A Fairy Story As Grimm As Any Other

.

1970 Pinole Valley High Spartans

Bitchin' coed, I's looking to grad

But my face... just a little too sad.

Oh, where were the boys

To use as my toys?

She's far too unstable, said Thad.

I stared, broke the mirror on my wall,

Down the lightless and chilly long hall

Where Arv whooped and hollered

'Bout a beefy footballer.

Uhn... he wanted a son after all!

So, my Pa wants a son? Who am I
To turn down such a call from on high?
I'll find a Red bitch
And scratch the mutt's itch
And re-learn her to chop, stir and fry.


Bought some houses, some trucks, got six dogs
Set up shop out where Manteca fogs
Fuck permit from city!
Just waggle a titty
'Cause we're certainly grandmothered trogs.

The Stewarts? We in-timid-at-ed.
The city? We screwed with young Ben's head.
My masterful lie
Made the old neighbors die
It's smooth sailin' 'til we all drop dead.

After years we found us a plump Cork
To ply us with fishy-smell pork
And is it not nice
She keeps us in ice?
Real sad, though... still can't use a fork.



But the bitch cozys up with Slick Willie

That's just fine with this Pinole hillbilly

We all are just brash

Rambunctious white trash

Hating most men. But him? Don't be silly.

Yet C.J. needs someone come visit her

A redhead who, quite sure, can divot her

The shorts without pockets

And vacant tooth sockets

Make our dear friend Rosa a Riveter.

And here, too, is plumber-crack Crystal
Who's always on roof and eave distal
He hammers, drills, screws,
Yells, God! then he spews
Machine noise as loud as a pistol.

Drive '89 Chevy submersibles
We blend in 'cause we wear reversibles
Don't dare you detract!
Don't give us no flak
By sayin' we're gas-filled dirigibles.

Old women who lived in a shoe
Got nuthin' quite like our damn zoo
It rains dogs and cats,
Some chickens, some bats
And the rodents? Well, that's... you-know-who.




But still I don't get no real sex
The only man worthy, T. Rex
He revels in lies
Says he likes my pies {giggles}
Show your pies, girls! (He's making us wrecks.)



Catch me on Showtime sometime...

Then that guy who moved in next door - Putz!
Threw a monkey wrench into our... Klutz!
All he does is write.
Tell the truth! Get it right!
Hey, your honor, all we did was - Schtutz!

A lawsuit? On us? In a court?
(Please pardon, we gotta go snort)
We did nuthin' wrong
But play some loud song
And still harrass him for our sport.

Should you want to smoke Sierra High(c)
Our tall fence is rigged with Evil Eye(c)
We show you our faces
You're gone with no traces
'Less'n you want some to sell, trade or buy {wink}{nudge}.

With all-seeing eyes like old Sauron
We set out to beat that old moron
Who moved in next door.
But much to our horror
Police calls continue to pour on.

The crime is P.C. four-fifteen,

But how can you charge me, the Queen?

I been ruler since God

Was but a dirt clod.

You want me both unheard and unseen?

This's my grandiose story I tell

How likes Graces from Heaven we fell

And made a pig's wallow.

(Don't inhale! Don't swallow!)

Yes, sirree, the Three Beaches From Hell!

.
.

The Beginning of a New Illegal Business Operation?

.

Simply amazing! The Winchester/Manteca Mystery House wannabes are at it again...

At 0800 hrs Tuesday these two new sheds did not exist; at 1330 hrs the tent had been moved, the buildings hammered up, and the roofers had them almost shingled! The buildings have no visible windows or doors (except, maybe, facing each other.) I'm told these are legal accessory buildings, each the allowable maximum of 120 square feet, no closer than three feet to any fence line, not requiring city building permits.

Here is my working conjecture: These sheds are going to be the BDGs defense against the misdemeanor charge they must answer on November 9th for growing marijuana in the open, violating Manteca's code. Also, the BDGs are counting on Proposition 19 passing (legalizing marijuana in California) and they will be ready to go into business, using one of these sheds as the growing room and the other the drying, hand picking, and packaging shed. (The manufacturing facilities will be stationary, but in the picture above, note the fleet of commercial distribution trucks still on the property, packed into the back corner.)

There are a few problems with that plan, however. Just like their illegal catering business operation, this agricultural venture is on a residential lot, it is not grandfathered, and there is no city permit to run a home occupation or a marijuana collective, growing and selling/bartering dope.

Ah, but the Barefoot Dirty Girls will protest, saying that they are merely growing it for their own use. Really? Just how much weed do these three potheads use?

Oh, oh...! {waving hand wildly} I forgot to share this information earlier. All three BDGs have medical marijuana cards! Do you know how impossible those odds are - that all three shrews should come down with debilitating and painful conditions* requiring marijuana treatment all at the same time? When I mentioned that to a friend, he snorted and said, "They've been smoking it all along. And... how do you think their catering truck gig survived so long?" (Well... that and the "saving" of business property rents for the operation...)

And just how did they arrange the caregiver appointments amongst the three newly-(belated-as-usual!)-legalized, card-carrying dopers? My guess is like this:

(...similar to their other kind of daisy chain...)

Back on task... The instant any weed is sold or traded to anyone other than the three residents, the operation violates the Home Occupation zoning code. The instant any weed is grown for, or "exchanged" with, other medical marijuana users, the operation becomes a collective within one thousand feet of school property, which is a violation of the Medical Marijuana health & safety code (as most of the law still stands currently.)


