The Return of Cork-Screwed's Old Trailer

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The return of "Cork-Screwed’s old trailer,"
last seen being hauled away on Saturday, May 21st, at 5:46 p.m.

Yes, indeed-ee,

[55]
They came back, the old haunts, looking gray, looking gaunt,
With their hangers-on, tough red-necks all,
For Cork-Screwed’s old trailer, that neighborhood failure,
To set up for the next small town’s fall.

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But, like dogs returning to their vomit... like belching, bloating, gut-wrenching, diarrhea-producing indigestion from one of Rotund Red's TLC Catering truck burritos... the Wilderness Advantage travel trailer is back. Because the last reputed owner was the third-wheel Barefoot Dirty Girl, Cork-Screwed (aka, Cornelia Jane "Corky" Green), its return to storage on this property is another proof of Lyin' Lynda's sham property trade to evade consequences of her/their illegal occupations.

Despite Cork-Screwed's monstrosity being unlicensed for at least four-and-a-half years (2007 through May 21, 2011), someone managed to cough up enough bucks to finally make it road legal in June of this year. (Maybe Bubba bought it? Lotsa drug money floating around...)

Rather than being parked to showcase the BDG's extensive collection of leftover trailer trash inoperable vehicles littering the property, it is parked to hide a broken down vending truck and an inoperable Mobile Food Preparation Unit (MFPU, or, roach coach) from the at-last-defunct, illegal TLC Catering operations.

How is one supposed to make out the FOR SALE signs in the windows of the trashed trucks?

Here's how the boneyard looked last Easter '11 - vehicles are just rearranged.

More importantly, does this free dumping ground continued storage for live and dead vehicles mean that Cork-Screwed, Resectioned Red, and Lyin' Lynda are close enough to Manteca to continually make reappearances at their Sierra High (c) Marijuana Cooperative Farm at 810 Fishback Street?

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(Bubba must be so proud to be so used...)

...
Oh, where were the boys
To use as my toys?
...

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Camels' Noses and the Travel Trailer Flim-Flam

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Hosea 8: 7  For they have sown the wind, and they shall reap the whirlwind: it hath no stalk: the bud shall yield no meal: if so be it yield, the strangers shall swallow it up. 


Life has a way of "rewarding" people in different ways. Saturday I went over to greet a woman and her husband who were visiting the property across the street from mine. Bonnie, who now lives in another state, was visiting family members - and the home where she grew up. She stopped by to inspect the cleanup work recently done to prepare the two-acre parcel for sale. We had a most interesting chat, especially when the subjects turned to:

• the dog (Cody Finds a New Home , Cody Returns For a Visit),
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• the travel trailer (Shim Sham Shimmy , Christmas Came Early),
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• and other debris which used to infest  occupy the front of Bonnie's place.

It seems our very own, home-grown-in-the-neighborhood, Florence and Her Merry Troupe of Nightingale Nurses had inveigled* the widowed owner (Bonnie's mother) to allow them to "place" their dog in her front yard for protection and allow them to "store" their travel trailer in her driveway to give the place a "lived in" appearance. (Probably because they couldn't cram one more big metal box onto their own half-acre business yard (actually an R-1 residential lot) without causing vehicular gridlock! That would be bad for business...)

Anyway, last October, Bonnie called and asked the Barefoot Dirty Girls to move the travel trailer. She was assured it would be taken care of... but it wasn't. (No big surprise to those who know the BDGs.)

I was unaware of Bonnie's dealings when, on the last day of last November, I filed a code enforcement complaint on the travel trailer at 785 Fishback for noncompliance with a city ordinance. I knew the problem would eventually go home to roost where it ought; my only hope was that the owner of 785 Fishback (Bonnie) would not be too inconvenienced. This back story has to be the reason for the surprisingly fast code enforcement response.

After the December 1st inspection (Shim Sham Shimmy), a Notice of Violation was issued on December 7th. Indeed, Bonnie's mom got the notice - with its imminent fine in the event of noncompliance. Bonnie called Manteca police and code enforcement and got one story, then called the BDGs and got a different story - and an insolent hang-up by the alpha female. In an immediate followup call, Bonnie delivered an ultimatum - either move the trailer NOW, or it will be towed. On December 13th, the homeless travel trailer was moved across the street to 810 Fishback, to proudly take up residence alongside the myriad cast-offs and detritus** of a failed business, and other nonconforming uses maintained by the ex-T-uLCers.

And here's some redneck humor for you - the BDGs also demanded $3,000 for the gravel they dumped across the street to park their travel trailer on. Three thousand dollars would buy thirty-three cubic yards of crushed basalt. A local price for crushed basalt (delivered) is $90.95 per cubic yard. Five yards are around $450. What shysters!... Go pound rocks into sand!
 
Also during the recent property cleanup, some stuff in a shed started going into dumpsters - until the BDGs came screaming across the street and claiming ownership of the junk. They were told the items would be stacked in the carport and they could reclaim it from there; anything remaining would be tossed.
 
