Monday, December 14, 2009

Christmas Came Early!

I could scarcely believe my eyes when I approached my driveway yesterday afternoon. The travel trailer parked in the side yard across the street was gone! It was then that I recalled the blue pickup parked in my next door neighbors' driveway when I departed four hours earlier. I swung my head in the other direction and... Jackpot! Damn, did I call that play, or what?

This is truly the best Christmas present I've received from my nasty, noisy neighbors in the three years I have had the misfortune of living next to them - and they delivered it on a silver platter, no less! There it is, a big travel trailer, backed nicely and neatly into a spot undoubtedly used a few years back (see the chart) by one of the caterers extraordinaire now-departed MFPU's {may they forever rest in peace.}

Now C, L, T can relive their glory days. If they squint, the travel trailer could look like a third MFPU lined up with the other two and, with Bonnie Jean Carson’s truck, they can reminisce about operating FOUR trucks from their property, from 1992 to 2003. Boy, howdy! They sure had everyone buffaloed - the city, the old neighbors – no one could touch them! Yes, those were the days… {sigh}

Until that bastard moved in next door… {* dream bubble pops! *}

Still, in order to celebrate the festive entry of the Trojan Horse trailer, they had Rosa the Chain-Smoking Riveter over, cranked up the yard radio to broadcast a Raiders game my direction, then retreated indoors to escape the rain and to Par-tay! (I’m sure their rationale is that if the radio is loud enough outside, they can then hear the game inside the building.)

Whoa, mister, - you say - have you gone golliwompus on us?! How can this be a good thing? Another piece of literal trailer trash wedged onto the property so as to hide from your view the illegal commissary, the grease dump, the trash truck, the collection of inoperative and abandoned vehicles leaking petrochemicals onto the ground, and the remaining operating catering truck? (Wherever do they have room for the other storage trailer, the walk-in freezer, Lynda's big-ass pickup truck, Theresa's SUV [or is that Teressa?], and Corky's sporty little car used for process server avoidance?)

OK, point given for that last nonitalisized part. The home-in-a-box would be much better parked in the same space now occupied by the icemaker because an empty trailer MAKES NO NOISE! But I fantasize too much...

Of course this is a good thing. A great thing. This is marvelous! Have you never trapped monkeys before? First, you put food that monkeys really like in a container with an opening just large enough for the monkey's hand to squeeze inside. When she grabs the food she cannot remove both the food and her hand from the container. Often, even a well-fed but greedy monkey will not release the food to avoid getting caught. Her hand is stuck in the cookie jar, so to speak. The same principle applies to other small-minded animals - some human. Eventually they have to let go.

Here's another analogy from the world of chess: Knight to B4. Check. Sacrifice a lawyer or a code enforcement officer. Knight to C2. Checkmate that femi-nazi queen.

1 comment:

The Manteca Response said...

I think I'm gonna file a complaint with Manteca code enforcement about this. The damn ho's keep that radio going all the time, eh? Pour that concrete ho and don't forget the city permit to do it, too!