Of course, once Red's pink ribbon problem is concluded (either interim or final), these sheds could be loaded onto a flatbed trailer and hauled to Oregon... except Lynda lies.


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* From the CUA, Sec 11362.5, 1996:

"...in the treatment of cancer, anorexia, AIDS, chronic pain, spasticity, glaucoma, arthritis, migraine, or any other illness for which marijuana provides relief."

Unfortunately, dope cannot relieve Lynda's problems - it only makes them worse.

.

"I'll See You Out In The Shed! ...NOW!"

.

This whole fight over noise started with the Scotsman icemaker - and it appears Allen & Brassey are leaving that P.O.S. machine and its shed for the last. The picture was taken to document the expansion of the already-illegal erection. Currently, the BDGs have sealed it up with tarps to conceal their movements and have to use fans for ventilation.

The shanty shed dates back to the illegal business expansion of TLC Catering in 1993-94. After A&B dodged a zoning complaint bullet, they lied their asses off and conned officials into granting them "grandfathered" land use status. Immediately thereafter they ignored the non-expansion instruction and built themselves a commissary on the property to service all their trucks. From my researched report:

"Yet the TLC Life just kept getting better! Emboldened by Manteca's emasculation, three months later Allen & Brassey assumed home occupation (land use) permission from Health Department (food sanitation) permits and made an application payment to EHD to establish and operate a private commissary, naming their property at 810 Fishback Street as the location for inspections.[Z] (The current Manteca code enforcement officer opined that Allen & Brassey were merely attempting to “legalize” what they had been doing “since they moved in.” When did they move in? Sorry, but they still need a land use permit.) The nine months following September 1993, was likely the period when a walk-in freezer and a refrigerated shipping container were hauled onto the property, refrigerators and freezers were plugged in everywhere, lights and floodlights strung up, and an ancient, noisy icemaker was improperly installed. The illegal mobile home, that longstanding error, was swallowed up in the larger commissary operation, pieces of which were scattered all around the property. The following June, the Health Department plan checks were done and in July 1994, EHD issued a Commissary Permit to the owners of TLC Catering. Again assuming nonexistent permissions, Allen & Brassey began taking commercial deliveries to their property, something expressly prohibited for home occupations. They were now set with four catering trucks, a fully equipped private commissary, and commercial vendors whose big trucks delivered supplies and services to their doorstep... they were unstoppable."

A big concrete pad was poured to support the installation of the Bally walk-in freezer, the Scotsman icemaker, and other refrigerators and freezers used in the business. The posts and fiberglass roofing were put up to protect the appliances, as well as all the other crap Allen & Brassey crammed in there.

The following description of the shed was sent to the city and - no surprise - no action was taken.

Tue 12/29/2009 4:08 PM
New Request # 329034
The Problem you submitted was:
Request type: Permits
Description: A noncompliant and unpermitted accessory covered structure was built along the lot’s north property line, in the fourteen-foot space between a permitted outbuilding and the wooden fence on the property line. Recent noncompliant additions have been made to it.

The structure consists of a concrete pad, approximately 43 feet long and 14 feet wide, formed and poured to within 6 inches of the fence posts. A 31-foot run of roofing is supported on the north side by 4 x 4 uprights. Some uprights are set back approximately 24 inches from the fence, others only 6 inches. The other side of the structure is attached to the outbuilding, under 20 feet of eaves. The green corrugated fiberglass roofing material is cut immediately above the wooden fence and pitched to drain its runoff, and the runoff from the outbuilding’s overhanging eaves, right on top of the fence. The runoff has led to serious deterioration of fence posts and boards.

The purpose of the structure is to house various machinery and appliances. This means that the electrical wiring, plumbing and drainage may also be noncompliant. Indeed, a short popped a circuit breaker a few months ago, which led to some rewiring.

Drainage is a big problem. One of the machines under this structure continuously drains directly onto the concrete pad. Because the property’s elevation is several inches higher than the adjoining property, the water flows, first, onto the ground at the fence line, then onto the adjoining property, causing a mosquito-breeding habitat. Added to that water flow is the roof runoff, mentioned above.

The combined factors of a declining elevation gradient, the concrete pad on Manteca’s soft soil, no footings or soil retention devices, runoff drainage problems, the continuous drainage and intense vibration from one of the machines, and heavy use of the structure has caused soil slumping evidenced by a pronounced bow in the fence.

I am seeking extensive rebuilding - or better yet, outright demolition - of this noncompliant and unpermitted structure on my fence line. In addition to the damages listed above (and some not listed), it is an unsightly intrusion.

The response from code enforcement was, loosely paraphrased, "I can't find my own ass because it's too dark around here." (Hey, have someone take a picture of your ass and Twitter it to you! Buncha' prima donna top models...)

It's time again to shine a light on the shed and Manteca's C.E. geniuses.

.

The Cancer Metastasizes*

.

Great Scott! Wave after wave of flotsam and jetsam - vomit from the BDG's illict decades-old catering enterprise - are now spilling over into the street!

I'm guessing the triage** underway is to segregate the pure crap from the flea market merchandise, and those from the piles of shit stored under the Big Top, the latter likely to be dragged along by the BDG's to their future paradise home... far, far, far away. (The farther the better... but wherever that paradise is, it's about to suffer a mortal blow. See definitions for metastasize.*)

Like everything else the hash-slinging potheads do, they don't have the good sense to sneak out of town in the middle of the night; instead they have to trash the neighborhood first.

