illegal land use of operating the business known as TLC Catering and commissary from their residential property zoned R-1. Prior to the lawsuit, all municipal administrative remedies were denied to plaintiff. Upon filing this suit, the defendants immediately engaged in retaliatory noise increases, which were made part of the first amended pleadings. Soon after the first amendment, unwarranted and harassing closed circuit digital (CCD) camera surveillance of plaintiff on his property commenced.


Plaintiff’s aim is to live in peaceful and quiet enjoyment of his adjoining residential property by:


A) stopping the incessant noise nuisances and retaliatory intrusions emanating from 810 Fishback Street, including business uses and noises, all-day/every-day harassment playing of the yard radio since June 4, 2009, and intrusive, overreaching use of CCD infrared surveillance cameras since October 11, 2010;


B) obtaining a complete recision and extinguishment of the deceitfully gained June 1993 “legal, nonconforming” use designation for 810 Fishback Street either by defendants’ sworn statement of confession, or by City of Manteca’s written determination, or by Superior Court order;


C) effecting the cleanup and rehabilitation of 810 Fishback Street to residential only use by complete removal or demolition from the property of all assets - buildings, structures, vehicles, equipment, appliances, fixtures, inventories, etc. - used in conducting the business from 1987 to 2010 (preliminary asset list is attached); and


D) recovering plaintiff’s costs, damages, and legal fees incurred to obtain obstinate defendants’ compliance with state laws, municipal ordinances, and common courtesies.

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Preliminary asset list of TLC Catering and commissary


(This is plaintiff’s list because attempts to verify these assets, first by interrogatory, then by demand for production of acquisition documents, again by request for admissions, and finally by request for on-site inspection, have in all cases produced only non-response or evasions by the defendants.)


Mobile home, license # FQ1259


Covered dirt floor structure behind mobile home (eastward) and all equipment in it


Trailmobile refrigerated shipping container behind the mobile home (eastward)


Grease barrel storage corral and grease barrels


Two (2) Mobile Food Preparation Units (MFPUs, or catering trucks)


One Vending truck


One trash truck


Covered concrete floor structure on the north property line


Equipment and appliances on the north property line:

• Scotsman icemaker and condenser
• Follett ice storage/dispensing bin
• Admiral freezer/refrigerator combo
• Kenmore upright freezer
• Bally walk-in freezer

Chest freezer on covered porch attached to east side of main dwelling


Outdoor radio mounted on outbuilding


Surveillance cameras


All other unverified buildings, structures, vehicles, equipment, appliances, fixtures, parts stocks, inventories, and detritus currently or formerly used in the nonconforming uses

- - - - - - - - -

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Spanking New to the BDGs: The Manteca Municipal Code

.

Here is yet another example of the Barefoot Dirty Girls acting on their endocrine secretion driven emotions rather than using any brain function or rationality.

The BDGs flew the coop at 5:00 a.m. Thursday morning and have not returned since. (Having a nice ten-year trip to Oregon? Too much to hope it's permanent?) Again they left the keys to the compound - house, radio, marijuana, dogs, everything - with their foreign language speaking handyman crew, Felix and Joaquin. Las instrucciones a los trabajadores son:

• feed the dogs,
• prepare the Bally walk-in freezer for removal,
• build a fence,
• and play the yard radio loudly!

(Who ya gonna call? A Gnome-Be-Gone!)

However, it is plain that the fence they envisioned was not the replacement for the one their illegal shed runoff destroyed, but a front yard screen instead. I'm just guessing here, but perhaps my existence hassles her/them somehow? {smilie} I certainly hope the druggie's brain dump plan on paper took into account the relevant sections of the Manteca Municipal Code.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
MMC 17.09.030 Front yard setbacks

(from Table 2 for R-1-6 properties: 20 feet from sidewalk)

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MMC 17.09.050 Structures in required yards

B. Fences, Walls and Landscape Related Structures.

     1. Solid fences, walls, hedges and retaining walls not more than seven feet in height may occupy any required yard or other open space, except that fences, walls, hedges and retaining walls shall be no higher than three feet six inches when located in the required front yard setback area, in the required set back area along the side street of a corner lot, and along the rear or side lot line of a reversed corner lot where it abuts the front yard of the adjoining key lot.
          a. In the R districts, solid fences, hedges or retaining walls between the height of three feet six inches and seven feet may be located to within twenty feet of the existing or future back-of-sidewalk.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
MMC 17.19.040 Screening

B. Height and Location of Screening. Unless otherwise specified, screening required by this title shall be not more than seven feet in height. Except that adjacent to the front yard or street side yard of an adjoining lot in an R or C-O district, such screening shall be not less than thirty inches nor more than forty-two inches in height. All screening shall follow the lot line of the lot to be screened, or the inside edge of the sidewalks, or shall be so arranged within the boundaries of the lot so as to substantially hide from adjoining properties the building, facility or activity required to be screened. [That's 2½ to 3½ feet.]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

See how simple it is? What it means is that a homeowner cannot... uh, should not... build a fence over 3½ feet tall in the front yard.

