Barefoot in Hell's Kitchens: Frequent Impalements

.

source:

Barefoot in Hell's Kitchens:
Frequent Impalements

[1]
Reviewing the Animus, the Actively Scamming-Us,

Of Vile Neighbors- Lying, Horrendous;

The Blathering, Dawdling and Stupidly Twaddling

Of Corrupted Manteca's Officious;

[2]
Jack Courts, and Jill Judges, Stuft Lawyers (the Fudges),

F'd Up Beyond All Recognition (FUBAR).

If This Is to End, Please, God, Quickly Send

Fire and Brimstone or, At Least, a QWATUR.

= = = = = = = =

[3]

A morning to die for! Another clubbed gopher!
This daybreak is my cup of tea.
God, I wish the same for my southerly neighbor
And then I would truly be free.

[4]

The setting to tell this story 'bout Hell
Is Manteca, a small bad-ass town,
Where bullshit runs deep, slows things to a creep;
Its odor is hard to keep down.

[5]

Be warned at the fore there are arms, legs galore
And more shit to spread thickly around;
Fat cats, and their knobs, and wee Pinole cobs,
Contribute the loud brassey sound.

In her own words:

[6]

"Our company's called TLC."
[A falsehood from A clear through Z.]
"That grandfather bloke
Was dreamt up to cloak
Our bare-assed il-le-gal-i-ty."

So said, we now resume the narrative:

[7]

Despite the loud screeches of Three Rabid Beaches,
This business was simply not legal
To have in their yard– nor the mobile home, ‘tard!-
TLC? No! but pretensions were regal. (*1)

[8]

Their visages mousy and roach coaches lousy,
Where dogs, cats, and chickens all shat,
Round Red and Skin Green both kissed up the Queen,
Sold her dope to put coins in the hat.

[9]

Short, stumpy Red's dumpy, the picture of frumpy,
Blessed with half of a keen half a brain;
She cooks; she hooks; her dishwater looks
Mere bubbles as she swirls down the drain.

[10]

The smallest of packages, the biggest of lackages
And the shrillest of keening high vocals,
The prime BDG (*2), "Hear me, but don't see,"
L/L (Lyin' Lynda) scares all the piss out of locals.

[11]

The deliberate horrors of these ice-pimping whores
Caused the Stewarts an early demise;
The complete lack of sleep kept their depression deep.
All for chorros, burritos, and fries?

Another word?

[12]

"Aboon them a', thee skelpit twats!
Thegither we be thrivin';
They be nae pintles t' gar us loup,
But damn braw triple rivin'!"

Pardoning that unfathomable ejaculation...

[13]

Should you ever get stuck ‘hind a catering truck,
Please know that they simply are cooled
With buckets of ice, dog slobber and mice;
Beware the street drain! Don’t be fooled.

[14]

Midnights were nice... 'cept for crashing of ice
Into five-gallon white plastic buckets!
The icemaker hummed, then it squealed and it thrummed,
While "Lil Brother" did doggie snout dunk-its.

[15]

Deliveries at six- and at four in betwixt-
At eleven, the Darling grease monster;
Truck trips quite a few to Costco: "Yoo-Hoo!
We need sodas and that doggie food - Chompster."

[16]

Great barrels of grease; trash stacked to the trees;
The whole story strains one’s disbelief.
To ask it, to sigh it, to pine for some quiet
Became number one goal for relief.

[17]

One big piece of flotsam– the ancient, loud Scotsman–
Lyin' Lynda's most precious sex toy;
'Til it lost its Freon... and juice wouldn’t stay on...
Her flaccid, deflated life joy.

[18]

The fridges, the freezers, all six canine sneezers,
Shared space with the vast fleet of trucks
Cramped onto the lot, where they really ought not;
A false catering front for the schmucks.

[19]

Back to droppings bovine, which are 'specially divine
‘Round that place which is called City Hall,
Where po-lice, and fire, and more thugs for hire
Each has his/her well-padded stall;

[20]

Just fork in the tax! The chiefs start to relax
And the milk lets down inside their udders.
But call and complain, and you’re met with disdain;
Per-spi-cu-i-ty (*3) brings on them full shudders.

[21]

Ambrose (*4) did confer (and I- hell, yes!- concur)
His tragically funny description
Of Planning's, Enforcement's, obstructive deportments
And their earned- well-deserved!- malediction.

[22]

To them: What’s the law? Just something to gnaw-
No reason to rush into action;
All that noise nuisance stuff is surely enough
To induce gross adverse stu-pe-fac-tion (*5).

[23]

For twenty-three years the icemaker jeers
And the spoutings of shrill Lyin’ Lynda
Made her protestation of true annexation
The big lie of a dried up, old spinsta’.

[24]

The resident _unts pulled some stupid-ass stunts,
Like growing Sierra High © weed,
And parking more toys, and making more noise
Than anyone ever should need.

[25]

Such was the case when brought to the place
Where councils, in all their great wisdom,
Are to hear out each side and– just maybe?!- decide
To enforce their own city’s provision.

[26]

Mister Oleander spoke goose and spoke gander,
Couldn’t seem to at all get a fix.
Among all the rest, if he is the best,
This parochial town’s run by hicks.

[27]

The Decibel Man kept harping old plan
Replaced by him just the year prior.
He got Rex-O-Saurus to join in his chorus;
They threw city law in the fire.

[28]

Just kicking the can, the verbose Milk Man
Spun great webs of airy, fine words.
Yet still, in the end, his will made a bend;
His vote plopped!… just like great milk cow turds.

[29]

Quite late, some attorney wheezed sounds from his gurney
And roiled the mud up right royal;
His fork’d, serpent tongue first flapped, then it stung.
Our tax money made sure he stayed loyal.

[30]

So on to the Mayor, who tried to use prayer
To usurp his namesake, Holy Willie (*6).
His odorous rants (through the seat of his pants)
Made his sucrose orations sound silly.

[31]

Assigning old blame is this council's game-
Not fixing the final solution.
With a genius motion (a fresh hemlock potion)
They washed their hands– causing pollution.

[32]

What low-down, lily-livered, yellow-bellied hounds!
There wasn’t e’en a woman among them
To stand for the right and remove the blight,
Their supposed modus operandum.

[33]

Ah, yes, ain’t it nice? They give free advice,
Which is sure to be worth every cent.
They smirk, fart, and snort, “Take L/L to court.
Our political mojo’s not spent.”

[34]

With research compiled and first papers filed,
A lawsuit was thus set in motion.
The evil return? An eighteen month burn-
A LOUD increase in backyard commotion!