I wonder if they have a permit for their merchatile display going on the second day now? Flea market... yard sale... garage sale... lawn sale... take your pick of terms; they are all equivalent under the Manteca Municipal Code.

“Garage sale” means a sale conducted by an individual homeowner or occupant of a home, or apartment owners, or occupant of an apartment unit, for the purpose of selling, trading, bargaining, exchanging or otherwise disposing of unwanted or surplus household furnishings or goods, or other tangible property, usually conducted in a garage, on a patio, upon a driveway, or on or in any portion of premises in a residential zone and for which no inventory or permanent or detail records are kept on the transactions thus carried out. It may, at times, be conducted by a combination of residential dwellers at a single location and may take on the nature and character of a rummage sale or a fund raising event for civic or charitable purposes. All sales designated “lawn sale,” “attic sale,” “rummage sale,” “moving sale,” “flea market sale,” or other terms of similar or like intent and having the foregoing characteristics and purposesshall be deemed garage sales. (MMC 17.61.030 Definitions)

28. Garage or Yard Sales. A garage or yard sale may be conducted on any developed lot in an R district, subject to the following requirements:

a. No more than two such sales may be conducted on any one lot in any one calendar year.
b. Each sale period shall be for no more than three days, unless additional time is approved by the community development director.
c. All related signs shall conform to the requirements of Chapter 17.17 of this title. (MMC 17.07.020 Permitted and Conditionally Permited Uses)

Oh, I know. The BDG's will claim it is not a yard sale - yet - because there are no For Sale signs up - yet. But they are fooling no one, because the BDG's have never followed any rules before and the City of Manteca officials don't enforce any of their own rules, especially on these scofflaws.

As Karen Carpenter sung:

I know I ask perfection of
A quite imperfect world
And fool enough to think
That’s what I’ll find.

And I quote an excerpt from my own soon-to-be published legal writings below:

D. Nonconforming and Noncompliant Uses

The rationale advanced in the citations in this section applies to legal nonconforming uses and is couched in that language. It goes without saying that these principles apply - with imperative action to abate - against illegal or noncompliant uses.

In California, "[Zoning] legislation . . . looks to the future and the eventual liquidation of nonconforming uses." [Citation] [Sabek, Inc. v. County of Sonoma, 190 Cal. App. 3d 163 (Cal. App. 1st Dist. 1987)]

Why is that? The answer was outlined [by the court in Gage] in 1954:

"No case seems to have been decided in this state squarely involving the precise question presented in the case at bar. Until recently zoning ordinances have made no provision for any systematic and comprehensive elimination of the nonconforming use. The expectation seems to have been that existing nonconforming uses would be of little consequence and that they would eventually disappear. [Citation] The contrary appears to be the case. [Citation] It is said that the fundamental problem facing zoning is the inability to eliminate the nonconforming use. [Citation] (footnote 2) The general purpose of present-day zoning ordinances is to eventually end all nonconforming uses. [Citation].
...
“Footnotes, note 2. "It has always been assumed that non-conforming uses would gradually eliminate themselves from the district in which they exist if they were not permitted to expand. Such has not proven to be the case. They not merely continue to exist, but to send down deeper roots. They become clear monopolies and special privileges. Their existence is a continual threat to the conservation of property values in the districts where they exist. The time has come when cognizance should be taken of this situation and provision made, probably in the state law, whereby non-conforming uses may be gradually eliminated under some equitable method of procedure." [Citation] (emphasis added) [Los Angeles v. Gage, 127 Cal. App. 2d 442 (Cal. App. 1954)]

A perfect description of that metastasizing cancer known as TLC Catering, owned and illegally operated by Lynda S Allen and Theresa A Brassey, for twenty-three years on the always-zoned-as-residential property at 810 Fishback Street, Manteca, California - aided and abetted by the lazy, bungling, incompetent fools soaking up our tax dollars down at city hall.

I'm waiting for the multiple (Red, Yellow, and Green) lumpectomies and the proper radiation treatment of this cancer. Which button do you think I'd push?

(from the Natural News site)

.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* me·tas·ta·size (verb used without object. It's alive!) 1. Pathology (of malignant cells or disease-producing organisms) to spread to other parts of the body by way of the blood or lymphatic vessels or membranous surfaces. 2. to spread injuriously (Ex., Street gangs have metastasized in our city.) 3. to transform, esp. into a dangerous form (Ex., The KGB metastasized after the fall of the Soviet Union. Ex., Truth metastasized into Lynda Allen's lurid TLC fantasy.)

** triage (transitive verb) 1a: the sorting of and allocation of treatment to patients and especially battle and disaster victims according to a system of priorities designed to maximize the number of survivors b: the sorting of patients (as in an emergency room) according to the urgency of their need for care; 2: the assigning of priority order to projects on the basis of where funds and other resources can be best used, are most needed, or are most likely to achieve success. Ex., Nurses do triage in the emergency room. (Fr, sorting, sifting, from trier to sort, from Old French) Rhymes with triage: barrage, collage, corsage, dressage, frottage, garage, gavage, lavage, massage, ménage, mirage, montage, moulage, portage, potage, treillage.

(Great rhymes! I'll have to use some of them soon because a couple, in particular, apply to the BDG's.)
.

Illegal Mobile Home Demolished - 28 Years Too Late!