This could be an interesting weekend...

Actually, it already is somewhat interesting since my attorney called to say opposing counsel has again promised to get us the last one or two outstanding items; the August 13th Admissions with Verification Signatures and date/time/place/name for a Voluntary Mediation session.

Am I going to hold my breath and trust Lynda Allen and Theresa Brassey to actually perform? {Have they ever performed correctly before? Are they ever going to get it right?} Hell, no. I'm just waiting for them to default on this dance before calling this litigation ripe for judgment.

.

{Shhhh! This Is Supposed To Be A Surprise Birthday Present...}

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credit

I told you before that I am an afficionado of all things "catering" (except for eating any food sold from a catering truck... and icemakers... and commissaries... and outlaw owners.)

So, let me tell you! When I came across these gorgeous little cardboard fold-up models of catering trucks, I immediately KNEW what to get Mellow Yellow for her birthday this weekend! You see, the reason is she got deathly sick and had to quit her business (finally! on a residential property, no less!) and has to get rid of all those commercial vehicles (and other business assets) on her property. So much stress on the poor woman. And Code Enforcement is on to her... they say:

Tue 9/21/2010 3:29 PM
Your request # 460464 has been resolved with the resolution:
Code Enforcement is aware of the situation and will be addressing the appropriate violations. Thank you for your concern.

This is in reference to the Complaint on Garage Sales you submitted on 09/13/2010 6:28 PM
Location: 810 Fishback Street
Description: Re: Request #455382, the two vehicles in question were pushed in front of a container/trailer. They are visible from the sidewalk without elevating any cameras - or eyeballs.

The complaint above was actually regarding Abandoned Vehicles, but they got confused, I guess, when I asked the below question online:

Wed 9/1/2010 3:17 PM
This is in reference to the Question you submitted on 09/01/2010 2:46 PM
Description: How many vehicles can be sold, or offered for sale, from a residential property without an auto dealer's license? 1? 2? 3? 4? 5? 6? more?

Reason Closed: The City does not have anything to do with an auto dealer's license so inquiries regarding this would need to be directed to the DMV. The City also does not have any rules regarding the sale of ones own vehicles. As example, If someone owned 10 vehicles and suddenly needed to liquidate them due to a need for cash, there is nothing that says that they can't do so. On the other hand, if they were purchasing vehicles to turn around and re-sell them, that would be something that would then be looked at as a business activity that would not be allowed. In addition, the courts have held that we can not regulate someone putting a for sale sign on their vehicle as this is considered a free speech issue.

Oh, so now it's a freedom of political speech to amass commercial vehicles on a residential property and illegally conduct business therefrom? And after closing the business, using the property as a commercial auto sales lot is also freedom of political speech? {imbeciles!}

{Deep breath! Exhale slowly... Slow heart rate and lower blood pressure.}

O.K. Back on track...

These darling little cardboard catering trucks, however, ARE legal for her to have on her property. And anyway, after "[Yellow] takes one toke with her famous lungs" * this'll look just like the real thing. Sorta ease her pain, like, ya' know... BUT, she has to be really careful while burning her roaches inside one a' these coaches, or she may just "go[] up in a puff of smoke." *

But please help me choose. I'm having trouble deciding which model to get her. Here's the current catalogue, and after that are some larger images. Please let me know what you think.

Señor Macho Taco Model




Customizable Model
(To reconstruct that sweeeeet TLC look and feel!)




Bleep Labs Model - for peddling anthropomorphic noise toys
(as if Lynda needed any help making more noise!)




Pirate Model
(Yum Yum, Hard Tack & Rum)




Muertos Model
(I thought this was the unofficial title of every taco truck out there?)




Yum Tacos Model




Kawaii Model
(can you imagine raw sashimi being sold from a taco truck?)




Zombie Model
(closest to truth-in-advertising of any model listed)




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* see highlighted lines

The Smoke Off
by Shel Silverstein

Now, in the laid-back California town of sunny San Rafael
Lived a girl named Pearly Sweetcake - you probably knew her well
She was stoned 15 of her 18 years, and her story was widely told
That she could smoke 'em faster than anyone could roll

Well, her legend finally reached New York, that Grove Street walk-up flat
Where dwelt the Calistoga Kid, a beatnik from the past
He'd been rollin' dope since time began, now he took a cultured toke
And said, "Jim, I can roll 'em faster than any CHICK can smoke"

So a note gets sent to San Rafael for the championship of the world
The Kid demands a smoke-off; "Well bring him on!" says Pearl
"I'll grind his fingers off his hands! He'll roll until he drops!"
Says Calistog, "I'll smoke that chick till she blows up and pops".