[35]

We now meet two charmers, paid beagles from Farmers,
Who came on the drear reservation
Espousing a claim of righteous domain-
Held solely in imagination;

[36]

Blind shareholders must put way too much trust
In these goons who give no thought to rules.
If there is a buck these fools can muck,
Then there go our rights, lives, and tools.

[37]

Oh, retaliation! L/L’s new installation
Of radio, speaker and wire,
Was the bitch’s bright notion (her full term abortion)
Of which she seemed never to tire;

[38]

Every morning at seven, this musical maven,
Blear-eyed, slithered out to her shop;
Without fail the witch would toggle the switch
And fill each new day with her slop.

[39]

Tell me it warn’t so?! Yes, ma’am, I do trow
That fake rock and her head looked the same;
They both had a mouth that suffered no drought,
And the points on the tops very plain.

[40]

On Easter of ’10, this fart-for-brain hen
Turned her radio up, then departed.
The cops came at noon, heard the notes and the croon,
And ticketed the noise that she started.

[41]

With the city fast sinking in red ink- and stinking [bullshit]-
I stood for a council election;
But the voters all said, Pile more on our head,
And they made their olfactory selection.

[42]

So, four years of more what went on before.
The people have begun to falter
While Manteca brass gets office-chair ass;
The cows will fit horses to halter.

[43]

The summer was hot; the music was not;
Played constantly to beat the bands.
Yet Joaquin and Alex (*7), dogs Castor and Pollux,
Let the speaker slip right through their hands.

[44]

With cameras up high to blanket the sky,
The Dirty Girls spied on their neighbor.
A calendar quarter he suffered disorder
‘Til his own eyes returned their fell favor.

[45]

That got the old goats- they practically choked!-
Cranked their music up and started toking.
The returning cop said the music must stop
And informed them their rap sheet was smoking. (*8)

[46]

With impotent flailing, they tried to go sailing
With big tarps and some very tall timbers
To block direct view of the shit that they do.
Winter winds blew those masts into splinters!

What Lyin' Lynda really means to say:

[47]

“Our aim’s to provide some strange weed
To the sickly-- (and those in sore need.)
A big toke or two-
Flush brains down the loo.
No refunds on claims of bad seed.”

[48]

“Hey, we got drug business to run;
Kill you all without use of a gun–
Not body, but spirit-
And don’t you dare queer it!
(We do that with ourselves, just for fun. ;-) )”

Getting on with it...

[49]

Thought they had learned, but their baked weed-brains burned
And their cameras stayed still in place–
Until one went, "Crack!" ("We’re under attack!")
Taken out by a BB gun ace.

[50]

L/L screeched! Ear-split pishing! Off'cer "Herb" came a-fishing
With camos, guns, search warrants, O' me!
An hour they toss for gold, but get dross,
On the say-so of Ass-bay-yawwwn-ee.

[51]

The judge and DA met most of a day
To cipher if they had a clue.
Their final conclusion: gross mental contusion (*9).
So, what’s the infraction? Who knew?

[52]

On Easter ’11, the twits rooossse up to heaven
(At least, they’re not found on the earth!);
No more cackling voices; Mom Gaia rejoices,
But naught can repair their scorched turf.

[53]

A nephew called Bubba, and his hot hubba-hubba (*10),
Moved into the departed’s place.
Much traffic is showing the MJ’s still growing-
L/L's business still running apace.

[54]

Tick-Tock! Tick-Tock! The BDG’s clock
Musta’ rung, ‘cause they came back (!) on time
To stay HIGH... on top of their herbal cash crop,
Which the dopers all claim’s not a crime.

[55]

They came back, the old haunts, looking gray, looking gaunt,
With their hangers-on, tough red-necks all,
For Cork-Screwed’s old trailer, that neighborhood failure,
To set up for the next small town’s fall.

[56]

The lawyers all say that, real soon, some day,
This suit must slip out of its traces;
The Beaches skedaddled, with the queerest death rattle,
To save their Medusa-like faces.

[57]

Save face! Save face! The plague of the race,
A vile, insipid invention.
Man up to the sneers, the cat-calls, and jeers;
Be glad, at least *negative* attention...

[58]

Order established– and all five books published-
One illegal land use now ended.
But here we are, stuck, with stinky bad luck-
The "grow hydroponic" well tended.

[59]

There is nothing mystical about the logistical
Arrangements to move all that weed-
Simply alternate weeks- swap filled trucks with the freaks
Who sell dope for the BDG's greed.

[60]

A simple deception (that's L/L's perception),
Just like the fake property swap.
Real hard to pin down as she drives a new town
Still slinging her hash. ("Jus' cain't stop!")

[61]

So, what of that co-op, school mom, school pop,
With an AWOL Manteca narc squad?
The law is an ass when it comes to queer grass.
P’rhaps the school board will give it the nod?

[62]

Thus ends the foul war that I early had swore
Would wage red hot until I prevail;
Some storms, some clouds; at last, the death shrouds
'Cross her ugly, small life. Back to Hell!



Back To Hell With You!

 [63]
The prime use of land and the particular brand
Of the BDG’s pot, I’m remanding.
It’s now between God and the Manteca sods;
They can flip for jurisdictional standing.

[64]

{God: Gimme a QWATUR.}
{Manteca: F’ you! We stole it fair and square.}

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Footnotes:

(*1) TLC Catering - what does it mean? The TLC could stand for many things, but the acronyms with perfect applicability are:

Three Lying __unts.
or
Thievin', Lyin', Cheatin' __unts.

See this post for a more full exploration of the subject.

(*2) Barefoot Dirty Girls (BDG’s): Name obtained from a customer complaint, recorded by Environmental Health Department catering truck inspectors in the field on 7/19/1999. (It is incredulous to imagine any - or all - of these bitchy broads being called “girls.”)

“Both girls are dirty, but one is very dirty–
does not wear shoes and feet are black with dirt.”

• ALPHA bitch: Lynda Sue Allen, from Pinole, CA. Appropriately known as Lyin' Lynda; a.k.a. L/L; a.k.a. Auntie Lyn (self-styled.)
• BETA bitch: Theresa Ann "Red" Brassey, a redhead from San Leandro, CA; a.k.a. Rotund Red, Roly-Poly Red, Resectioned Red, and all other appropriate descriptors that start with the letter "R."
• GAMMA bitch: Cornelia Jane "Corky" Green, from the "southerly" side of some rock; a.k.a. Guts[y] Green (for her prominent muffin-top); a.k.a. Skin Green (for her compulsion to exhibit her belly-flab.)