.
I got a text message yesterday. It asked, "Hey, is my mind playing tricks on me? The BDGs have torn down their mobile shack?

Mobile home - Before

Mobile Home - After

(BTW, that's their pot farm, out in the open still, all those cute little plants under the solar panels. The police told me they told Lynda to enclose and secure it. There's a reason marijuana is called "dope.")

It's about time the Barefoot Dirty Girls "get" the final aim of the lawsuit!

When Mellow Yellow and Ravaged Red moved onto the property November 13, 1987 - 23 years ago - they did so BECAUSE of the mobile home. From the transcript of the city council meeting, Lynda's answer on March 3, 2009 to the Mayor's question confirms that:

Mayor Weatherford: When you bought the property, did you have an intention to use it in a certain way?
Ms. Allen: Yes, it was all laid out. Yes...

The mobile home had already been on the property illegally for five years BEFORE the BDGs bought the place.

CLUELESS County of San Joaquin...




Then they moved their catering truck operation onto the property (without a Manteca land use permit) and used the mobile home as their commissary for six years (without a Health Department Commissary permit.) Oh, eventually they applied to the Health Department for a private commissary in 1993 - right after being told by the city that they could NOT expand their business use - then hauled all sorts of trailers, freezers, and an icemaker onto their property, and poured concrete and built several unpermitted sheds to cover all the crap, and dumped gravel over half the yard to turn it into a business compound.

CLUELESS City of Manteca...

It's about time this mobile home is gone! These charlatans saved a ton of money over those twenty-three years of hellish and illegal use, which kept them in business by undercutting the competition's operating costs and evading municipal regulations. (Their mantra: Nosy, whiney neighbors and officials be damned!)

Last week my attorney sent over a 30-day Notice to Inspect Property and a Demand For Production of Documents relating to the legality of the mobile home in my neighbors’ yard. The only document this mobile home possesses is the 1976 permit, above, which expired in 1982. This week the monstrosity, which enticed the two-legged rodents to take up residence in the first place, is finally being torn down.

Once the mobile home is gone, its address (812 Fishback Street) will be decommissioned by the City of Manteca.

This demolition assuages my fear that they were going to convert their illegal mobile home/TLC Commissary into Mellow Yellow's Pot Farm. The lawsuit will, of course, continue until the whole nonconforming operation is judged illegal and ALL the appertanant structures and equipment have to go. If new construction takes place for a pot farm enclosure, I will ensure that the BDGs have a Manteca building permit - just like when they tried to rebuild their back porch without a permit.



.

NFH Recidivism*

.

(Image by Steve Cox)

Oh, yesss!... Mr. Cox has captured the essential, empty natures of the Barefoot Dirty Girls. The likenesses and relationships are nearly perfect. [Note: Requested minor changes before purchase: (1) The Alpha Female here is depicted larger than the others. Could you, perhaps, physically stunt the dirty blonde to 4½ - 5 feet? And more gnome-like?; (2) Is it possible to make the redhead "wider", without losing the look of gauntness?; (3) Turn the green hair grey and put a little "pooch" in the tummy; and, (4) Put the Alpha Female and green/grey/hair in sports bras!]

. . .

Small habits well pursued betimes

May reach the dignity of crimes.

Hannah More

. . .

As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.

Proverbs 26:11

. . .

Wouldn't you know it? The BDGs, who like dogs have pissed all over  "marked" their territory by playing a yard radio daily from 07:00 hrs to bedtime, and insistently maintain their folly, have decided they can again afford to ramp up their nuisance.

Since the weekend of May 15-16, the neighbors have been entertaining a foreign language-speaking, two-man construction crew, and accompanying their work with the strains of Mega 100.1 FM, KQOD, Stockton. The "happy" sounds of power saws, hammers, scraping shovels, and the cycling of (icemaker-sounding) air compressors for pneumatic stapling and nailing have overlaid the radio for over a month. The dilatory** construction schedule appears to be a combination of several factors: lack of permits, lack of drawings (buying lumber one piece at a time), lack of brains among all parties, among many other items. When the "overlooked" [Lynda's favorite word] porch rebuild permit was finally secured, the re-roof project was suspended and the dogs returned to their vomit, so to speak. The overriding objective, of course, is the neighbors' tenuously legal ability to stretch another noise nuisance over the longest possible period of time.

Tuesday of this week, however, the owners experimented with... {wait for it...} turning the radio volume up! So it was that at 16:42 hrs the decibel level jumped until bedtime. Of course, they are sending the crew away later and later as construction continues until dark, as a forthcoming chart clearly shows. Thank God the summer solstice is only days away - and the daylight get shorter and shorter.

Thursday, the radio was re-tuned at 11:38 hrs to a foreign language station and the volume cranked crazy high, enough to be heard over the power tools being employed, including the BDGs' leaf blower (or string trimmer, or whatever-the-hell other power equipment they use to maintain their gravel business yard.) How can one take a lunch time nap with all that racket? If you have ever thought how irritating the play-by-play announcer is at any sporting event, just try listening to one who doesn't speak the official language of this country and is broadcasting his monotonous tripe to a worldwide audience. At 13:50 hrs the station was reset to Mega 100.1 FM but the volume was not reduced.

But for the reason of the BDGs' stinkin' thinkin' outlined above (and documented long ago), I can handle reasonable construction sounds. On the other hand, lest the BDGs think I will allow them to broadcast to the neighborhood the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) World Cup Fútbol games from now through July 21st, it's only fair to warn them that I consider ANYTHING coming from the yard radio a disturbance of my peace and will be dealt with according to California's Penal Code, Section 415 (2).

