Thursday, August 9, 2012

Pop Warner Shit Shack


Manteca Unified School District
Attn: Nancy Teicheira
2271 West Louise Avenue
Manteca, CA 95337

August 2, 2012

Dear Mrs. Teicheira,

Greetings, as we meet again over an issue of paramount importance to me.

At a school board meeting last year, I met with you and MUSD staff regarding a portable toilet which on July 22, 2011, had been delivered and attached to the chain link fence bordering my driveway- in effect, ON MY DRIVEWAY! From that placement, in line with the prevailing NW winds of Manteca, its pungent plume blew continuously through my house at 786 Fishback Street.

That odorous object has appeared again this same week in 2012, in the same objectionable spot. This is the final straw that breaks this camel’s back for the second year running.

[pic, above]

For many years prior, never before seen, the offending structure appeared last year for the first time. The immediate effect was physically nauseating. I believe the outhouse was(is) rented from A & A Portables by the Pop Warner League, who, in turn, rents the practice field bordering my property from the Manteca Unified School District for six months out of every year. Last year’s expediency was to remove the shit shack approximately 100 feet northward along the MUSD’s Fishback Street fence line.

Apparently, your insensate renter’s lazy vendor could not be bothered to repeat last year’s plan this year.

Two other, more permanent, solutions include:

1. Opening up the restrooms behind Teicheira Stadium as part of the rental agreement. Those facilities have the design, functionality, and enclosure to handle the massive amounts of sewer effluent generated by Johnnie, Suzie, Mommy, Poppie, and all the other Pop Warner groupies who camp out in front of my house for four hours every night for six months every year.

2. Remove the gate from its present location next to my driveway, northward to about where the other eyesore structure is located on your practice field, or around the corner on Thomas Street.
.          a. This action has a precedent set when the other MUSD gate a few yards southward on Fishback Street was welded shut and the gates on Wawona Street were prescribed for use by Pop Warner aficionados.
.          b. This solution has the added advantage of dissipating the traffic congestion in front of my driveway, including the illegal parking and driveway blocking by self-absorbed “helicopter” parents.

Mrs. Teicheira, please see to it: A) that this nuisance is dealt with immediately, and B) that a long term solution is arrived at. I do not desire to ask you to this dance again next year.


Richard Behling,
A nauseated Manteca property owner

Copies to:

Pop Warner/Manteca Chargers
821 West Yosemite Ave
Manteca, Ca 95337

A & A Portables
201 Roscoe Road
Modesto, CA 95357

Manteca Bulletin
531 E. Yosemite Avenue
Manteca, CA 95336

* * * * *
[ed. note: shit shack moved northward 100 feet on Wednesday, 8 Aug 2012.]

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