(*3) Per'-spi-cu'-i-ty (n) Clearness or lucidity, as of a statement. Synonyms: 1. clarity, plainness, intelligibility. 2. transparency. 3. derived from a Latin word meaning “to see through,” i.e., clearness of style or exposition, freedom from obscurity. Antonyms: dimness, opacity.

(*4) Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914.) An American journalist and author; a contemporary of Mark Twain. Here is his Devil's Dictionary entry for Commonwealth, in describing a government entity:

COMMONWEALTH, n. An administrative entity operated by an incalculable multitude of political parasites.

.
This commonwealth's capitol's corridors view,
So thronged with a hungry and indolent crew
Of clerks, pages, porters and all attachés
Whom rascals appoint and the populace pays
That a cat cannot slip through the thicket of shins
Nor hear its own shriek for the noise of their chins.

On clerks and on pages, and porters, and all,
Misfortune attend and disaster befall!

May life be to them a succession of hurts;
May fleas by the bushel inhabit their shirts;
May aches and disease encamp in their bones,
Their lungs full of tubercles, bladders of stones;
May microbes, bacilli, their tissues infest,
And tapeworms securely their bowels digest;
May corn-cobs be snared without hope in their hair,
And frequent impalement their pleasure impair.

Disturbed be their dreams by the awful discourse
Of audible sofas sepulchrally hoarse,
By chairs acrobatic and wavering floors-
The mattress that kicks and the pillow that snores!

Sons of cupidity, cradled in sin!
Your criminal ranks may the death angel thin,
Avenging a friend whom I couldn't work in.
..........................K.Q.

(*5) Stu'-pe-fac'-tion (n) 1. the state of being stupefied; stupor. 2. overwhelming amazement or astonishment.

(*6) Holy Willie's Prayer, by Robert Burns

[sixth stanza]

O Lord, Thou kens what zeal I bear,
When drinkers drink, an' swearers swear,
An' singing here, an' dancin there,
Wi' great and sma';
For I am keepit by Thy fear
Free frae them a'.

(*7) Foreign language speaking handymen; also doubled as radio-playing yard guards during the BDG's absences.

(*8) Black Beetles in Amber (A Celebrated Case), by Ambrose Bierce.

...
The Judge on the bench he looked awfully stern;
The District Attorney began to attorn;
The witnesses lied and the lawyers--O my!--
Sing too-ral, i-oo-ral, i-oo-ral, i-yi.

The chap that defended her said: "It's our claim
That he loved us no longer and told us the same.
What else than we did could we decently do?--
Sing too-ral, i-oo-ral, i-oo-ral, i-oo."
...

(*9) Con-tu'-sion (n) Injury (to tissue), usu. without laceration; bruise.

(*10) Purely literary license as to the "hot" part.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

.
.

BDG's Pour Fuel on the Fire

.

Ever since I insisted (eventually via a lawsuit) that the BDG's stop their noisy and illegal business operation, they have retaliated with MORE intrusive noise and invasive surveillance of MY property.

A well-meaning, kindly old dweeb recently advised me that to continue blogging about Lynda Allen is like "pouring fuel on the fire." The messenger was intending to de-escalate any hostilities perpetrated by the Three Beaches toward me, but in the real world was like telling Lord Chamberlain to placate Adolf Hitler. Everyone knows how well that appeasement strategy worked out prior to World War II erupting and sweeping the nations.

You know the old sayings:

• The night is always darkest before the dawn.
• Things usually get worse before they get better.

That is certainly the case with any attempts to communicate with, or accommodate, or ignore, Lynda Allen, Theresa Brassey, or Cornelia Green. These three assholes feed off each other and are beyond any sane or rational interpersonal skills. The only time their world view includes others is when they can impose their noxious toxic selves on the others.

At lunchtime today there was ANOTHER guy with a truck and a ladder crawling around on the BDG's property and house. Why? you ask. It appears that the paranoid pussies can't get enough of what they never get are rearranging their CCD surveillance cameras and needed a new cable strung. It was strung externally because they don't want to contaminate the sanctity of Felix's cable-crawling in the attic. (More likely, there are too many bats in that belfry already.) Where does the cable go?

New cable strung from outbuilding to... where?

Ah, there it is. A second camera mounted under the gable eaves to survey my front yard. (Right next to the first one that spies on my bedroom window.)

A second camera mounted under the BDG's eaves
to capture my front yard

This brought up a corollary question - Does this new camera affect their other two spy cameras out back? Sure enough, the camera that used to watch gophers dig tunnels in my back yard has been moved up front, where it's sure to get more "play time."

If Lyin' Lynda and her live-in lovers keep pouring evil, volatile fuels on the situation, even a small spark could... quite possibly... ignite a conflagration.

.

Draft Mediation Letter

.

{Pssst! Someone buy "A is for Asshole" on Amazon and read it to Lynda.}

My attorney asked me for a *short* draft mediation letter outlining the case and my expected outcomes from next week's mediation session. The letter, he said, will be forwarded to the mediator and to the defendants in advance of the session.

For the loyal supporters following the lawsuit, you will find nothing new here. For the rest of you, the points are focused versions of the three aims I spelled out two and one-half years ago, on April 4, 2008, in a letter to the City of Manteca:

My aims are threefold. (1) The immediate need is nighttime noise cessation. (2) The next goal, in the short term, is to have the City of Manteca spell out for me and my neighbors the legal responsibilities (and necessary formal variances!) this business has in a residential neighborhood. (3) My long term goal (and the Planning Department’s goal?) is to have the business assets and operations removed from the property (perhaps to a commercial zone?)



You will see below only slight wording changes in those aims, even though in April 2008 everyone was still suckered by Lyin' Lynda's big lie... you know, the one about how she was running a "legally grandfathered business." {Pish!} A fourth aim of mine, since the necessity of a lawsuit was forced on me, is to lay the costs of exterminating these roaches this sordid affair on the guilty parties.

BEHLING v. ALLEN, et al.
Case # 39-2009-00212085-CU-OR-STK
Mediation letter
November 29, 2010


Plaintiff charges the defendants with noise nuisance caused by reason of their illegal land use of operating the business known as TLC Catering and commissary from their residential property zoned R-1. Prior to the lawsuit, all municipal administrative remedies were denied to plaintiff. Upon filing this suit, the defendants immediately engaged in retaliatory noise increases, which were made part of the first amended pleadings. Soon after the first amendment, unwarranted and harassing closed circuit digital (CCD) camera surveillance of plaintiff on his property commenced.