. . .

But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb,

The dog is turned to his own vomit again;

and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.

2 Peter 2:22

. . .

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* recidivism (n)  gen.  a tendency to relapse into a previous condition or mode of behavior ; spec.  a negatively connoted repeated relapsing into unhealthy, criminal, nuisance, or delinquent behavior.
(v) a tendency to recidivate.
(adj) re·cidi·vistic, re·cidi·vous
[Recidivism is a common term used when speaking of the revolving door of a "Corrections" facility. From recidivist, one who recidivates, from French récidiviste, from récidiver, to relapse, from Medieval Latin recidvre, from Latin recidvus, falling back, from recidere, to fall back : re-, re- + cadere, to fall; see kad- in Indo-European roots.]

** dilatory (adj) 1 : tending or intended to cause delay 2 : characterized by procrastination : tardy Intentionally delaying (someone or something); slow or tardy; intended to cause delay, gain time, or defer decision
[15th century, Middle English, from Anglo-French dilatorie, Late Latin dilatorius, from Latin differre (past participle dilatus) to postpone, differ]
.

Now THAT Is (Tragically) Funny!

.
Just where, exactly, does one start to describe the hopelessly foolish actions of T, L & C ??

In the BDGs' suddenly frantic effort to pour money into their house (as opposed to removing the catering business vehicles, structures and equipment in the yard behind the house), they have now strapped on crowbars, hammers, nail guns and paint brushes, and plowed full-throttle into the demolition and reconstruction business. Felix helps, too.

The only trouble is... they did not get permits to (1) expand or (2) re-roof their little house BEFORE they started. (The only reason they have a (3) vinyl siding permit is because they purchased it "installed" and Sears pulled the permit for them.) When the inspector visited them and halted the porch reconstruction project, they immediately pulled the re-roof permit and hammered away ever since.

All that is the tragic (ROTFLMAO*) comedy.

The really funny part is when the inspector told them to turn the radio down because he couldn't hear what they were saying. The context is even funnier because he doesn't realize that any of the three can out-screech freight train brakes when yelping at their dogs or at each other across their yard (or, maybe he does by now.)

Speaking of the radio...

On Saturday, the BDGs turned off their noise pollution when they left for a couple hours. It was a real treat to become reacquainted with natural sounds instead of their filthy, finger-flying trash noise.

And on Sunday, it got even better. At 8:27 a.m., nearing the end of their two hours of banging, bashing, bawling, crunching, yelping and kiss-kiss** preparations for departure, Corky exclaimed in her OMG! voice, "Is it 8 o'clock?" and a little lower, "What about the radio?" Theresa acted as the repeater, again hollering the question , "What about the radio?" to Generalissimo Lynda out front. The order from HQ must have been negative because the radio NEVER came on - the whole day! - when they left or after they returned. No noise, no neighbors; such a day is a treasure.

But the radio was on again early this morning, even though Felix & Co. is not banging around on the roof, even though his red van with silver striping is parked in the yard next door. (All the vehicles and crap on their property kinda reminds me of the [pre-cell phones] quest to see how many college students could be crammed into a phone booth.) Who knows, maybe Felix will show up with another truck pretty soon?!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off

** A Freudian insight into the women's relationships and why they keep so many dogs around. Kiss-kiss refers to their ritual, several times a day, of using their baby talk voices to order one dog or another, "C'mon little man, go pee-pee."
.

I'll Hammer in the Morning, I'll Hammer in the Evening... (sing-a-long)

.
As I said before, living next to the BDGs is an endless delight...

First, a reputable contractor pulls a permit to install vinyl siding.

Then come item #2, where the city has to be called out to tell them they need a permit to pour foundation concrete and construct whatever-the-hell room or porch they're building out back. Removing a couple rows of shingles to tie in the new roofline is one thing, but now...

Now the question becomes, Did this cotiere* of construction connoisseurs happen to mention to code enforcement that they were doing more than merely tying item #2 into the roof joists out back? This morning's festivities included stripping the entire roof of composite shingles...

... and removing large sections of sheathing, front and back.

Last time I checked, re-roofing as a single operation required its own separate permit. A complete remodeling permit, to include re-roofing, may be necessary in this circumstance.


Hmmm... WWJD?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* cotiere (n) French, from Middle French, tenants, from Old French cotier cotter, of Germanic origin; akin to Old English cot hut. 1738 : an intimate and often exclusive group of persons with a unifying common interest or purpose.

.

Pardon Me, Ma'am, Your Joists and Slats Are Showing

The three-ring circus next door is an endless source of thigh-slapping, siding-splitting, roll-off-the-roof-and-onto-the-concrete, laugh-until-you-die, shyster... hysterectic... hysterectomy... hysterical, uproarious humor. Please wait until I sop up the tears streaming down my face...  ...  ...  ... 

If there is anything the BDGs can do perfectly, it is that every single thing they do is completely WRONG. Who needs illegal mobile home CATV when every moment they are awake is pure, free entertainment?

In Manteca, pouring concrete attached to your house requires a permit. Attaching a porch or patio covering to your house requires a permit. Re-roofing your house requires a permit. Permitting these geniuses to design and execute any architechtural tasks demands a one-way pass to a mental hospital!

