I CAN'T HEAR YOU! (aka, Shooting Yourself in the Foot)

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It is apparent my new occupation is comedy writer, a suggested title offered me by the author of the book, Neighbors From Hell. My inexhaustible source, the neighboring apple-colored sisters (Red, Yellow, and Green), provide a constantly-refreshing well of not only noise, lies and idiocy, but also...

stupid people tricks.

On Saturday at 08:40 hrs, the outdoor radio was turned on and cranked up more loudly than usual. Eighty-nine ear-splitting minutes later (10:09 hrs), the following hilarious exchange took place between Yellow and Green. Yellow was apparently rockin' out too close to the radio and suffered aural impairment from her own retaliatory noise nuisance device.

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Corky: {muffled...}

Lynda: What?

Corky: {a couple seconds.} {muffled...} the sprinkler?

Lynda: {brain cells burning. exasperated.} What, Green?

Corky: {still muffled...} the sprinklers.

Lynda: I can't hear you! {The eff'n radio is too loud!}

Corky: {yelling} You need to change the sprinklers!

Lynda: Oh. OK.

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Ya gotta love dopes like this - the same exceedingly clever neanderthals* who turned the radio on for ONE MINUTE at 07:06 hrs that same morning. Actually, they were beginning their usual daily noise harrassment, but some of my friends showed up right then... and the BDGs don't like witnesses to their amentia.** Sorta makes you wonder,

"What's going to happen when they shoot themselves in the OTHER bare foot?"

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* neanderthal (n) boor, lout, oaf, swine, piggy, prehistoric ("grandfathered" grandmothers?); ill-mannered and coarse and contemptible in behavior or appearance.

** amentia (n) idiocy; extreme mental retardation

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