Plaintiff’s aim is to live in peaceful and quiet enjoyment of his adjoining residential property by:


A) stopping the incessant noise nuisances and retaliatory intrusions emanating from 810 Fishback Street, including business uses and noises, all-day/every-day harassment playing of the yard radio since June 4, 2009, and intrusive, overreaching use of CCD infrared surveillance cameras since October 11, 2010;


B) obtaining a complete recision and extinguishment of the deceitfully gained June 1993 “legal, nonconforming” use designation for 810 Fishback Street either by defendants’ sworn statement of confession, or by City of Manteca’s written determination, or by Superior Court order;


C) effecting the cleanup and rehabilitation of 810 Fishback Street to residential only use by complete removal or demolition from the property of all assets - buildings, structures, vehicles, equipment, appliances, fixtures, inventories, etc. - used in conducting the business from 1987 to 2010 (preliminary asset list is attached); and


D) recovering plaintiff’s costs, damages, and legal fees incurred to obtain obstinate defendants’ compliance with state laws, municipal ordinances, and common courtesies.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Preliminary asset list of TLC Catering and commissary


(This is plaintiff’s list because attempts to verify these assets, first by interrogatory, then by demand for production of acquisition documents, again by request for admissions, and finally by request for on-site inspection, have in all cases produced only non-response or evasions by the defendants.)


Mobile home, license # FQ1259


Covered dirt floor structure behind mobile home (eastward) and all equipment in it


Trailmobile refrigerated shipping container behind the mobile home (eastward)


Grease barrel storage corral and grease barrels


Two (2) Mobile Food Preparation Units (MFPUs, or catering trucks)


One Vending truck


One trash truck


Covered concrete floor structure on the north property line


Equipment and appliances on the north property line:

• Scotsman icemaker and condenser
• Follett ice storage/dispensing bin
• Admiral freezer/refrigerator combo
• Kenmore upright freezer
• Bally walk-in freezer

Chest freezer on covered porch attached to east side of main dwelling


Outdoor radio mounted on outbuilding


Surveillance cameras


All other unverified buildings, structures, vehicles, equipment, appliances, fixtures, parts stocks, inventories, and detritus currently or formerly used in the nonconforming uses

- - - - - - - - -

.

The BDG's: All Evil Eyes, Ill Wills (and Big Mouths)

.

The following letter has gone on record prior to the proposed Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) session [voluntary mediation] on Pearl Harbor Day, December 7, 2010. Because I can think of no instance wherein Lyin' Lynda or Ravaged Red have demonstrated one iota of good faith since November 13, 1987, my hopes for resolution short of Summary Judgment range from slim to none.

- - - - -

My memo to my attorney requesting the letter above:
October 22, 2010

...

Please send a letter to the counsel for defendants, Lynda Allen and Theresa Brassey, demanding that their CCD surveillance cameras be removed. This action is similar to the earlier letter of demand that the nuisance outdoor yard radio be removed.

Beginning October 11, 2010, comes the defendants’ latest intrusion - CCD surveillance cameras, which represents Lynda Allen's middle finger in the air. The cameras were placed to observe both sides of the property line fence, not the defendants’ side alone. The only purpose discernible from the cameras’ placements is to continue the annoyance of the plaintiff and to daily project the defendants’ ill will onto my yard, my home, and my life. The cameras must be removed forthwith; else the presumption of good faith in mediation will be nullified.

Recitation of prior actions: The all-day/all-night noise from their illegal TLC Catering business was an insufferable intrusion onto plaintiff’s property. After serving the nuisance lawsuit on the defendants, within weeks they installed an outdoor radio speaker, closely on their side of the property line fence, in a retaliatory addition to, and continuation of, the business noise intrusion. After the cessation of the catering business a few months later (February 2010 and still not admitted by the defendants) relieved part of the problem, the outdoor radio nuisance continues fourteen hours a day, seven days a week. The defendants’ malicious use of the radio has resulted in many police calls and a “disturbing the peace” infraction. The still unresolved radio nuisance was added to the original lawsuit through an amended pleading.

The continued actions and non-responses of defendants, Lynda Allen and Theresa Brassey, nearly approach those of Catherine Cass in the attached unpublished California Court of Appeals opinion from 2008, having the aspects of a permanent nuisance.

Sincerely yours,
...

Attachment: Wallace v. Cass, G036490, Court of Appeals of California, Fourth Appellate District, Division Three, March 10, 2008.

.

Naked Came She Into The World...

.

(answer at bottom of post)

... and, because of her unremitting perversity and her obtuse, foot-dragging blockade of all efforts to remedy her nuisance, she left me no alternative but to practice tough love on her.

She could have relocated her catering truck & commissary business to a legal property and likely continued it for many more years (stoned or otherwise.) But, no... instead she chose to take early "medicinal marijuana" retirement and shut the business down.

Of course, publicly she claims the economy did her in. Privately she bends every stranger's ear (as in: yard sale visitors) with her life history and the biggest sob story ever - her version - that she has to move away because her despicable, evil neighbor is:

• harrassing her by spying on her (midnight business operations, icemaker noise nuisance, yard radio nuisance), and
• calling the cops on her for every little thing (loud yard radio, no building permits, too many dogs, unsecured marijuana, dead cars), and
• maintaining a lawsuit against her for her "grandfathered" business (not grandfathered, illegal mobile home, illegal business use in zone, illegal business expansion, noise nuisance, etc.)

"Poor little me! Why is he doing this to me? I'm a good neighbor. (Just ask the people of Tracy)" the little lamb continually bleats in her assumed plaintive tones.

Pish!*

Truth can stand repetition; repetition, however, cannot make a lie into truth.
If her story had a grain of truth in it, she would be offering hard evidence of "grandfathered" status (ie., pre-annexation County of San Joaquin documentation.)

If her story had a grain of truth in it, she would be able to demonstrate to code enforcement or the police that she was in compliance with whatever charge.

If her story had a grain of truth in it, she would have petitioned for a harrassment protective order against me.

What she does know is that City of Manteca officials are so slack in their job performance that the only proofs and surveillance to be had are what I gather myself.

What she does know is that she hasn't a legal leg to stand on and her illegal business use is going down, as are all her other illegalities.

What she does know is:

• I am not buckling under to her shrill, strident, oft-repeated falsehoods, and
• I am not going away, and
• I am sick and tired of her lies and deceit, her noise, her lawlessness, her arrogance, and all of her other [not!] endearing qualities.

Kicking and cursing and making all sorts of other retaliatory noise and spreading all sorts of false gossip [false gossip? Sorry for the redundancy...], this sickly, mouthy, streetworn pish peddler is finally tucking tail and slinking away.

