Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Pardon Me, Ma'am, Your Joists and Slats Are Showing

The three-ring circus next door is an endless source of thigh-slapping, siding-splitting, roll-off-the-roof-and-onto-the-concrete, laugh-until-you-die, shyster... hysterectic... hysterectomy... hysterical, uproarious humor. Please wait until I sop up the tears streaming down my face...  ...  ...  ... 

If there is anything the BDGs can do perfectly, it is that every single thing they do is completely WRONG. Who needs illegal mobile home CATV when every moment they are awake is pure, free entertainment?

In Manteca, pouring concrete attached to your house requires a permit. Attaching a porch or patio covering to your house requires a permit. Re-roofing your house requires a permit. Permitting these geniuses to design and execute any architechtural tasks demands a one-way pass to a mental hospital!

Anyway, this is what it looked like when the code enforcement officer showed up today at 1:00 p.m. No doubt the Frank Lloyd Wright wannabes will only get a C.E. slap on the hands instead of the much more satisfying effective and medically preferred boot to the head.

Hey, don't look at me! They didn't share their plans (and hopes, and dreams, and deepest secrets) with me prior to hiring "some guys with trucks" to demolish and rebuild - or expand - the backside of their house. Apparently, neither did they share that information with the fire department, the police department, the building safety department, the county assessor's office, or verify their laborers' licenses through the California Department of Consumer Affairs. (OK, all that is almost automatic when you get a permit.)

{sigh} I just wish that with all these "improvements" they are buying, they replace their Lynda-designed and Corky-built pile of shit fence beween our houses with a fifteen-foot high, freeway-style sound wall, as I was refused permission from the City of Manteca to do in March of 2008, over two years ago. I wonder what the C.E. dude thought about their p.o.s. fence? What are your thoughts?

Yes, siree, these three are the Next Big Thing(s) in the Cheap Trailer Trash category of environmentally responsible - yet friendly and inviting - living space design.


The Manteca Response said...

Oh, come on!!!!! What's happening now? Is Consumer Affairs in on this? Is CE on top of it? Any citations yet? Are they planning on selling that property?

noisemaker said...

Why? Oh, why did you have to raise that most vivid two-part fantasy of mine? First, to conduct a realistic reenactment on my neighbors' junk-ridden property of Sherman's scorched earth march to Atlanta during the Civil War; and, second, to see the sign in their front yard that reads: For Sale... Because My Neighbor's An Asshole!

It's still a little too early to request the CE case notes on this call. All I know is there is a plan to tear *something* down today. Hopefully, it is the shanty shed built right up against the north fence.

The war is not won yet - it's one battle at a time.