Anyway, this is what it looked like when the code enforcement officer showed up today at 1:00 p.m. No doubt the Frank Lloyd Wright wannabes will only get a C.E. slap on the hands instead of the much more satisfying effective and medically preferred boot to the head.

Hey, don't look at me! They didn't share their plans (and hopes, and dreams, and deepest secrets) with me prior to hiring "some guys with trucks" to demolish and rebuild - or expand - the backside of their house. Apparently, neither did they share that information with the fire department, the police department, the building safety department, the county assessor's office, or verify their laborers' licenses through the California Department of Consumer Affairs. (OK, all that is almost automatic when you get a permit.)

{sigh} I just wish that with all these "improvements" they are buying, they replace their Lynda-designed and Corky-built pile of shit fence beween our houses with a fifteen-foot high, freeway-style sound wall, as I was refused permission from the City of Manteca to do in March of 2008, over two years ago. I wonder what the C.E. dude thought about their p.o.s. fence? What are your thoughts?

Yes, siree, these three are the Next Big Thing(s) in the Cheap Trailer Trash category of environmentally responsible - yet friendly and inviting - living space design.
.

Concrete Defense? Pour It On, Ladies!

.

Holy Cow! When I used the words "concrete defense" in a previous post, I didn't think the BDGs would take me literally! (If I disappear anytime soon, have authorities look for my remains under their new concete slab.)

Last Easter Sunday, my neighbors left on a day-trip. The outdoor radio was ON all day because they turned it on just before they took off. (The speaker is on the wall to the left.) This is the way their screened back porch looked at mid-day, about the time the police arrived to "enjoy" the music with me.

This weekend the porch went missing! Below is what the area looked like last night - ready to pour concrete.

Given the BDGs' contemptuous refusal for twenty-three years to do anything legally, the immediate questions presented were:

• 1) "Does this project require a building permit?"
• 2) "If so, do they have one?"
• 3) "If so, is it an owner's permit or a contractor's permit?"

This morning the street was lined with cars: Lynda's big-ass black Chevy pickup (an over-compensation, no doubt), a Chryler Sebring, the handyman's red van with silver striping, a small blue pickup, Theresa's soccer mom black minivan (now there's an oxymoronic juxtaposition of incongruous images!), and Corky's getaway car parked across the street. That was all to make room for another guy's work truck and a concrete delivery. Don't worry, there was still room for the painted ladies... sorry, painting ladies... and their pre-installation painting projects (see picture at end of post and look in the sliding door reflection.)

And, yes, the outdoor radio was turned on at 7:00 a.m.

At noon, the folks at the City of Manteca's one-stop permit shop were most helpful. When the three questions above were put to them, the answer to the first inquiry was, "Yes, a permit is needed." Turning to a nearby terminal, the city's computer system was consulted to answer whether one had been issued (question #2.)

Voila! There IS a permit!

{Knock me over with a feather! ... confusion reigns supreme... my mind casts wildly about for a lifeline... I forget how to breathe... the universe has just been turned inside out... and upside down!... 'Is NOTHING as it seems, anymore?'}

A croaking "Hail, Mary" is ventured... "Is it an owner's permit or a contractor's permit?"

The reply set the vast cosmos spinning aright once again - and prevented my untimely death by suffocation on city property - but it presented a new puzzlement (which is the normal course of earth's rotation in regards to the Barefoot Dirty Girls.) "It is a contractor's permit. On 5/14/2010, Sears pulled a permit to install vinyl siding on the house."

'Wait... hold on... I'm processing this new information...' In logical progression, that left all three original questions unanswered, and added a fourth. 'WTF are they doing behind the house? It has nothing to do with Sears siding.'

Who do you call when you have ghosts? Ghostbusters! The picture of the missing porch - and newly installed concrete forms - was graciously given to the permit technician, who said it would be forwarded to Greg Baird in Code Enforcement, which officer would visit the site, cite the scofflaws, and "encourage" compliance to Building Safety codes. Such action could also extend to anyone (licensed or unlicensed contractors) assisting in the violation.

Everyone I've spoken with has assured me that Greg Baird is top flight... the cat's meow... a code enforcement officer extraordinaire. I, however, have never gotten a believable answer out of him yet (but some thigh-slapping humor! (see end of post) I'll give him one more chance - with freshly taken and printed pictures - no more than a day old. (No ancient history here, Greg.)

If he hurries, he can still imprint his hands and write his name in the wet concrete.
.
.
Oops,... News Splash! He may be too late all ready...

... and I'm still breathing air.

.

Belated Apology to the late Roger and Flora Stewart

In Memorium: Roger Stewart (1915 - 2003, age 87)

In Memorium: Flora Stewart (1922 - 2005, age 83)

The two of you are owed the Mother of all Apologies by the owners of TLC Catering, other former neighbors, the County of San Joaquin, and the City of Manteca. They, of course, will not apologize to you, so I offer it to you on their behalf. I can do so because I took your place in the hell these individuals and entities created for you on Fishback Street during the last 16 and 18 years of your lives. I never met you, but I have come to experience firsthand your soul-weariness and intense frustration in dealing with the parties named above. I'm truly sorry the two of you went to your graves without relief from this bestial treatment, being in constant torment from your neighbors' noisy and illegal business operation, which crime was aided and abetted by a long succession of City minions.

What should have been your quiet sunset of years turned into a truly demonic hell when Lynda Allen and Theresa Brassey took up residence next door, recruited Corky Greene and others, and dragged along their operating catering truck business. How could they get away with that?