Slink faster!

And don't let the gate slam shut on your tail! (Wait! On second thought...)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Naked came she into the world... and she will leave this corner of it
stripped and spanked.

.
.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* pish (interj) an exclamation of impatience or contempt; (vb) to make this exclamation at someone or something.

.

NFH Recidivism*

.

(Image by Steve Cox)

Oh, yesss!... Mr. Cox has captured the essential, empty natures of the Barefoot Dirty Girls. The likenesses and relationships are nearly perfect. [Note: Requested minor changes before purchase: (1) The Alpha Female here is depicted larger than the others. Could you, perhaps, physically stunt the dirty blonde to 4½ - 5 feet? And more gnome-like?; (2) Is it possible to make the redhead "wider", without losing the look of gauntness?; (3) Turn the green hair grey and put a little "pooch" in the tummy; and, (4) Put the Alpha Female and green/grey/hair in sports bras!]

. . .

Small habits well pursued betimes

May reach the dignity of crimes.

Hannah More

. . .

As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

Proverbs 26:11

. . .

Wouldn't you know it? The BDGs, who like dogs have pissed all over  "marked" their territory by playing a yard radio daily from 07:00 hrs to bedtime, and insistently maintain their folly, have decided they can again afford to ramp up their nuisance.

Since the weekend of May 15-16, the neighbors have been entertaining a foreign language-speaking, two-man construction crew, and accompanying their work with the strains of Mega 100.1 FM, KQOD, Stockton. The "happy" sounds of power saws, hammers, scraping shovels, and the cycling of (icemaker-sounding) air compressors for pneumatic stapling and nailing have overlaid the radio for over a month. The dilatory** construction schedule appears to be a combination of several factors: lack of permits, lack of drawings (buying lumber one piece at a time), lack of brains among all parties, among many other items. When the "overlooked" [Lynda's favorite word] porch rebuild permit was finally secured, the re-roof project was suspended and the dogs returned to their vomit, so to speak. The overriding objective, of course, is the neighbors' tenuously legal ability to stretch another noise nuisance over the longest possible period of time.

Tuesday of this week, however, the owners experimented with... {wait for it...} turning the radio volume up! So it was that at 16:42 hrs the decibel level jumped until bedtime. Of course, they are sending the crew away later and later as construction continues until dark, as a forthcoming chart clearly shows. Thank God the summer solstice is only days away - and the daylight get shorter and shorter.

Thursday, the radio was re-tuned at 11:38 hrs to a foreign language station and the volume cranked crazy high, enough to be heard over the power tools being employed, including the BDGs' leaf blower (or string trimmer, or whatever-the-hell other power equipment they use to maintain their gravel business yard.) How can one take a lunch time nap with all that racket? If you have ever thought how irritating the play-by-play announcer is at any sporting event, just try listening to one who doesn't speak the official language of this country and is broadcasting his monotonous tripe to a worldwide audience. At 13:50 hrs the station was reset to Mega 100.1 FM but the volume was not reduced.

But for the reason of the BDGs' stinkin' thinkin' outlined above (and documented long ago), I can handle reasonable construction sounds. On the other hand, lest the BDGs think I will allow them to broadcast to the neighborhood the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) World Cup Fútbol games from now through July 21st, it's only fair to warn them that I consider ANYTHING coming from the yard radio a disturbance of my peace and will be dealt with according to California's Penal Code, Section 415 (2).

. . .

But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb,

The dog is turned to his own vomit again;

and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.

2 Peter 2:22

. . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* recidivism (n)  gen.  a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior ; spec.  a negatively connoted repeated relapsing into unhealthy, criminal, nuisance, or delinquent behavior.
(v) a tendency to recidivate.
(adj) re·cidi·vistic, re·cidi·vous
[Recidivism is a common term used when speaking of the revolving door of a "Corrections" facility. From recidivist, one who recidivates, from French récidiviste, from récidiver, to relapse, from Medieval Latin recidvre, from Latin recidvus, falling back, from recidere, to fall back : re-, re- + cadere, to fall; see kad- in Indo-European roots.]

** dilatory (adj) 1 : tending or intended to cause delay 2 : characterized by procrastination : tardy Intentionally delaying (someone or something); slow or tardy; intended to cause delay, gain time, or defer decision
[15th century, Middle English, from Anglo-French dilatorie, Late Latin dilatorius, from Latin differre (past participle dilatus) to postpone, differ]
.

Tactical Retreat as a Strategic Offense

A whole week went by with the yard radio magic rock speaker turned away from my house and the volume set really low - until this morning.

The night and morning temperatures were pleasant enough to sleep with the bedroom window open - until 7:07 this morning. Upon being assaulted yet again by the act of Lynda, Theresa or Corky manually turning on the yard radio, I slammed my window shut. One of the Trinity gleefully added injury to injury by increasing the volume and turning the speaker my direction again.

Do they think to "hide" by waiting until no one (in authority) appears to be watching (or, listening) before turning it back up? Please forgive my suspicion and skepticism, but factoring in their history of deceit, lying, abrasiveness, intimidating, and outright scoffing at laws their one-week retreat convinces me this scaled back low-level harrassment is merely a ploy to "fly under the radar" for a while.

For the first five or six years of T, L & C's illegal operation on 810 Fishback St, their tactic of "laying low" - not calling attention to themselves - was mainly how they evaded detection and regulation by the City of Manteca. This period also established the "long time on the property" argument, which they parlayed into the "grandfathered from the county" lie that they successfully perpetrated on the Manteca Planning Department to obtain their "free pass."

Too bad for them I have recordings and photographs of the yard radio, and police reports of their malicious usages of it, which establish their cagey, cynical dealings in this matter.

More proof that T, L or C get their little rock off deliberately? Same day; lunch time; speaker turned completely away (can't see the little circle on the front.) And, never fear, the very next time the magic rock senses any disturbance in the Force, it will come spinning back around into offensive position.

Keep the really good, noisy stuff coming, ladies.


.
p.s. Everyone knows the old saying, "Owners tend to look like their dogs and their rock speakers."

.

Fungible Neighbors, Fungible Lawsuits

Fungible - the property of a good or a commodity whose individual units are capable of mutual substitution. The concept is stated colloquially as, "Seen one, you seen 'em all." Examples of highly fungible commodities are crude oil, wheat, orange juice, precious metals, currencies... and the residents of 810 Fishback Street in Manteca, California.

The three women who haunt the neighboring property are highly fungible. (The word reminds me of what fungi do - they decompose organic matter.)

