Monday, February 21, 2011

Sing Along: "Lynda's Boxes In Manteca, All Made Out of Ticky-Tacky"

Little Boxes, San Leandro, All Made Out of Ticky-Tacky...
On a hillside: Bay-O-Vista Development.
Access: I-580 to San Leandro; exit Estudillo East; right on Benedict Dr.; left on View Dr.
Local High School: San Leandro H.S. (Home of the Pirates - "Arrgghh!")
Sample street names: Skyview, Marineview, Harborview, Longview, Lakeview.

Little Boxes, by Malvina Reynolds (she sings it here; click Season 1, Episode 1)

Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky-tacky,
Little boxes, little boxes,
Little boxes, all the same.

There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses
All go to the university,
And they all get put in boxes,
Little boxes, all the same.

And there's doctors and there's lawyers
And business executives,
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf-course,
And drink their Martini dry,
And they all have pretty children,
And the children go to school.

And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university,
And they all get put in boxes
And they all come out the same.

And the boys go into business,
And marry, and raise a family,
And they all get put in boxes,
Little boxes, all the same.

There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same.

See Malvina Reynolds: Song Lyrics and Poems at

Ms. Reynolds' song is a scathing swipe at the urban development patterns of Daly City, across the bay from San Leandro, but easily lends itself to any and all up-the-hillside developments.

The song also has direct application to Lyin' Lynda's half-acre compound on semi-rural Fishback Street (but still R-1 zoning) in flat-as-a-pancake Manteca, California. Every time I see L/L's pot shacks, or smell the odiferous cloud billowing from her Smokehouse, this song runs through my head.

During L/L's first season it was the big, white tent for her Wacky Tabacky (click Weeds Season 1, Episode 5 for the song by the NRBQ).

Then L/L's second season starts off with the Ticky-Tacky growing sheds ...

... kinda like houses and hotels on a Monopoly(c) Park Avenue...

...or whatever the heck those folks in the UK use as place names.

... or, a line of TLC migrant worker houses.

Photo credit

Ahhh, here comes the song again... "There's a green one, and a red one, and there's a yellow one, And they all are ticky-tacky, and they all reek just the same." Where I smell dopers, Lyin' Lynda sniffs money. "To hell with any laws," says she.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My recently acquired insights into the seamy scam known as the Compaaaasionate Use Act of 1996 (aka, California's Medical Marijuana law; aka, de facto legalization):
  • pushed by evil (the kingpin power brokers and money launderers)
  • enacted by greed and blackmail (purchased lawyers masquerading as state legislators)
  • abetted by corruption (toothless, spineless local politicians; hamstrung or dirty law enforcement; and a morbidly obese and deadly flatulent legal system)
  • abused by riff-raff (the parasitic "takers" of society, who voted themselves a legal "right" to stupidity and given a special entitlement of protected status)
  • protected and enforced by violent scum (street muscle who extort, rape, and kill the gold-laying geese)
  • allowed to exist by the completely apathetic ("none of my business"), or the futily disorganized and ineffectual ("what can one person do?"), or the abjectly misguided ("victimless crime", "revenue source", "free country") majority of residents of the Great State of California.
Very interesting entertainment that Showtime series, Weeds.

- - -

And where did that second TLC Catering truck go? I suppose the BDG's are going to grow their primo weed here in Manteca and distribute it elsewhere via a network of Asian/Indian/Mexican catering trucks. What a perfect retail cover business! Cash business; low inventories: extreme mobility for sales, sales prospecting, and bulk movements; malleable menu condiments ("Want I sprinkle summa this guarniciĆ³n on that for ya?"); deep fryers, grease traps, toilets for contraband disappearance before a bust; "no speek eenglase" defense while being questioned.

Of course, it'd be lots easier just to poke packets through the chain link fence between them and the high school. (But none of the three looks like Mary-Louise Parker! "We show you our faces, You're gone without traces..."  just sayin'...)

And the grow shed power consumption problem? "No problem!" crows Lyin' Lynda. "We got us'ns seven huge solar panels on the property to run these here growing sheds."

Of course, the Manteca Building Permit Department did NOT issue a permit for the photovoltaic system to Lyin' Lynda Allen. No... for some unknown reason, the photovoltaic permit was issued in 2004 to build the system on L/L's property, but the owners of the system were listed as the next door octogenarians, Roger and Flora Stewart of 786 Fishback Street. These people were totally unrelated to L/L and no City documentation to show a power-sharing contractual relationship between the two properties and owners. In fact, Roger had died (87 years old) a year before this permit was pulled, and Flora, his wife, 82 years old when the permit was pulled, died eighteen months later. Is this just another business-as-usual screw-up by the City of Manteca? Or, yet another example of Lyin' Lynda intimidating and defrauding the elderly neighbor woman? Who would be stupid enough, or frightened enough, or swindled enough, to lend their good name to Lyin' Lynda?

Oh... and TWO 10x12 growing sheds? Just how much dope do three honest women need? They should be very careful about spreading their joy painkiller around. Here's a cautionary tale from the Manteca Bulletin just before Valentine's Day.

Manteca Bulletin story (Feb 12th)

Manteca Bulletin story followup (Feb 13th)

News 10 story with a slideshow

{whistling the catchy tune} "Lynda's boxes in Manteca, B-D-G's growing ticky-tacky..." {whistling, whistling} "... and they all reek just the same."



hann said...

This technology essentially tries to create tiny solar robots to convert the sunlight to energy. Millions fit within small areas and the hope is the efficiency conversion rate will go through the roof. Make sure that you have enough solar panels to meet the needs of your home.

noisemaker said...

Tiny robots? Who woulda thought!

It looks to me like the BDG's buddy, Plumber-Crack Crystal, got out of Scotsman ice machine repair and wrote up a couple sophomoric web pages to sell solar power. (I'm sure he'll give you a good deal on some "tiny robot" panels.) Check out this page for a better explanation for people *not* on dope.

What he meant to say was because it's illegal to grow marijuana in the open, solar panels collect the solar "juice," pipe it through the opaque roofs and walls of the BDG's marijuana sheds, and into the grow lights. Gotta have those so the plants can make lotsa delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC).

Ya gotta "dope" pure silicon so the BDG's can get dopier than they already are... {just sayin'...}