Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Disturbed Skipper of Ship of Fools on Sea of Idiots

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Karma is an awesome thing!
patron saint of karmic payback

While not always wonderful in one's own life, payback can be downright hilarious when observed in someone else's.

To the west lives a pack of fools, who love nothing more than to crank up their outdoor speakers with some melodic trash while partying - outside, of course. (I don't know which hurts worse: that all his [or her] neighbors must be subjected to such crude behavior; or, that we are never invited to the parties.) Lacking more culturally "sensitive" terms, I must revert to somewhat more unsympathetic and politically incorrect words in categorizing the tasteless entertainment noise as "Mexican music."

These dolts infest the property at 700 Airport Way in the City of Manteca, County of San Joaquin, State of California, on a 1.88-acre lot that extends east to mid-block. Neighbors backing up to them also have large, deep lots that can be used for horses or other animals. Below are screen prints of a Google satellite shot and an SJ County parcel map for the location context.


This odious concertina music, with its crooning vocalists, often plays during the daytime and can be heard for at least a quarter-mile, especially when the northwest Delta breezes drift the noisesome* vibrations this direction. During the quiet of the night it can be heard even farther. They must believe that everyone within earshot actually likes the stuff. The force-feeding is nauseating.

The problem becomes acute at night, however, when the offenders periodically continue the revelry past 10:00 p.m., sometimes to midnight or 2:00 a.m. I have been awakened by the Mexican music a few times late at night. Such has been noted - and called in to the Manteca Police Department - on March 9th, June 12th, July 3rd, August 21st, and September 5th of this year alone.

Most entertaining - by far - was last Sunday on the evening of September 5th, two days ago. Upon returning home late, around 21:00 hours, I noticed the Mexican music drifting across the deep lots. Easygoing, peace loving neighbor that I am, I shrugged it off because, according to the [apparently toothless] local noise ordinance, he/she had until 22:00 hours to terminate the party noise.

A little after ten, I was surprised to see the Barefoot Dirty Girls' yard light come on. They are turn into squash gourds pumpkins much earlier than ten, going comatose from a hard day of yapping, toking, watching their foreign language speaking hired helpers work, playing picnic table games, and generally doing nothing. They positively go brain dead early (as shown by the facts of their recording the last quarter of their last Worshipful Raiders game on their brand new giant indoor Sony TV because it extended past 9:00 p.m. - while their own yard radio played... across the fence... outside... the whole time.)


Poor Mellow "Lynda" Yellow... she couldn't sleep! At 10:10 p.m., the Mexican music was keeping her up. (And, God knows, she's missed too much beauty sleep already in her almost six decades!) The pinch-faced woman gathered her tattered robe tightly and in slippers shuffled out of her house, out of the rebuilt lattice porch, across the yard, and into the outbuilding. Moments later she shuffled back into her house.

"Holy $%#@#, Batman!"** That was a slap-my-face Ah-Ha moment*** - an ironic shock of epic proportions - a perfect example of Karma, the incontestable dragon, coming back to bite Lynda's skinny ass. Not only was the benighted woman bothered by the Moo-zĕk'-ah, she was MORE bothered by the possibility that it was HER OWN YARD RADIO keeping her up. Her paranoia forced her to get up and check that her outdoor radio was turned off before calling the police... or, because I might call the police on her.

I have laughed ever since that this Mega-champion of round-the-clock noxious noise was rousted from her newly insulated and rebuilt house by someone else's yard radio a quarter-mile away! Yet she maintains her own daily nuisance radio just over my fence and expects me not to object.

An idiot. An idiot on dope. A disturbed idiot on dope.
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* noi·some (noism) (adj.) 1. Offensively malodorous; offensive to the point of arousing disgust; foul: a noisome odor. 2. Causing or able to cause nausea; "a nauseating smell"; "nauseous offal"; "a sickening stench." Loathsome, nauseating, nauseous, queasy, sickening, vile, offensive. 3. Unwholesome - detrimental to physical or moral well-being; "unwholesome food"; "unwholesome habits like smoking tobacco or marijuana." [Middle English. noiesom: noie, harm (short for anoi, annoyance, from Old French, from anoier, to annoy; see annoy) + -som, adj. suff.; see -some1.]

** A grammatical ejaculation commonly transliterated**** as "Ah-Ha."

*** Wendy Piersall - "I like to describe Ah-Ha Moments as those when the intellectual mind, the emotional mind and the physical body all come to an agreement at the same time. It’s when you have an idea or problem that you have struggled with in your mind, it caused icky or conflicting emotions, and your body usually tensed up or got stressed out when you thought about it. Then in one fell swoop, your mind 'gets it' – you have a flood (tiny or huge) of good emotions, and you feel a physical sense of relief and happiness, joy or resolution."