I apologize for the Grubb's, the Mego's, and the County for abjectly failing to resolve the illegal mobile home problem before November 1987. Your former neighbors didn't do you any favors. Nice enough folks, the Mego's, who had no business operation on their property when the east side of Fishback was made part of the City of Manteca and zoned R-1 Residential. You watched Lewis and Anne Mego deal with the myriad changes attending annexation, particularly selling most of their parcel to the school district, leaving them with an half-acre, their house, and a scruffy, unpermitted mobile home left over from when Dale and Georgiana Grubb owned the property and let the permit lapse.

I apologize for Allen and Brassey not having a clue how or where to properly set up a business. That confounded mobile home! When Allen and Brassey saw it in 1987, they immediately connived to use it as storage, as a commissary, for their catering trucks. They never got - or even asked for - conditional use permits from the City for either the mobile home or for their business use. They also failed to file a Fictitious Business Name statement with the County Recorder for their first year-and-a-half on the property. How did they get away with all that? Of course, they told you they had permits for their trucks from the County Health Department - with the emphasis on "County" - as if to imply they didn't need any land use permits from the City.

I apologize for lazy, reluctant City department officials, and for Allen and Brassey lying about their origins in order to evade permits. TLC's comings and goings constantly disturbing your after-midnight hours was bad enough for the first few years, but then another truck and another driver was added. This area had always been a residential area, and a new Home Occupation ordinance was adopted by the City in 1992, yet Allen and Brassey kept growing their business bigger and bigger. Something just wasn't right. You tried calling the City's business office, or code enforcement, or planning, but you got the departmental run-around for a long time. Finally, an "investigation" was made, which consisted of a few conversations with the lawbreakers, who lied about the scope of their business operation and remain stubbornly and willfully ignorant about the property being in the City when they moved the business onto it.

I apologize again for Allen and Brassey and Greene, who dismissed your legitimate needs (sleep, for instance) and turned their malicious, vindictive natures upon you, or anyone, who spoke against them. For example, after feeling some pressure from me, a year ago they deliberately added MORE noise to their already noisy operation by moving their outdoor radio speaker very close and pointing it my direction.

I apologize for incompetent City officials, who, through laziness or overwork, did not challenge and deny the liars' claims. In a classic case of the whistleblower getting punished, all hell broke loose upon your property after that farce of an "investigation." A HUGE MISTAKE was made when Manteca officials believed your neighbors' lies, without verifying the facts, and wrote a few false and fateful words on City letterhead. With that bogus "grandfather" letter, the City basically bound you, gagged you, and held you down, while your neighbors vilely subjected you to "waterboard torture" with around-the-clock noise. Allen and Brassey took that letter to the Health Department and "legalized" and expanded the commissary operation far beyond the mobile home: without a City permit, your neighbors hauled a trailer with retrofitted refrigeration units on top onto their property; without a City permit, they poured a concrete slab, behind their outbuilding and right up against your fence, to install a walk-in freezer with its compressor unit sitting on top; without a City permit, they built a ramshakle shed over part of the concrete slab to shelter the outdoor installation of a grossly noisy commercial icemaker, and mounted its condenser unit above it on the roof of the outbuilding, facing your house; without a City permit, they began receiving commercial vendor deliveries to the expanded commissary.... And the City refused to do anything for you concerning any of it!

I apologize for the many City functionaries, some still employed, who had the power to remedy this travesty but made no effort to do so, or fell far short of even mediocre performance. As with you, department after department "quarantined" me and my complaints. Proof of Allen's and Brassey's illegitimate status - the long overdue verification of facts - was handed to the Mayor and City Council over a year ago, but my experience with political animals was the same as yours; a stretch, a yawn, glazed eyes, further posterior spread - with a little flatulence thrown in for good measure, and a 5-0 vote for denial.

I apologize to your daughter, who lived in your house - with the hellish conditions described - for a year after Flora died, before I bought it.

I apologize for taking more than three years to get this cancerous catering company cut out and chemo'd - but I can report good news! Goaded along by my nuisance lawsuit, just this January Allen and Brassey quit running the infernal icemaker, and in February ceased running their last truck. Their rolling stock has For Sale signs posted on them (but they've pulled that stunt before.) They have abandoned much of their business equipment, although it remains on the property, rusting, disintegrating - for now, anyway. They didn't notify the Health Department that TLC Catering is out of business, so I did, by seeking copies of the truck and commissary permit cancellations. They still have not filed and published an Abandonment of Fictitious Business Name, but I'll see they do. Some tumbledown structures still exist contrary to building codes, but those will be reviewed shortly for demolition.

I apologize for neighbors and friends who did not – could not! - believe you or help you when you confided this impossible situation to them. I thought you two might like a short report that vindicates what you felt all along - that something was mightily wrong next door! Well, I proved you absolutely right. My aim is to restore this neighboring piece of property to a state of residential-only use, after the twenty-three years of fouling at the hands of Lynda Allen and Theresa Brassey.

Again, I apologize for the City of Manteca. It would be nice if code enforcement and zoning officials stepped up to do their unfinished jobs - now that the heavy lifting is done. My expectations in that regard are not very high, but I will be moving on City Hall this fall.