So they rent out Yankee Stadium, and the word is quickly spread
Come one, come all, who walk or crawl, tickets just two lids a head
And from every town and hamlet, over land and sea they speed
The world's greatest dopers, with the world's greatest weed.

Hashishers from Morocco, hemp smokers from Peru
And the Shashniks from Bagun (who smoke the deadly Pu-ga-ru)
And those who call it "light of life"
And those that call it "boo".

See the dealers and their ladies, wearing turquoise lace and leather
See the narcos and the closet smokers, puffing all together
From the teenies who smoke legal, to the ones who've done some time
To the old man who smoked "reefer", back before it was a crime.

And the grand old House That Ruth Built is filled with the smokes and cries
Of 50,000 screaming heads, all stoned out of their minds
And they play the national anthem, and the crowd lets out a roar
As the spotlight hits the kid and Pearl, ready for their smoking war.

At a table piled up high with grass, as high as a mountain peak
Just tops and buds of the rarest flowers, not one stem, branch or seed
I mean, Maui Wowie, Panama Red, Acapulco Gold
Kif from East Afghanistan, and that rare Alaska Cold

And there's sticks from Thailand, ganj from the island,
And Bangkok's blooming best
(and some of that wet imported shit
That capsized off Key West).

There's Oaxacan tops and Kenya bhang, and Riviera fleurs
And that rare Manhattan Silver, that grows down in the New York sewers.
And there's bubblin' ice cold lemonade, and sweet grapes by the bunches
And there's Hershey bars and Oreos (in case anybody gets the munches)

And the Calistoga Kid, he smiles,
And Pearly, she just grins
And the drums roll low, and the crowd yells "GO GO GO!!"
And the world's first smoke-off begins.

Well, the kid he flicks his fingers once, and ZAP that first joint's rolled
Pearl takes one toke with her famous lungs, and WHOOSH that roach is cold
Then the kid he rolls his super-bomb, that would paralyze a moose
And Pearl takes one mighty hit, and ...... that bomb's defused

And then he rolls three in just ten seconds, and she smokes them up in nine
And everybody sits back and says, "Hey.... this just might take some time"

See the blur of flying fingers, see the red coal burning bright
As the night turns into mornin', and the mornin' fades to night
And the autumn turns to summer, and a whole damn year is gone
And the two still sit, on that roach-filled stage, smokin', and rollin'...on

With tremblin' hands he rolls his jays, with fingers blue and stiff
She coughs and stares with bloodshot gaze, and puffs through blistered lips
And as she reaches out her hand for another stick of gold
The Kid, he gasps, "Damn it, bitch! There's nothin' left to roll!"

"NOTHIN' LEFT TO ROLL!" screams Pearl. "IS THIS SOME TWISTED JOKE?
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO FUCK AROUND; MAN, I COME HERE TO SMOKE!"

And she reaches 'cross the table and grabs his bony sleeves
And crumbles his body between her hands, like dried and brittle leaves
Flicking out his teeth and bones like useless stems and seeds
And then she rolls him in a zig-zag, and lights him like a roach
And the fastest man, with the fastest hands, goes up in a puff of smoke.

In the laid-back California town of sunny San Rafael
Lives a girl named Pearly Sweetcake - you probably know her well
She been stoned 21 of her 24 years, and her story is still widely told
How she still can smoke 'em faster than any dude can roll

While, off in New York City, on a street that has no name
There's the hands of the Calistoga kid, in the Viper Hall of Fame
And underneath his fingers, there's a little golden scroll
That says, "Beware of bein' the roller
When there's nothin' left to roll".

.

The Cancer Metastasizes*

.

Great Scott! Wave after wave of flotsam and jetsam - vomit from the BDG's illict decades-old catering enterprise - are now spilling over into the street!

I'm guessing the triage** underway is to segregate the pure crap from the flea market merchandise, and those from the piles of shit stored under the Big Top, the latter likely to be dragged along by the BDG's to their future paradise home... far, far, far away. (The farther the better... but wherever that paradise is, it's about to suffer a mortal blow. See definitions for metastasize.*)

Like everything else the hash-slinging potheads do, they don't have the good sense to sneak out of town in the middle of the night; instead they have to trash the neighborhood first.

I wonder if they have a permit for their merchatile display going on the second day now? Flea market... yard sale... garage sale... lawn sale... take your pick of terms; they are all equivalent under the Manteca Municipal Code.