**** Transliterate: to write or print a letter or word using the closest corresponding letters of a different alphabet or language. Modern transliteracy is the ability to read, write and interact across a range of platforms, tools and media from signing and orality through handwriting, print, TV, radio and film, to digital social networks.
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Thursday, September 2, 2010

Sierra High School Scores Touchback on BDGs


This is the follow up to last week's communication with the Manteca Unified School District.

Monday morning this email arrived from MUSD HQ:
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From: Jason Messer

Sent: Monday, August 30, 2010 11:23 AM
Subject: RE: Sierra High School v. Marijuana Farm

Good morning Mr. Behling,


Thank you for bringing this issue to my attention. Student safety is, and will continue to be our number one priority. I have already asked staff to make contact with the Manteca Police Department and also to report back to me the current status of the situation and how we will be addressing the issue. As student safety is important to all of our Board Members I will be sending them a hard copy of your email on Friday. Not all Board members have active email accounts so they may not have received your original email. Again, thank you for your email.







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Tuesday morning, I heard from another board member. Other activity took place that day and Wednesday, and on Thursday morning comes this, in an email forwarded by Clara Schmiedt [cschmiedt@musd.net].

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From: Susan Pearson
Sent: Wednesday, September 01, 2010 1:28 PM
Subject: RE: Sierra High School v. Marijuana Farm


Great News – Our SRO, Eva, already met with the narc officers. They have already gone to the site and informed the homeowner of the new laws that just went into effect. They gave the property owner two weeks to totally enclose his [her] operation, per the new law. It has been assigned Case # 10-24475.


We will physically check the back of school in two weeks to make sure no marijuana plants are visible. By the way, the law now allows for the growing of 50 [?]* plants for medicinal purposes, but they must be enclosed in a structure.


Thanks, Eva!!


SIERRA HIGH SCHOOL
Susan Pearson, Principal
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One more nail in the TLC / BDG coffin. {Strike up the band with the Beatles', "We All Live In a Yellow Submarine" ... or next to it.}



Perhaps that's why the Barefoot Dirty Girls' attorney called, also Thursday morning, to say his clients were selling the house [really?!] and moving to Oregon. Really?! If they don't, then their attorney is party to their lie - but that should come as no surprise to anyone. Besides, there is still the other illegal fenceline shed, the walk-in, the icemaker, all the vehicles, and other s**t that needs to be removed or demolished before that property is saleable.




When the big moving trucks
Pull away from the house,
Leaving naught but a crumb
E'en too small for a mouse...

Then I will believe...


They are finally gone.






My instruction to my attorney? Hold steady on course; the fat lady (not Guts[y] Green) is just warming up.

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* People v. Kelly, California Supreme Court, January 2010, disposed of numerical limits in the law, so where this new number came from is unknown [to me].
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Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Flea Market Under the Big Top

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Step right up! Step right up!


Have we got some great deals for you!


We, the apple-colored Barefoot Dirty Girls,
Red, Yellow and Green, are selling ourselves it all!

Come on down to 810 Fishback Street in Manteca, California!
Close out! We're selling it down to the bare lot!
(Gettin' the hell out of Manteca and movin' to Oregon!)

Just look for the For Sale signs on [almost] everything!

We've got vehicles galore!
Registered, unregistered,  shouldn't-be-legal, and inoperative!

Last-leg commercial equipment! Bally walk-in freezer (must take concrete pad too),
porch chest freezer, Kenmore upright freezer, Admiral refrigerator, Scotsman icemaker!

Tic-tac; Brick-a-brack; Give six dogs a bone!

Fixtures; Truck-sized cookware; Yard radio!

Junk items, all sorts; Really shitty stuff; Flotsam and Jetsam!

Experienced junk yard dogs; [Experienced?!] house dogs!

Klepto'd Amassed over years, sheltered forever!

We pass the stealings savings on to you!

Hurry, before it's all scrapped gone!

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(* Will trade for marijuana growing and processing apparatus *)
(Tokin' Takin' that to Oregon, too!)
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Animal Control is the Cat's Meow!

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Knock me over with a feather!

Yesterday's too-many-dogs complaint sent on the City of Manteca online system was closed today at 10:55 a.m. with the following mesage:

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---If replying by email, enter your reply above this line--- (Please allow up to 15 minutes to update your request record when replying by email)



Dear Richard,

Your request # 455062 has been resolved with the resolution:

I went to 810 Fishback and Issued Courtesy Notice 6408 to Lynda advising her she is only allowed to have 3 dogs on her property, and the others she would need to fine (sic) homes for.


