Friday, October 17, 2008

Left behind - Manteca employees and others

Coworkers and friends continually tried to teach me one of the things I had to learn. Stick to the facts and lead the others to the conclusions on their own; leave personal attacks out of it.

Oh, but I so WANT to wring several necks, both across the fence and across town at city hall.

One piece of paper left behind when the research was mailed was this:

Acknowledgements and Apologies (almost in order of appearance):

Scotsman Corporation and Follett Corporation, for providing the damnably irritating icemaker, which day and night forces this chilling project forward.

Lantz Rey, City Planning Department, for steering me straight at the beginning - on a course that turned out to be circular.

Jeff Hooten, Manteca Police, for trying to make peace with a porcupine and get her to sing along with “The Sound of (Plywood) Physics.”

Rex Osborn, Code Enforcement, for his adept storytelling skills (Any ol’ permit will do…) and for continuously raising the hurdles (You want “Yes” as an answer?)

Greg Baird, Code Enforcement, for keeping me entertained with case-specific myth and conjecture - had it not been for his “over the top” comedy, I might have given up! (see below.)

Greg Olivera, Environmental Health Department, for explaining one-half of the problem – but without connecting it to the other half.

Vince Hernandez, City Councilman, for listening and rightly passing me back to staff.

John Nowak, Deputy City Manager, for his departure.

John Brinton, City Attorney, for make-believing we’re all in Oz. (“Pay no mind to the man behind the curtain!”)

David Bricker, Manteca Police Chief, for trusting his staff’s conclusions.

Alma Martinez, City Planning Department, for her cheerful attitude of service.

Joann Tilton, City Clerk, for easily keeping people and paper well organized.

Lois Sahyoun, Clerk of the Board of Supervisors, for county ordinance information.

Linda Lund, LAFCo Commission Clerk, for fast and accurate annexation information.

San Joaquin County, Environmental Health Department, for getting a tiny bit better at recordkeeping over the years, and dealing with some tough customers with TLC.

Benjamin Cantu, City Planning Department (retired), for doing his job correctly and providing the paper key to unlock this nutty case.

Sandy Dwyer, MUSD Facilities Planning Director, for providing Sierra High School as a “can’t miss” real property landmark.

Ben Marrone, Manteca Sun Post newspaper, for exposing the real meaning of TLC.

A very special acknowledgement is reserved for “Deep Throat,” who convinced T,L&C a few weeks ago to stage a strategic partial retreat (an evasive maneuver similar to the plywood caper and the “professional timer” claim) in an attempt to manipulate sympathies and fend off real action. Thank you, “Deep Throat,” for the quiet nights and the 6:00 a.m. wake-ups.

Examples of comic relief by Greg Baird:

City’s answer: Anyone can have a commercial icemaker in their backyard.

My answer (in the form of a question, please): For real? Who would want or need a machine that sucks up electricity to make upwards of 400 pounds of ice a day? A) a three-person household, or B) a catering business which uses trucks that require ice to maintain proper food storage temperatures? I have personally witnessed very minor household usage, with almost 100% of the ice going into the truck.

Here’s another great one

City’s answer: All that business activity on the other side of the fence is not a business.

My answer: (stunned silence… Did I miss something here?)

See? That wasn't too bad was it?

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