“Garage sale” means a sale conducted by an individual homeowner or occupant of a home, or apartment owners, or occupant of an apartment unit, for the purpose of selling, trading, bargaining, exchanging or otherwise disposing of unwanted or surplus household furnishings or goods, or other tangible property, usually conducted in a garage, on a patio, upon a driveway, or on or in any portion of premises in a residential zone and for which no inventory or permanent or detail records are kept on the transactions thus carried out. It may, at times, be conducted by a combination of residential dwellers at a single location and may take on the nature and character of a rummage sale or a fund raising event for civic or charitable purposes. All sales designated “lawn sale,” “attic sale,” “rummage sale,” “moving sale,” “flea market sale,” or other terms of similar or like intent and having the foregoing characteristics and purposesshall be deemed garage sales. (MMC 17.61.030 Definitions)

28. Garage or Yard Sales. A garage or yard sale may be conducted on any developed lot in an R district, subject to the following requirements:

a. No more than two such sales may be conducted on any one lot in any one calendar year.
b. Each sale period shall be for no more than three days, unless additional time is approved by the community development director.
c. All related signs shall conform to the requirements of Chapter 17.17 of this title. (MMC 17.07.020 Permitted and Conditionally Permited Uses)

Oh, I know. The BDG's will claim it is not a yard sale - yet - because there are no For Sale signs up - yet. But they are fooling no one, because the BDG's have never followed any rules before and the City of Manteca officials don't enforce any of their own rules, especially on these scofflaws.

As Karen Carpenter sung:

I know I ask perfection of
A quite imperfect world
And fool enough to think
That’s what I’ll find.

And I quote an excerpt from my own soon-to-be published legal writings below:

D. Nonconforming and Noncompliant Uses

The rationale advanced in the citations in this section applies to legal nonconforming uses and is couched in that language. It goes without saying that these principles apply - with imperative action to abate - against illegal or noncompliant uses.

In California, "[Zoning] legislation . . . looks to the future and the eventual liquidation of nonconforming uses." [Citation] [Sabek, Inc. v. County of Sonoma, 190 Cal. App. 3d 163 (Cal. App. 1st Dist. 1987)]

Why is that? The answer was outlined [by the court in Gage] in 1954:

"No case seems to have been decided in this state squarely involving the precise question presented in the case at bar. Until recently zoning ordinances have made no provision for any systematic and comprehensive elimination of the nonconforming use. The expectation seems to have been that existing nonconforming uses would be of little consequence and that they would eventually disappear. [Citation] The contrary appears to be the case. [Citation] It is said that the fundamental problem facing zoning is the inability to eliminate the nonconforming use. [Citation] (footnote 2) The general purpose of present-day zoning ordinances is to eventually end all nonconforming uses. [Citation].
...
“Footnotes, note 2. "It has always been assumed that non-conforming uses would gradually eliminate themselves from the district in which they exist if they were not permitted to expand. Such has not proven to be the case. They not merely continue to exist, but to send down deeper roots. They become clear monopolies and special privileges. Their existence is a continual threat to the conservation of property values in the districts where they exist. The time has come when cognizance should be taken of this situation and provision made, probably in the state law, whereby non-conforming uses may be gradually eliminated under some equitable method of procedure." [Citation] (emphasis added) [Los Angeles v. Gage, 127 Cal. App. 2d 442 (Cal. App. 1954)]

A perfect description of that metastasizing cancer known as TLC Catering, owned and illegally operated by Lynda S Allen and Theresa A Brassey, for twenty-three years on the always-zoned-as-residential property at 810 Fishback Street, Manteca, California - aided and abetted by the lazy, bungling, incompetent fools soaking up our tax dollars down at city hall.

I'm waiting for the multiple (Red, Yellow, and Green) lumpectomies and the proper radiation treatment of this cancer. Which button do you think I'd push?

(from the Natural News site)

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- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* me·tas·ta·size (verb used without object. It's alive!) 1. Pathology (of malignant cells or disease-producing organisms) to spread to other parts of the body by way of the blood or lymphatic vessels or membranous surfaces. 2. to spread injuriously (Ex., Street gangs have metastasized in our city.) 3. to transform, esp. into a dangerous form (Ex., The KGB metastasized after the fall of the Soviet Union. Ex., Truth metastasized into Lynda Allen's lurid TLC fantasy.)

** triage (transitive verb) 1a: the sorting of and allocation of treatment to patients and especially battle and disaster victims according to a system of priorities designed to maximize the number of survivors b: the sorting of patients (as in an emergency room) according to the urgency of their need for care; 2: the assigning of priority order to projects on the basis of where funds and other resources can be best used, are most needed, or are most likely to achieve success. Ex., Nurses do triage in the emergency room. (Fr, sorting, sifting, from trier to sort, from Old French) Rhymes with triage: barrage, collage, corsage, dressage, frottage, garage, gavage, lavage, massage, ménage, mirage, montage, moulage, portage, potage, treillage.

(Great rhymes! I'll have to use some of them soon because a couple, in particular, apply to the BDG's.)
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Business Activity Constitutes a Business Use (duh!)