Their shared characteristics and observable commonalities are frighteningly uncanny. Take, for example, the ritual of turning on the yard radio promptly at 7:00 a.m.  A few weeks ago it was Lynda who shuffled from house to outbuilding, in slippers and robe, to turn on the radio and point the speaker my direction before returning to the house; later it was Corky's fingers on the knobs.

This morning it was Theresa's turn. Sure enough, at 7:00 sharp, she made a beeline from house to outbuilding. A few seconds later, Mega 100.1 FM came on and played loudly on the yard radio. A few seconds after that, Theresa headed back to the house... but she saw something unusual, arrested her forward motion, her mouth opened and very unladylike language came out! She came to the fence, couldn't see over it (see the "fence extenders" they put up?), and rattled it while barking challenges. In short, she acted just like Rufus and friend. (Theresa has come unhinged over dogs before...)

(The picture above was taken on Easter Sunday about 1300 hrs. The neighbors were off screwing around somewhere all day, making sure to turn the radio ON just before leaving. Notice the speaker's orientation.)

Now, when my neighbors are really mad at me, they set up their ladder so they can see over their own "fence extenders" and they turn the speaker towards my house. The picture below was taken this morning, two days after Easter.

I know, I know... I've covered all this before. But the excitement didn't end yet. Oh, no. I really stirred the hornets' nest.

Like one of her pressure cookers building up steam, Theresa's pressure relief valve didn't take long to pop off. Three-and-one-half minutes after turning the radio on, she turned the speaker towards my house (above pic) and turned the volume up to maximum. ----> Her orgastic release lasted twenty-seven seconds. <---- After she got her pressure valve screwed back on straight, her next *and brightest* idea was that maximum volume was not her brightest idea... and she turned the volume back down from ear-splitting to merely objectionably loud and sent out an SOS to the Alpha female, who is the Mother Protector... and the Father Protector.

(This is now the second time, four days apart, that they have sent a "burst" of Mega-high volume over the fence. Good thing I have these deliberate outbursts recorded because police and courts might find this ultra-childish behavior unbelievable as coming from 57-year-old women.)

As I pulled out of my gate to leave for work, the two of them pulled up in front of my driveway in Corky's little silver Ford and turned it around in the street. Lynda's window was down and she waved and shouted naughty things as they drove away the opposite direction. Lynda's only intelligible burble was, "... see you in court!"

Really? See me in court? Then why have they and their "free" insurance company lawyer been so non-responsive during discovery? I was beginning to feel they had no desire to go to court. If she was referring to the civil case, that means she will likely not agee to the Proposed Stipulated Judgment sent over last week to Mr. Mark D. McCauley, Esq., and we will indeed proceed with the suit. I understand that Farmers Insurance has pulled the indemnity and representation plug on them, so will they now proceed in propria persona, or pro per, - a Latin term meaning “on one's own behalf”? The old, but updated, saying goes, “The woman who represents herself, has a fool for a client.”

But we already know the referenced foolish client (or, those foolish clients) and I'm ready for her or them (fungible.)

Really? "... see you in court!"? If she was referring to some criminal matter, I say, "Bring it on, Babe!" But she'll have a helluva time selling some public prosecutor on her case. She should know by now that I have her, or the fungible Theresa, nailed down regarding their nuisance radio - which radio THEY put into play on the nuisance lawsuit table last June 2009.

The Babe's mouth is running again. Bring it on! This whole thing could win them an adverse judgment in both the civil suit AND in a potential misdemeanor charge.

- - - - - - -

Clear and Convincing Evidence of Malicious Intent

O.K., they missed Concept #2 also.

Something really stirred up the hornets over the weekend because promptly at 7:00 a.m. this morning - and I mean on the dot at 0700 hrs - the magic rock once again reoriented itself in my direction and began spewing its louder-than-usual and always-obnoxious klaxon. (It's a wonder their dogs don't go deaf. hmmm... I wonder if this qualifies as animal abuse?) Anyway, the pic below was taken at 0810 hrs, just prior to heading off to work.

This next pic was taken, same day, from the same location as the one above, at 1333 hrs during lunchtime. Note the speaker has been turned about 90 degrees opposite its morning position.

I find it extraordinary that their Farmers Insurance homeowners insurance company defense attorney ( Thing #2 or Thing #1 ) must have told Hip & Hop, "Go ahead and really, REALLY irritate the guy who's suing you for noise nuisance and maybe - just maybe - he'll succumb to our paltry offers at settlement." If he did, he's the dumbest lawyer ever. That's like giving sugar candy to a child just before bedtime and expecting him to drift quietly off to sleep.

But then again, this legal beagle on the Farmers leash could be the sharpest lawyer ever. If that's the case, then he and his employer have the absolutely dumbest policyholders/clients ever. We all know, given their modus operandi* over months and years, that these ancient hash-slingers are truly the sharpest cookies in the cutlery drawer... yes sir, razor sharp brownies... sugary cutting edges...

"G'night, John Boy."
"G'night, Greene."
"G'night, Super Freak."

{humming... Super Freak, She's a very kinky girl, The kind you don't take home to mother.}


- - - - - - - - -
* Modus operandi of T,L&C - noisy midnight operations, illegal business operations, illegal mobile home, don't know what a law is, practiced liars, redneck humor (sorry for the redundancy), can't count dogs, cats and chickens, drive big, greasy, smelly catering trucks, collect and abandon obsolete business equipment, put icemaker on neighbor's fenceline, put radio speaker on neighbor's fenceline in same place as icemaker, devoid of social skills, etc.

(taken from http://www.answers.com/topic/modus-operandi) [Latin, Method of working.] A term used by law enforcement authorities to describe the particular manner in which a crime is committed.

The term modus operandi is most commonly used in criminal cases. It is sometimes referred to by its initials, M.O. The prosecution in a criminal case does not have to prove modus operandi in any crime. However, identifying and proving the modus operandi of a crime can help the prosecution prove that it was the defendant who committed the crime charged.

Modus operandi evidence is helpful to the prosecution if the prosecution has evidence of crimes committed by the defendant that are similar to the crime charged. The crimes need not be identical, but the prosecution must make a strong and persuasive showing of similarity between the crime charged and the other crimes. The prosecution may introduce evidence from prior or subsequent crimes to prove modus operandi only if the other crimes share peculiar and distinctive features with the crime charged. The features must be uncommon and rarely seen in other crimes, and they must be so distinct that they can be recognized as the handiwork of the same person.

