“So what you’re saying is that I write poetry because underneath my mean callous heartless exterior I really just want to be loved,” he said. He paused, “Is that right?”
Ford laughed a nervous laugh. “Well, I mean, yes,” he said, “don’t we all, deep down, you know … er …”
The Vogon stood up. “No, well, you’re completely wrong,” he said, “I just write poetry to throw my mean callous heartless exterior into sharp relief. I’m going to throw you off the ship anyway. [ed: spaceship] Guard! Take the prisoners to number three airlock and throw them out!” (The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Douglas Adams)
|“Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it.”|
One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn’t be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was renowned for being amazingly clever and quite clearly was so—but not all the time, which obviously worried him, hence the act. He preferred people to be puzzled rather than contemptuous. This above all appeared to Trillian to be genuinely stupid, but she could no longer be bothered to argue about it. (Ibid)
The limerick* packs laughs anatomicalGershon Legman, who compiled the largest and most scholarly anthology, held that the true limerick as a folk form is always obscene, and cites similar opinions by Arnold Bennett and George Bernard Shaw. From a folkloric point of view, the form is essentially transgressive; violation of taboo is part of its function.
In space that is quite economical,
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean,
And the clean ones so seldom are comical.
*(pronounced "lim'rick" to preserve meter)
From Limerick on Wikipedia.
- - - - - - - - -
Like Trillian, I become extremely bored arguing against Lyin' Lynda's amazing cleverness and monumental stupidity. (Or, amazingly and monumentally stupid cleverness. See? It really doesn't matter how you mix the four words.) She is such an easy target because she constantly supplies all the insipid, tasteless, illegal, immoral, and stupefyingly moronic anecdotes to fill volumes. How any person can function like that on a daily basis is grounds for incredulity! I have been incredulous for four years now!!
It is not merely the boredom, but recognizing the rare opportunity of catching these neighbors and more than a few City of Manteca officials with their pants down (and their panties twisted in knots), that drives me to document the twisted turns of events and even more twisted personalities. Verse lends itself to painting the necessary pictures; it is more powerful and descriptive than photographs of the scrubby, obnoxious degenerates who foul the earth, wind, and water just to the south and those who desecrate city hall.
The absolutely most appropriate verse form for this most abhorrent task is limerick, as explained above and applied below.
- Lyin' Lynda is transgressive; she ignores and violates every law of the city and state; she transgresses every law of God, nature and humanity.
- Lyin' Lynda is a violation of taboo; in the eyes of Manteca officialdom, she is taboo, a Goddess, off-limits, "Don't tell", contraband; yet she violates all those proscriptions.
- Lyin' Lynda is obscene; her middle finger in the air, her public erections (all documented in this blog) - her mere existence - offends decency and contravenes community standards. That she has avoided apprehension all these years is an obscene tribute to her murine appearance, her serpentine double-tonguing, and the asinine, blind city officials.
Thus we see that Lyin' Lynda is the embodiment of Limerick.
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