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C'mon, Manteca - even Florida gets the concept of illegal business use! It is unacceptable to have Manteca's code enforcement group, the planning department, a P/R hack, a fuzzy-line city attorney, and all five city council buffoons* remain blind to common - and legal - definitions of business use.

credit: Chuck Pefley

In an appeals case decided last month, and described on the Law of the Land blog, the City of Miami charged Flava Works Inc with illegally operating a business within a residential zone (at least, generating the "raw" material - same as Allen & Brassey's operation?) Flava Works Inc claimed no business transactions took place at the location and, therefore, was exempt from the city's business ordinance. The City of Miami lost in trial court, but won on appeal, in Flava Works, Inc v. City of Miami (pdf).

I have taken the liberty of replacing names and pertinent phrases in the final portions of the issued opinion. The decision of the appellate court applies their legal logic, which logic happens to be the same as mine, but is systemically** missing in Manteca's leadership.

Flava Works [Manteca] argues that no business was being conducted at the 27th [810 Fishback] Street residence because no goods were bought or sold and nothing was manufactured on the premises. However, it can be reasonably asserted that raw video images [food inventories], which were later sold over the internet [off the catering trucks], were [delivered to and ice] created at the 27th [Fishback] Street residence. While t [T]hese images are not tangible goods, they have a commercial value and enable Flava Works [TLC Catering] to earn a profit. This seems to comport with the common definition of a business, which is "[a] commercial enterprise carried on for profit." Black's Law Dictionary 211 (8th ed. 2004).

The activities taking place at the 27th [Fishback] Street residence are part and parcel to Flava Work’s [TLC Catering's] business operations. The fact that certain aspects of the business are performed at other locations does not alter this analysis. Business objectives are the sole reason individuals are paid to live and engage in sexual [such] activities at the 27th [Fishback] Street residence. Flava Works [TLC Catering] would be unable to deliver content [retail product] to its subscribers [customers] without these endeavors. The activities taking place at the 27th [Fishback] Street residence are a clear violation of the prohibition against operating a business in a residential zone.

IV. CONCLUSION

For the foregoing reasons, we reverse the district court’s [Manteca City Council's] grant of summary judgment to Flava Works denial of summary judgment to the City of Miami [Mr. Behling]. In reviewing this matter and hearing the arguments of counsel, the court considered simply holding that the district court [city council] erred in applying the law and remanding for further consideration. However, because there is no dispute in the facts, and in the interest of judicial economy, we have ruled as a matter of law that the City of Miami Code Enforcement Board's Final Administrative Order [Mr. Behling's finding] is due to be reinstated as to that part of the order holding that there was a violation of zoning ordinance 1572 [MMC 17.25] Illegally operating a business in a residential zone. Consequently, we REVERSE AND RENDER PARTIAL JUDGMENT in favor of the City of Miami [Mr. Behling] on the state law claim that Flava Works was [Manteca erred in allowing TLC Catering's] operating a business at the residence[.] , and REMAND for further proceedings on the constitutional claims.

Gee, does any of this sound at all familiar, Manteca City Hall? These three re-written paragraphs are merely advance copy of the judgment I expect to win against the City of Manteca in the near future.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
* buffoon (n) clown: a rude or vulgar fool; a person who amuses others by ridiculous behavior. A jester, joker, jokester, fool, wit-cracker, prankster or buffoon was a person employed to tell jokes and provide general entertainment, typically by a European monarch. (Surely, the voters of Manteca can do better than this.)

** systemic (adj) affecting an entire system; embedded within, spread throughout, and affecting an entire group, system, body, economy, market, society [or a whole city's leadership]; examples: "a systemic poison," or "Everyone front and center in the city council chambers is systemically infected with incurable buffoonery - or worse!"
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Are We But Kissing a Pig?

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"You can clean up a pig, put a ribbon on its tail, spray it with perfume, but it is still a pig." 

You can even put lipstick on a pig, but it is still a pig... and you get really messy when you try to kiss it!

(Surprising resemblance to "Yellow," don't you think? Paint that snout and pucker up!)

= = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Such is the state of affairs at 810 Fishback Street, the property infested with inhabited by the BDGs, "Red," "Green," and "Yellow." For the last two months construction has continuously proceeded next door. The sounds of saws, hammers, shovels, staple guns, compressors, etc. have issued unabated - and adulterated with the always-on strains of Mega 100.1 FM or the monotonous foreign language announcers of World Cup Soccer.

For two months the BDGs have been pouring money into the small house, into which they have been cramming three human {cough} occupants and several dogs / cats / birds / (fish?) for many years. There must have been an awful lot of deferred maintenance built up while they ignored their homeowner duties in favor of their (illegal) nonresidential activities.

When I moved next to "Red," "Yellow," and "Green" three years ago, their constant refrain was, liberally translated, "We is so poor." So poor were they that they sent a confidence woman over to con me out of a few bucks for steel stakes to prop up the falling-down fence they had destroyed with (illegal) runoff from their property. They have since come up with the money to replace most of the fence EXCEPT for the worst portion, hidden from their view behind (illegally) hammered up plywood and tarps they hung in an (illegal) shanty shed. The whole "fence thing" helped me "cotton" fully to their sociopathic personality disorders.