For example, assume that a defendant is on trial for armed robbery. In the robbery the defendant is alleged to have brandished a pistol and ordered the victim to relinquish cash and valuables. Assume further that the defendant has committed armed robbery in the past by brandishing a pistol and demanding cash and valuables. A prosecutor might be able to introduce the evidence into trial to show the defendant's motive, intent, or state of mind, or to identify the weapon used in the crime. However, the prosecutor could not argue to the judge or jury that the robberies were so similar as to demonstrate that it was the defendant who committed that particular robbery, because it is not unusual for a robber to brandish a pistol and demand cash and valuables in the course of an armed robbery.

Now assume that a defendant is charged with robbing a movie theater that was showing the movie Showgirls and that the defendant was wearing a glittering, flamboyant Las Vegas-style cabaret costume during the robbery. Assume further that the prosecution has evidence that the defendant, while dressed as a Las Vegas dancer, has robbed other movie theaters showing the movie Showgirls. The prosecution could introduce this evidence into trial to prove modus operandi and show that it was the defendant who committed the crime, because the method of armed robbery used in the crimes was both similar and distinctive.

When offering evidence to prove modus operandi, the prosecution does not have to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the other crimes occurred. Rather, the prosecution simply must present sufficient evidence to show that the act took place and was committed by the defendant.



(p.s. I soooo love the mental image of T,L&C dressed in "glittering, flamboyant Las Vegas-style cabaret costume" while cooking in their MFPU and peddling their schlock to the masses! Of course, the pictured women are the right age, twice as tall, and have the faces and other attributes necessary for employment in the showgirl industry. ed.)

Pushing Back Against Retaliation

I delivered this memo to my attorney last week.
- - - - - - - - - - -

Date: February 25, 2010
To: _____________, Attorney
From: Richard Behling
Re: Case # 39-2009-00212085-CU-OR-STK

Please serve the Defendants, on my behalf, a letter demanding cessation of their retaliatory noise measure employed against me. Shortly after filing the private nuisance lawsuit against them, the Defendants mounted an outdoor radio speaker high on the on the wall of the outbuilding just over the fence and play the radio all day, every day.

The facts that support Defendants’ actions being deliberate retaliation are these:

1. There was no radio speaker in this corner of their yard on Wednesday, March 25, 2009. (picture #1)

2. Lawsuit was served on Defendants on Memorial Day, Monday, May 25, 2009 (proof of service).

3. On Thursday, June 4, 2009, the Defendants’ yard radio was played at 3:00 a.m. loudly enough to wake me. The speaker was located somewhere in the middle of their yard. A 27-second digital video/audio clip of that disturbance is included in Plaintiff’s Response to Demand for Production. (Digital Media\Yard Pics\MVI_1204_04Jun_3am music)

4. On or before June 30, 2009, the outdoor speaker appeared in the corner yard sitting atop plastic milk crates and pointed my direction. (picture #2, included in Plaintiff’s Response to Demand for Production. (Digital Media\Yard Pics\IMG_1298_TURN UP THE RADIO)

5. On or before July 24, 2009, the speaker was mounted high on the outbuilding wall and most often rotated to point my direction. (picture #3 and picture #4)

6. The radio is on all day, every day forward, generally beginning around 7:00 a.m. in contravention of the 8:00 a.m. limit imposed in the Manteca Municipal Code, Residential Noise Ordinance. (MMC, Chapter 9.52.030 and 9.52.040)

7. Major retaliation occurred on Saturday and Sunday, February 6th and 7th, 2010, when the radio was turned on loudly before 6:00 a.m. each day. (Manteca Police Department incident report # 2010-3600)

8. The next weekend, Saturday and Sunday, February 13th and 14th, the radio was turned on around 7:00 a.m. (Manteca Police Department incident report # 2010- 4288, printed copy of noise ordinance supplied to responding officer)

9. The next Sunday, February 21st, the radio was turned on very loudly around 8:00 a.m. to protest the previous two Sunday police calls. (picture #5)

10. Defendants’ return to 7:00 a.m. radio startups beginning Monday, February 22nd.

In truth, this retaliation is a replication of the noise nuisance caused by the icemaker. The speaker is mounted in virtually the same noise corridor as the icemaker [ed., see icemaker's condenser in upper left corner of picture #4] and for months served to ADD to the noise. Whenever the icemaker does not function, the radio serves to keep the noise going.

In light of this replacement nuisance purpose of the Defendants, I am seeking removal of the entire outdoor radio system on the grounds that it’s use is “so prolonged or unnatural or unusual in [its] use, time or place as to cause or contribute to the unnecessary and unreasonable discomfort of any persons within the neighborhood from which said noises emanate or which interfere with the peace and comfort of residents or their guests, … or which may detrimentally or adversely affect such residences….” (MMC 9.52.030 Prohibited Noises - General Standard)

I want this letter served on the Defendants and their attorney of record under the referenced case number.

Attachments:
Pictures #1 - #5
Manteca PD Incident Report #2010-3600
MMC 9.52

Hey, Mike... Happy Valentine's Day!

Nice lady, that Lynda, so gentle and kind. All sweetness and smiles and cooperation this Sunday morning...

...after I again called you out to witness our ongoing dispute. Yessir, she's a peach, that one... One weekend running ice cold and telling you not to return, ever. Last weekend she claimed that Manteca's noise ordinance gave her the right to play her music beginning at 7:00 o'clock in the morning. Pursuant to that bit of misinformation, made up in her own or her friends' empty heads, sure enough at 06:57 a.m. on Saturday and at 06:52 a.m. on Sunday, she turned on her stereo with the all-weather, outdoor speaker pointed at my bedroom window. Well, at least your visit last week bought an hour of quiet from 6 o'clock to 7 o'clock.

This weekend Lynda turned on all the ingratiating* "charm" she is capable of mustering when someone she perceives as more powerful is around. She agreed to "take care" of something worked out between her and you and, in starkly vivid contrast to her usual parting shots, hollered out for the entire neighborhood, "Hey, Mike... Happy Valentine's Day!" How thoughtful of her.

Or masterful manipulation? (I find it intensely rude when a child presumes to address an adult by his first name without leave.) Her true colors were on display last week when she was caught off-guard. I am still convinced that had anyone else purchased my house, they would be Lynda's enemy - more especially if anything concerning TLC's illegal operation came up. On the other hand, her face changes for Rex Osborn and code enforcement officers. She wears the same mask for city council. But her double face was revealed to you, officer, between last weekend and this weekend. (I'm guessing her roach coach customers only see her "smiley" face and put up with her snake oil banter while forking over their money.)

Let's hope your second visit, on consecutive weekends, buys another hour of quiet - until 8:00 a.m. - which is what Ordinance 1374 really says. (Of course, Lynda's never met a law she didn't think didn't apply to her.)