As the modern-day story unfolded, two things came to mind. The first was a statement Lynda made March 3, 2009 in city council meeting.

Ms. Allen: ... I've been there so long and actually I took care of the... the owners of that house we took care of 'til they passed away. And then the daughter come in, and somehow they...

She made it appear she was taking care of the owners and property at 786 Fishback as well as the owner and property at 785 Fishback. (See? The neighborhood Florence Nightingale. But don't believe it - she uses and abuses people to her own ends.)
 
The second thing that came to mind is a very ancient tale: 

The Camel's Nose In The Tent

One cold night, as an Arab sat in his tent, a camel gently thrust his nose under the flap and looked in. "Master," he said, "let me put my nose in your tent. It's cold and stormy out here." "By all means," said the Arab, "and welcome" as he turned over and went to sleep.

A little later the Arab awoke to find that the camel had not only put his nose in the tent but his head and neck also. The camel, who had been turning his head from side to side, said, "I will take but little more room if I place my forelegs within the tent. It is difficult standing out here." "Yes, you may put your forelegs within," said the Arab, moving a little to make room, for the tent was small.

Finally, the camel said, "May I not stand wholly inside? I keep the tent open by standing as I do." "Yes, yes," said the Arab. "Come wholly inside. Perhaps it will be better for both of us." So the camel crowded in. The Arab with difficulty in the crowded quarters again went to sleep. When he woke up the next time, he was outside in the cold and the camel had the tent to himself.

 

Nahum 1: 3  The Lord is slow to anger, and great in power, and will not at all acquit the wicked: the Lord hath his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet.

 

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* inveigle [ɪnˈviːgəl] (verb)  to lead someone into a situation or persuade to do something by cleverness or trickery; cajole. Ex., to inveigle customers into spending more.

[from Old French avogler to blind, deceive, from avogle blind, from Medieval Latin "ab oculis" without eyes]


** detritus (noun) debris: the remains of something that has been destroyed or broken up;
loose material, such as stone fragments, silt, etc. that is worn away from rocks.

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Christmas Came Early!

I could scarcely believe my eyes when I approached my driveway yesterday afternoon. The travel trailer parked in the side yard across the street was gone! It was then that I recalled the blue pickup parked in my next door neighbors' driveway when I departed four hours earlier. I swung my head in the other direction and... Jackpot! Damn, did I call that play, or what?

This is truly the best Christmas present I've received from my nasty, noisy neighbors in the three years I have had the misfortune of living next to them - and they delivered it on a silver platter, no less! There it is, a big travel trailer, backed nicely and neatly into a spot undoubtedly used a few years back (see the chart) by one of the caterers extraordinaire now-departed MFPU's {may they forever rest in peace.}

Now C, L, T can relive their glory days. If they squint, the travel trailer could look like a third MFPU lined up with the other two and, with Bonnie Jean Carson’s truck, they can reminisce about operating FOUR trucks from their property, from 1992 to 2003. Boy, howdy! They sure had everyone buffaloed - the city, the old neighbors – no one could touch them! Yes, those were the days… {sigh}…

Until that bastard moved in next door… {* dream bubble pops! *}

Still, in order to celebrate the festive entry of the Trojan Horse trailer, they had Rosa the Chain-Smoking Riveter over, cranked up the yard radio to broadcast a Raiders game my direction, then retreated indoors to escape the rain and to Par-tay! (I’m sure their rationale is that if the radio is loud enough outside, they can then hear the game inside the building.)

Whoa, mister, - you say - have you gone golliwompus on us?! How can this be a good thing? Another piece of literal trailer trash wedged onto the property so as to hide from your view the illegal commissary, the grease dump, the trash truck, the collection of inoperative and abandoned vehicles leaking petrochemicals onto the ground, and the remaining operating catering truck? (Wherever do they have room for the other storage trailer, the walk-in freezer, Lynda's big-ass pickup truck, Theresa's SUV [or is that Teressa?], and Corky's sporty little car used for process server avoidance?)

OK, point given for that last nonitalisized part. The home-in-a-box would be much better parked in the same space now occupied by the icemaker because an empty trailer MAKES NO NOISE! But I fantasize too much...

Of course this is a good thing. A great thing. This is marvelous! Have you never trapped monkeys before? First, you put food that monkeys really like in a container with an opening just large enough for the monkey's hand to squeeze inside. When she grabs the food she cannot remove both the food and her hand from the container. Often, even a well-fed but greedy monkey will not release the food to avoid getting caught. Her hand is stuck in the cookie jar, so to speak. The same principle applies to other small-minded animals - some human. Eventually they have to let go.

Here's another analogy from the world of chess: Knight to B4. Check. Sacrifice a lawyer or a code enforcement officer. Knight to C2. Checkmate that femi-nazi queen.