In February of this year, they complained to their freebie homeowners insurance lawyer that the economy was so bad they had to shut down their (illegal and uninsured) home business operation. It must have been running at a deficit for quite a while. Of course, assets of every kind and description are still unsold and still (illegally) on the property.

So, where did they obtain the money to:

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  do landscaping?
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  rebuild a screened porch out back?
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  re-roof the house?
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  put on window sunguards?
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  install new vinyl siding with insulation?
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  as well as
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  keep going to Costco (on an invalid California Sellers Permit?) ?
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  pay their mortgage (full equity refinance in 2007) ?
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  keep gas in their big-ass vehicles?

One guess is, perhaps they sold their Tracy "retail route" to the next generation of roach coach operators. (Several other possibilities come to mind, as well.)

As far as curb appeal is concerned, "Yellow," "Green," and "Red" have done a bang-up job on the house.

Front - New roof, siding, sunguards, and plantings.

Back - Screened porch, less lattice still.

(It even has a shelf for the rock speaker - Auntie Lyn fairly squealed with excitement!)

If the property is indeed being prepped for rental (ha!), the BDGs must surely realize that a non-redneck renter would not touch a disaster such as is in the business yard. The progress the occupants made with the house reminds me of the passage about "whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness." (Matt. 23: 27)

A more modern, colloquial version is, "Putting lipstick on a pig."

To cease running the catering truck(s) last February is one very small part of abating the illegal use of the property. The much larger part is to remove the illegal mobile home, demolish all the illegal structures, and haul away all the illegal trailer trash.

Shanty shed housing ice machine, upright freezer, refrigerator, and outdoor radio.

 

All the rest of the trailer trash... (at least, the inanimate trash.)

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Santa Claus' Radio Room at the Top of the Rainbow

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As we wait... and wait... for the court to get around to docketing the misdemanor charge, it is time to recap the pervasive and invasive nature of Three Beaches (five) dogged determination to perpetuate the "feeling" of a business establishment on BOTH of our residential properties. (Of course, their property retains the "business look" with all of the vehicles, structures, equipment, appliances, and fixtures still illegally residing where they have for twenty-three years.)

The BDGs began their Great White Noise Cover-Up in June 2009 by installing the outdoor radio speaker. But, because of the continuous icemaker noise, the 3:00 a.m. hour-long Ice Bucket Brigade, the 4:30 roach coach departure, and the diesel-powered vendor delivery trucks, the afternoon radio usage was the least of the noise pollution.

With the January 2010 icemaker shutdown and the February 2010 discontinuance of the catering truck runs, the radio nuisance came into its own - finally assuming the true malicious reason for its existence. As the chart below shows, its scheduled use also elongated from their former afternoon return time of approx. 13:15 hrs to its present daily startup of 07:00 hrs.

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  The blue line shows the BDGs consistent (and illegal) start time at 07:00 hrs over three months. The once a week dips to 08:00 hrs is the "bone" they toss me on Sunday mornings before turning on gospel rock. How "Christian" of them... 
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  The pink line shows how the BDGs average bedtime has slipped as the Spring days got longer and stayed lighter - until they got TV. 
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  The yellow line and data points are the difference between the daily start time and the daily stop time. It shows how many hours each day the radio speaker is broadcasting into my house and yard. 
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  Linear trendline analysis shows that daily radio nuisance increased from just over 12 hours to just under 13 hours daily (average 12.27 hours.)

My best guess is that Mega 100.1 FM, KQOD Stockton was the station the Barefoot Dirty Girls treated themselves to (and to their poor customers) while plying their ancient trade on the streets of Tracy, California - as referred to last Christmas morning.

Oh, what was that noise? My ears took the hit!

'Twas the loud strains of soft rock that accompany the shit

Served up from the roach coach they defensively guard

Within the bleak compound of their half-acre yard.

The serenades, football games, news breaks with smokes,

Station identifications, the advertising blokes -

It goes on all day and well into the night.

Just their way of saying, "Yep, we're here to spite!"

 
Noise is so hard-wired into their reptilian neuro-circuitry that they appear unable to function in its absence - they HAVE TO create noise to prove their existence, an external manifestation of their self-loathing, refusing to live quietly inside their own heads, allowing nothing but self-chosen stimulus to block out the world around them. This radio, a po'-mouth perversion of Muzak (c), is supported by all three residents, who take nuisance promulgation assignments from the Supreme Generalissimo.
 
I was surprised (more like, ecstatically tickled) yesterday morning when the radio did not come on at 07:00. The BDGs were distracted, much too high, (gone all a-fluttery?), by the imminent arrival of a crew of roofers to do some stripping. It was a full 22 minutes later that one BDG stated the half-question to Lynda, "We forgot our music." Of course, that environmental deficiency was immediately remediated. (We are compelled to let our @$$-hole neighbor how we feel about him!)
 