So, officer, I'm sorry about giving you such a crappy Valentine this beautiful Sunday morning, with smiles on the outside and #### on the inside. You see, her affected smile vanished when you left.

Later in the day, while I was out spraying weeds in my back yard, she peeped through the lattice - she's the one who put it up on top the fence! - and commented, "Hey, freak! Better get those weeds up... or maybe the fire department will cite you." Do you suppose she was still thinking of this morning's visit? I certainly hope so!

- - - - - - -
* ingratiating: intended or adopted in order to gain favor: flattering

A Dr. Demento Super Bowl

Super Bowl Sunday, February 7, 2010

Shaving Cream

{Cue the / Oom, Pah, Pah / Oom, Pah, Pah / polka music.}

The running back takes a hand off from the quarterback...
He gets a block - ohhhhhh, what a hit!
He's out in the clear. He's going all the way!
But he steps in a big pile of shhh...

{refrain}

...aving cream.
Be nice and clean.
Shave every day
And you'll always look keen.

(Shaving Cream, third verse. Dr. Demento with the Benny Bell Orchestra; Benny Bell estate.)

Pretty cool way to introduce the events of the day's dawn, eh? The lyrics tie in both the Super Bowl game and what Lynda Allen had for breakfast - her foot that had stepped in a big pile of shh... aving cream.

In the darkness of 06:06 this Sunday morning, I am awakened by and treated to a Mega 100.1 radio program from across the neighbors' fence discussing professional barbershop music. By the time I stumbled outside a few minutes later - in the cold and dark, in my robe and slippers - the man, who obviously sung baritone or bass, was joined by the rest of his group for a little musical demo. The digital video clip of the outdoor speaker is too dark to see anything, but the audio comes out just fine. (Really, who wouldn't trade away some sleepytime for some barbershop harmonization at six o'clock on a Sunday morning?) Anyway, the date and timestamps on the video clip and the flash pictures of the speaker tell the necessary story.

After documenting the disturbance, I called the Manteca Police Department at 0618 hrs and requested a report be made. With two consecutive pre-dawn violations by Theresa, Lynda and/or Corky, I wanted to nip this whole new level of retaliation in the bud. (In television's "Criminal Minds" vernacular, "This serial killer is devolving quickly!") MPD Dispatch offered an officer response and I accepted. When the officer arrived, his first disarming comment was, "I know better than to ask how you are doing." We covered the recent history and pattern of temporal encroachment (time slippage). He said he would speak with the neighbors and asked their names. I replied that the short one, who will insist on doing all the talking, is Lynda Allen.

The high point of my day occurred when the officer returned in a couple minutes and began with a slight head shake, saying, "I feel sorry for you... living next door to them..." That comment alone was a game-winning two point conversion, a huge success. He proceeded to recount the front porch interview, which was hilariously entertaining in its content, if not in its original delivery by our neighborhood actress. (She really needs to watch more TV, particularly "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth-Grader?") I indicated that all I needed was a police report and I could take it from there - inside the existing noise nuisance lawsuit.

- - - - - -

I obtained the police report. Here is the note made by the officer:

02/07/2010 07:55:30 Officer xxxxxx Narrative: RP [reporting party] SHOWED ME AN OUTDOOR SPEAKER WHICH WAS PLAYING MUSIC MOUNTED ABOUT 15 TO 20 FEET AWAY FROM HIS HOME. RP STATES THE MUSIC HAS BEEN COMING ON IN EARLY MORNING HOURS WHICH WAKES HIM, TODAY AT 5:30AM. RP BELIEVES MUSIC IS RETALATORY FOR CIVIL LAWSUIT THAT HAS BEEN FILED. I MET WITH NEIGHBOR IN HER SLIPPERS AND ROBE WHO TOLD ME SHE WAS LEGAL SINCE IT WAS AFTER 7 AM AND SHE WAS GOING OUTSIDE TO DO YARD WORK AND LIKES TO LISTEN TO MUSIC WHILE SHE WAS OUTSIDE. THEN SHE TOLD ME THAT I NEEDED TO STOP COMING TO HER HOME BECAUSE THE NEIGHBOR CALLS. DOCUMENTATION REQUESTED ON THIS CALL

- - - - - - - -

Comments on certain aspects, supplemented by my conversation with the officer:

1. Lynda answered the door at 0745 hrs in a house robe and slippers. When asked why she had the radio on so early, she first tried a noise ordinance defense? She doesn't know her xxx from her elbow. The mere suggestion to her in March of 2008 that there was a noise ordinance, she took to be a threat and tried verbally to rip my head off. Now two years later she is pretending to know what the ordinance says. (It's 8:00 a.m., honey bunch... and even then subject to "disturbing the peace" common law provisions.) See the MPD website for a discussion of disturbing the peace and its remedies.

2. Lynda, in her robe, claimed she was going outside to do yardwork. Of course, by this time the radio had been on for one hour, forty minutes already - since before it was light outside - and even earlier, at 0552 hrs, yesterday morning. (She must really like working in her yard - in the cold and dark - in her bathrobe.  ;-) )

3. The officer didn't buy her story and asked again why the radio was on when it was still dark. Lynda wasn't able to bullshit her way out of this lie. Caught red-handed, she still wasn't about to admit the radio speaker was solely to harrass her neighbor and she lost her cool. She "lit into" the officer and called her neighbor a liar, among other things.

4. The officer told her she was not helping her case at all by this rant. She told him not to visit anymore and terminated the interview.

5. The time was now close to 0800 hrs and the radio remained on for the rest of the day, or at least until 1500 hrs when I left for the Super Bowl game at friends, returning at 1900 hrs to a quiet yard.

6. Question: If Lynda likes to listen to music while she is outside, why did she mount the speaker in an unused corner of her yard and point the speaker AWAY from where they do "yardwork", a euphemism for servicing their catering trucks? Answer: Lynda's intent to harrass is unmistakeable in the timing, placement, positioning, and constant operation of this outdoor radio speaker. This is what I see when I look over the fence.

- - - - - - - -

They're Coming To Take Me Away, HA-HAAA!

{accompaniment - ka-Thump, ka-Thump, ka-Thump, ka-Thumop foot stomping and tambourine}

{first refrain}

They're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!
They're coming to take me away, Ho-ho! He-he! Ha-haaa!
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time,
And I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats,
And they're coming to take me away, Ha-haaa!

(Napolean XIV, aka Jerry Samuels; Music Sales Corp. Included on The Best of Dr. Demento CD.)