Friday, June 18, 2010

Watch Who You're Calling [a] Dick, Red...


Theresa thinks she is so funny, creative, clever, etc. You see, the BDGs had some window installation guys out this morning (Friday, 6/18/10) and "Wide Load Red" was standing in her front doorway with one of them. After lunch I walked across the street to check my mailbox and, as I walked back, she pasted a smile on her face, waved her arm at me, and hollered, "Hi, Dick!"

The obvious thoughts swirling through her puny, transparent mind were these:
  1. I have a friendly witness; we know him - or, have been schmoozing him all morning.
  2. To my witness, I am appearing friendly to my neighbor.
  3. I am getting away with insulting my neighbor while appearing to be friendly.
  4. My neighbor will not respond and will appear unfriendly.
  5. Any non-response (or response) my neighbor makes can be used against him.
  6. I am so clever.
  7. Maybe Lynda will now see how smart I am and like me.
Driving past her place on my return to work, she flashed me a huge shit-eating grin and a look that said, "Xxxx xxx!"

When I moved into my house over three years ago, I used to get uptight about dog walkers letting their precious poochies shit by the bushes by my driveway - and leave the stinking piles there. But not any more. In a day or two, another dog will come along and eat it. Happens all the time. The dog leaves with a shit-eating grin.

It was the same grin Theresa wore. Just as I wrote last year, "Apparently her consanguinity with dogs runs deep."

Only two people in my lifetime have gotten away without correction for addressing me as Dick. One I loved and never even considered correcting him; the other I so thoroughly despised that I never bothered to correct him.

But these three putative* women...? They have mouthed off like this before. I guess this post proves the BDGs have not yet sunk to the level of despicableness necessary for total banishment. I'm still deciding - torn, actually - whether to respond next time by hailing them using the term xxxx** (although it likely does not apply to them.) Hmmm...

- - - - - - - - - - -
* putative (a)  purported; commonly believed, put forth, or accepted as true, but based on inconclusive grounds or supposition rather than as a result of proof; examples, "the foundling's putative father"; "these three putative women..."

** censored

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