Of course, I pay zero attention to whatever is programmed by the radio station. I only hear ONE tune (retaliatory nuisance noise) and only ONE repeating lyric - exemplified by my neighbors - a two-word vulgar expression that starts with the letter "F" and ends with the letter "U".
 
Truly a BDG gift that never stops giving... the finger.
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The Pimples are Ready for Popping

• A particularly noxious Witches Brew has been mulling for twenty-three years at 810 Fishback Street in Manteca, California.
• Since March 2007, the acrid fumes of dismissive arrogance, open hostility and sub rosa vindictiveness have streamed over the property line fence, suffocating me, as the occult admixture heated up to a simmer.
• Last night (Wednesday) the putrifying glop came to a rollicking boil, with the gas-filled bubbles splattering venom everywhere as they popped.
• Last night a citizen's arrest of Lynda Allen was made and a citation for disturbing the peace was issued to her by the Manteca Police Department (MPD). A court appearance will be forthcoming.

Backing up a couple days...

On Monday night the neighbors were visited by an MPD officer, as reported here. Lynda said "nice" things while dealing with the police, but desperately wanted to lop my head off after they left.

Despite the visit, Lynda again turned ON the yard radio Tuesday morning at 7:00 a.m., but did turn it OFF at 8:00 p.m., with some grumbling. (Lessons learned? Hah!)

On Wednesday, Lynda - herself, personally - turned the radio ON at 7:00 a.m. Thirteen hours later:

• 8:00 p.m. - After its all-day noise, in the late, darkening twilight, the radio was still ON. Not a soul stirred in the yard and the house lights appeared to be off.
• 8:15 p.m. - The house and yard lights came on.
• 8:17 p.m. - Corky Greene appeared, yawning, as she crossed to the outbuilding, but returned to the house without shutting OFF the radio.
• 8:18 p.m. - One minute later, Corky again did a round trip without shutting OFF the radio.
• 9:30 p.m. - I called the Manteca Police and requested to sign a disturbing the peace complaint.
• 9:59 p.m. - The next, and final, appearance of one of the three in the yard to shut OFF the radio.
• 10:10 p.m. - Police officer arrives. Two short police visits with neighbors, three short visits with me over the next twenty-five minutes.
• 10:35 p.m. - Wednesday night finally closes.

Interesting comments by the officer regarding this visit:

• "I don't know what you guys have going on between the two of you - and I don't want to know." (You and me both!)
• "I talked with her for ten seconds and I was already done talking to her." (I feel you pain, brother.)
• "She said she'll turn it (the radio) back on tomorrow." (And she did. She was in the outbuilding way early, side window open, probably smoking something, waiting for the stroke of 7:00. She turned ON the radio [actually, she turns on everything... and everyone...  :-) ], then came around the corner and stood for a few seconds facing her crap fence with its height extenders, displayed a huge shit-eating grin as if to say, "Screw you," before returning to the radio and spinning the volume knob UP for a few seconds. She probably thought I might be sleeping after the late night escapades.)
• "She was not very receptive to anything I had to say." (Don't take it personally. She deals with everyone that way.)
• When I told the officer I had been patient with her for a long time, but I had now lost my patience, he said, "I lost my patience in two minutes."

Lynda's / Theresa's / Corky's excuses:

1. I play it all day all the time. (Since June 2009, genius, when the speaker appeared right after you were served the civil lawsuit for noise nuisance.)
2. I'm legal within the city's noise ordinance time limits. (Um, check again, babe. So you don't have to bust a brain cell finding it, here it is, below. Have someone read it to you. Ordinance 1374, Section 9.52.040, subsection A. - the city law since December 5, 2007. But remember your legal training; municipal code is superceded by state law, in this case the California Penal Code, Section 415, if the use (radio) has no communication value and the purpose is to annoy another.)

3. It's an outdoor speaker so I can play it in the (rain / dark / cold / bathrobe and slippers.)
4. I like to listen to music while I'm working in the yard (in the rain / dark / cold / bathrobe and slippers? Buy an iPod, duh...)
5. I can do whatever I want on my property. (As long as you do not export your noise to other people's properties.)
6. I stopped running the icemaker - what MORE does that f******, freaky neighbor want? (see here)
7. HE's harrassing US by calling the police all the time! - Waaahh! (Hey, I'm not the one who has scammed everyone and screwed up everything for the last twenty-three years. Here's your sign... Compliance Brings Peace.)

My attorney called this morning:

We discussed the civil case's Defendants' total silence (I love the sound of that!) regarding the proposed Stipulated Judgment and the next discovery actions held in temporary abeyance.

A Couple of Her Brain Cells Still Work (Almost)

It is still uncertain exactly what T, L & C smoke out in their outbuilding, but whatever it is it sure puffs up Lynda's sense of self-importance and gives her verbal diarreah.