This is in reference to the Complaint on Other (animals) you submitted on 08/31/2010 6:52 PM


Location: 810 Fishback Street


Description: The owners keep six dogs on the residential property. Code only allows for three dogs and/or cats.


We are committed to providing you the best service we can. We would appreciate you filling out an online survey on how this request was handled.

An automated survey form asked my level of satisfaction. My answer:

So fast... so simple... job done!

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NsFH Avec Ou Sans Moteur (With or Without Motor)

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Exhumations Will Continue Until Rehabilitation Occurs


Lynda and Theresa must be the Father and Mother of all Packrats! (or is that Mother and Father?)

During the end-of-July demolition of the illegal mobile home and the illegal shanty shed attached to its backside, there emerged into the sunsine a previously unseen [and illegal] collection of inoperable inoperative vehicles (gotta use the same word as the city code so the code enforcement personnel don't get confused, even moreso than their usual confusion, paralysis, and impotence.)


These two "beauties" have been hidden from view for a very long time under accretions of flotsam and jetsam, deteriorating from deliberate disuse, serving as habitat for wasps, spiders, rodents (controlled only by feral felines) and as off-the-ground storage for junk of all stripes. Operability Operativity and roadworthiness are certainly missing, as are vehicle registrations and licensing.


Two titles within the Manteca Municipal Code (MMC) speak to the issue of harboring abandoned, wrecked, or inoperable  inoperative vehicles - a chapter regarding abandoned vehicles and a chapter on nuisances. (And where have we heard about nuisances before? You're so right! My NsFH... Neighbors From Hell...)

8.20.010 Definitions. For the purposes of this chapter, the following words and phrases shall have the meanings respectively ascribed to them by this section:

A. “Abandoned vehicle” means a vehicle which is not currently registered with the California Department of Motor Vehicles and appears by sight to have been left to the elements.

B. “Dismantled vehicle” means a vehicle from which any part has been removed which removal prevents its lawful operation upon any highway.
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D. “Inoperative vehicle” means a vehicle which cannot be lawfully operated upon any highway.
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J. “Wrecked vehicle” means a vehicle which, due to physical impairment or damage, cannot be lawfully operated upon any highway. (Ord. 786 § 1, 1988; Ord. 765 § 1(part), 1987: prior code § 12A-14)


8.20.020 Findings—Nuisance declared. In addition to and in accordance with the determination made and the authority granted by the state under Section 22660 of the Vehicle Code to remove abandoned, wrecked, dismantled or inoperative vehicles or parts thereof as public nuisances, the city council makes the following findings and declarations: The accumulation and storage of abandoned, wrecked, dismantled or inoperative vehicles or parts thereof on private or public property not including highways is found to create a condition tending to reduce the value of private property, to promote blight and deterioration, to invite plundering, to create fire hazards, to constitute an attractive nuisance creating a hazard to the health and safety of minors, to create a harboring for rodents and insects and to be injurious to the health, safety and general welfare. Therefore, the presence of an abandoned, wrecked, dismantled or inoperative vehicle or parts thereof, on private or public property not including highways, except as expressly permitted in this chapter, is declared to constitute a public nuisance which may be abated as such in accordance with the provisions of the chapter. (Ord. 830 § 2, 1989: Ord. 765 § 1 (part), 1987: prior code § 12A-13)


8.20.030 Exemptions. This chapter shall not apply to:


A. A vehicle, or parts thereof, which is completely enclosed within a building in a lawful manner where it is not visible from the street or other public or private property.
MMC 17.53.020 Nuisances.


A. Unlawful Residential Property Nuisance. It is unlawful for any person owning, leasing, renting, occupying or having charge or possession of any residential property in the city to maintain or to allow to be maintained such property in such manner that any of the following conditions are found to exist thereon, except as may be allowed by any other provision of law, including provisions of city ordinances:
...
9. Wrecked or inoperable vehicles, vehicle parts or other articles or personal property that are abandoned or left in a state of partial construction or repair;

Gee, I wonder what excuses the City of Manteca, Code Enforcement Department, will dream up this round of inoperable vehicle complaints to avoid taking action?

If Code Enforcement uses the balls brains God gave them and cite these owners, this situation - with these NsFH - will perfectly illustrate the need of the administrative hearing procedure the city recently adopted. The BDG NsFH, Yellow and Red, will ignore the citation. The city will have to fine the BDGs and take them through an administrative hearing - and probably all the way to court.