Good Riddance after 23 years:

TLC Catering on Fishback Street (1987 - 2010)

(May You Twist in Hell)

The Travel Trailer Shim Sham Shimmy

Well, I must admit, Manteca's code enforcement response time is certainly improving. Someone was out a mere 25 hours after I hit the enter key on the City's Government-Reach-Out-And-Touch/Love/Cuddle-Your-Neighbor online reporting system. That response time is warp speed 9 quicker than my first tooth-and-nail attempts to get ANY feedback from the city in March and April of 2008 (I was Sooo naive then.) Even so, Animal Control has them beat at only one hour turnaround last September 8th (2009), after I delivered my complaint in person. (Of course, the Animal Control officer still managed to screw up that investigation...)

Anyway, the white pickup truck with "Manteca Police Department" stenciled on the door, and "Code Enforcement" stenciled under that, pulled up to the curb on the east side of the street and took pictures of the travel trailer parked across the street. He pulled up the street a few rods, and down the street a chain or two, probably to photograph the various perspectives and to write observation notes. All told, approximately ten to fifteen minutes were spent on this endeavor.

Here is the online report that prompted the visit:

Thank you for contacting the City of Manteca. We appreciate the opportunity to assist you and assure you a positive experience with us.

The Complaint you submitted was:
- - - - - - - - -
Request type: Boats, Trailers, RVs on Private Property

Description: Travel trailer at 785 Fishback Street is not in compliance with MMC 17.15.105 Parking and storage of mobile vehicles and accessories on pre July 19, 1978 parcels.

A Wilderness Advantage travel trailer by Fleetwood is parked in the home's side yard, open to view from the front (east) and unscreened on the side (south). In spite of it being there for over two years, no DMV licensing is displayed anywhere on it, only the dealer promo info. The trailer's pop-out extension has been deployed the entire time, the trailer is plugged into an outside electrical outlet, and there are indications someone is using it regularly or living in it.

The January 2009 ordinance's six-month enforcement "grace period" has long since expired.
- - - - - - - - -
Your request has been assigned to a [ed., an anonymous] city employee. You will receive a response within 5 days for this request. If it does take longer than this, please contact us by replying to this email.

The current expected due date is 12/10/09.


[Note: The 5-day response time means five "open for business" days. The tally has already included one every-other-Friday closure, three unpaid furlough days, two days for Thanksgiving, and four standard weekend days. So, add ten lost days to any 5+ days response.]

Yes, that RV has been parked there, unmoving, for a long, long time. And this complaint is regarding the property across the street from me - not the Neighbors From Hell (NsFH) property next door.

(Shhh... I'm not supposed to complain about them... Remember, I was quarantined by the Chief of Police from complaining to the City of Manteca about Lynda Allen and Theresa Brassey illegally operating their TLC Catering business, with the help of Corky Greene, from 810 Fishback Street, the residential property zoned R-1 since annexation where the three of them live, work, play, collect animals and other friends, jabber, eat, make ice, make love, make noise at all hours, take commercial deliveries, restock their illegal commissary building, build all sorts of unpermitted noncompliant structures, etc.)

The new ordinance regarding mobile accessory vehicles went into effect January of this year, so one might ask, "What about grandfathering?"

The answer is: "No grandfathering allowed." These are mobile vehicles and can be moved around while screening and parking surfaces can be retrofitted. If the vehicle is too big or the necessary improvements cannot or will not be made, then the arrangement is not permitted and the vehicle must be hauled off to an appropriate rental space somewhere else.

The BIG question on the readers' minds right now is, "Why is this guy picking on the poor unfortunates who live across the street?" The answer is, "I have (almost) nothing against the owners of the property across the street. I have never met them."

Yet this entire campaign is deadly serious and the traps are baited for more than one prey.

Sun Post Story and Council Meeting Agenda Item

Wow! This is the third media exposure this week regarding my case. Cheryl Winkelman did a wonderful job putting the dry facts of my report together with the personal impacts of such a horrible nuisance continuously inflicted by my insensate neighbors.

Page 7

Page 8

I took a few minutes to carefully read Cheryl's article after I picked up several copies of the paper from the Sun Post office downtown. Then I stopped by City Hall to drop one copy off and to review the meeting binder made available to the public in the City Clerk's office.

My request at the February 17th meeting asked that my - intact - report be part of the next meeting's binders. Ms. Tilton did ask the council members to bring back their copies of the report for that purpose, but the public binder in her office did not have my report. My intent is to have the research report become part of the public record.

The Council meeting agenda item reads, "Receive report on complaints filed by Richard Behling regarding property at 810 Fishback Road, review the actions taken by various City departments and consider providing direction to staff as appropriate." Nowhere is my report mentioned. The only "report" backing up the agenda item is Police Chief Bricker's rehash of his December 3rd "closure" letter, with a few additions. I guess that's OK, because it demonstrates publicly to the Council just how little City Staff accomplished over the year - hampered as they were by the unverified misconception they were dealing with an allegedly GRANDFATHERED business.

My best approach is merely to say, "Where the Chief's report leaves off (Dec 3), my report begins (researched in Dec and Jan.)" That cuts off the contentious piecemealing and unproductive wheelspinning of the past. That refocuses everyone's attention back on the proofs of the fraudulent grandfathering claim made by Allen & Brassey. No emotional rancor - just calm logic as I lead them, step by step, through their re-education of common law and municipal code.

Despite the City's Spin Doctor's posturing and meally-mouthing, I believe everything is now in place for the "showdown" at City Hall predicted by the press.

.