(Really? More than her normal, over-inflated self-centeredness and compulsion to "share" herself with on everyone?)

T, L & C sat around all day yesterday, supervising some guy digging, hauling, pounding, and sawing stuff (Oh, no! More illegal construction?). When he left at 7:45 p.m. in his red Chevrolet van, with the silver diamond on the hood trailing into silver stripes along the sides, the sidewalk superintendents holed up and burned up a few... ah... brain cells. Of course, the yard radio is outside, and had been on since 6:58 a.m., and was still ON at 9:30 p.m. - 14 and 1/2 hours later - while they are inside having their smoke-off.

Having "enjoyed" enough of the TLC serenade - in the morning - at noontime - all evening - I called the Manteca Police Department to come witness this unusual _e_l_o_n_g_a_t_i_o_n_ of the musical day. Alas, prior to the arrival of the police, the befuzzled celebrants emerged from their smoke-filled den at 9:53, hollered something that sounded like "This is just beginning", turned off the radio at 9:55 p.m. (15 hours), wished a good night to someone they called "Dick", and turned off their yard lights.

The two police vehicles drove up at 9:58. (Ever since Lynda "lit into" Officer Mike on his first visit, a backup is now required for dealing with her.) I reported the timing and duration of the radio nuisance and that the neighbors had just turned in. One officer shrugged and said, "We'll wake them up if we need to," and they went to speak with the Trinity's spokesmouth. A short front porch conversation ensued.

Afterward, as the officers reached the sidewalk, again Lynda's needy, greedy self demanded that she ingratiate herself, so she hollered out, "Have a nice night." (Notice, she did not call them by given names this time.) The officers were only halfway to their vehicles across the street when something from the shallow end of her shallow logic pool compelled Lynda to shout out, "Is there a limit to the number of calls? Thirty?" The officers stopped... and turned... The Ice Queen hastily stammered out, "I'm just jokin' " and another "Have a good night," trying vigorously in her redneck way to wave away the icy chill generated by her incredibly crass inquiry.

The officers pulled a U-turn and I met with one by my driveway. He reported my neighbor now believes 10:00 p.m. to be the "legal" cut-off time for the radio. (Now she's suddenly a noise ordinance expert? If so, what does it say about 7:00 a.m.?)  [Well, I'll be damned! It says 8:00 a.m.] The officer tried unsuccessfully to introduce to the benighted woman the simple concept that the big-hands-and-little-hands-o'clock do not apply to something that causes a disturbance of the peace. I told the officer that was the direction I was going and we parted.

Walking back to my lighted front porch, I was confronted by the hissing, venomous hellcat herself - the Generalissimo in bathrobe and slippers on her lawn. Her dirty gray dishrag hair flipped back and forth while her jawbone opened and shut. As I got closer, the half-choked burbling directed by her fully-cooked brain resolved into a reprise from twenty minutes earlier of, "This is just beginning... from now on it's ALL day, EVERY day!" (Holy crap! That sounds just like, " 'Well, bring him on!' says Pearl," in that inimitable, scratchy Shel Silverstein voice from his reefer ballad, The Smoke-Off.) I walked and looked at her, wordlessly. She repeated herself. I repeated my silence and my footsteps. She forced one of her bone-chilling laughs out of her oral orifice while I entered my house and closed the door. I thought, 'The only time expansion of the nuisance left to her is their former bedtime to 10:00 p.m. What was the real substance of her threat? Whatever it is... Bring It ON!'

The night finally closed around 10:25.

This morning opened early, about 6:55 a.m., when Lynda, with the same dirty gray dishrag hair, the same bathrobe and slippers, the newly revitalized, five-minutes-early Lynda, pops out of her door and shuffles over to the outbuilding to turn on the outdoor radio. But at the door something stops her... In an awesome, flashing moment of realization, a couple brain cells fire off! She turns around and re-shuffles back, leaving off her daily rape of Nature's sounds.

Sweet Lord Almighty! Like the Grinch, who's heart grew three sizes that magical Suess-Christmas morning, did Lynda's brain recover a few precious neural pathways overnight? The answer came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes or bags!

The answer came at 7:15a.m. when the radio came ON. Not just a pretty face, Lynda has a brain cell (or two) in her head. Caught by the police a second time last night in her bathrobe and shuffly slippers, this time she was not going to chance her neighbor calling them for the thirty-first time while she was dressed that way. (Besides, she really needed to use that most useful porcelain invention promoted and improved by Thomas Crapper because she was... how do you say?... full of s**t?)

So, here are the lessons my dimly-endowed neighbors may have learned:

#1 - Go #1 in the morning.
#2 - Go #2, too.
#3 - Wash your hands (and mouth) with soap every time you do #1 or #2.
#4 - Get dressed before you screw up because you will be visited when you screw up.

(Let's see how many repetitions it takes for T, L & C to get pot**-trained...)
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