Welcome to my world, boys. (I'll be happy to consult, for a fee.)

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Missa Pro Defunctis (Requiem) in Limerick

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REQUIEM for AUNTIE LYN
(Pro Forma)


uglywomanThere is this old shrew from Pinole
Whose life is a greedy black hole;
Though Red is her lover
And Green is her cover,*
Yet nothing accrues to her soul.

The ants and the roaches all tremble
When their big boss (they closely resemble)
Turns the key to their coach,
Streets of Tracy to poach,
While the icemaker stays back to rumble.

Her orders in high cackley voice
Are meant to leave one without choice
As they pierce the still air
With a malignant flair.
Her incipient demise? We rejoice!

Lest the reader should think that I'm crass -
(With the goal to kick her in the ass) -
'Tis her PAIN! Hard to suffer,
Let God quickly snuff her
Then we all'd be in good smokin' grass.

She leaves behind yards full of junk
And dress styles that really are punk.
The dogs, they will yap
As though still in her lap -
Please stuff them in with her in the trunk.

The radio, too, snuggle next to her head
And turn it up LOUD (‘cause she’s dead)
On Mega one-hunnerd
That acoustical canard
May the noise go with her to the shed.

After popping the cork and the bung,
All the crimes of this bitch will be sung,
‘Bout her leathery face
And complete lack of grace,
All back-stopped by her facile tongue.

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* two lines paraphrased from lyrics to Take It Easy, sung by the Eagles and reparaphrased below.
Lookin' for a [c]over who [wants to] blow my [l]over;
She's so...oo hard to find.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Tour: Barefoot Dirty Girls Dog Kennels

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... where there's always a special room for Rex!


Last September 8th, 2009, I told the City of Manteca Animal Control Department that five dogs, plus an assortment of cats, chickens, orangutans, spotted owls, California Condors, sturgeon, and Beluga whales, inhabited the single lot (APN 222-11-003) known as 810 Fishback Street.

I was mistaken... there are SIX canines - in addition to the other occupants of indeterminate species.

Please meet:







House dog #1













House dog #2














House dog #3














Yard dog #1













Yard dog #2












Yard dog #3









On her visit over a year ago, Animal Control Officer Peg Miller, in a spectacular leap of illogic, arrived at the conclusion that three dogs belonged to one address and two dogs belonged to the other address on the same parcel. This completely contradicts the fairly clear language of Municipal Code section 17.07.030, which reads:

In any district on a lot with a principal permitted use, no more than six small animals may be kept, provided none are kept for commercial use. Not more than three of such animals may be dogs or cats over ten weeks of age and not more than two may be pot belly pigs.

My speculations on the reasons for Ms. Miller's brain fart are:

  1. Theresa "Red" Brassey (filling in for the absent spokesmouth, Lynda "Yellow" Allen) filled the officers ears with that really old bullshit about having a "grandfathered" business, which occupied the mobile home at the second address, 812 Fishback Street (which never was a "house" or residence during the BDGs' twenty-three year possession.)
  2. Somehow, "grandfathered' status exempted them from the municipal code and allowed the BDGs to have extra dogs on the property to stand guard duty on the business assets.
  3. Without laying eyes on the excess four-footed charmers, Ms. Miller took the word of a charlatan and wrote it down on an official citation. (Hey, City of Manteca, are those your "best practices" for investigation and documention standards?)
  4. Peg was smoking some of the same "weed" Lynda now legally smokes. ("Hey, brah'... uh, pass me, uh... some chipsssh.")
Twice I submitted a written request to the Manteca Police Department to review Peg Miller's (mis)interpretation of the zoning law. Never did I receive an acknowledgement or a response. The letters must have disappeared into a black hole on the way to City Hall. (Oh, how I love to speculate in the absence of any emanations from the Black Hole!)

Some critical things have changed now.
  • First, there appears to be no TLC Catering operating from the property any more, although business assets still encumber the place. February 15, 2010 is the (not yet admitted) end date of TLC Catering.
  • Second, the mobile home, designated as 812 Fishback Street, was demolished over the course of a week commencing July 20, 2010. The illegal structure no longer exists.
These are two conditions that I have been waiting for before renewing my complaint of the Barefoot Dirty Girls harboring too many dogs on their residential property.



I’ll be very interested to hear whatever new rationale Animal Control dreams up now - or what lies the BDGs attempt to spin - seeing as how there is no longer an operating business and only one "house" exists on the property.

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