The True Meaning of T.L.C. (Yes, Virginia, There Is A Grinch.)

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T-Boz, Left Eye, and Chilli (TLC)

I hate to think of the last four years, wracking my brain, trying to think of the true meaning of TLC! All that wasted time! All that being Mr. Nice Guy, giving the benefit of the doubt to the three poor, miserable wretches ekeing out a living selling chips and sodas {and something weird wrapped in tortillas.} All that vain worry about the Barefoot Dirty Girls chilling their foodstuffs with ice flecked with doggie saliva, and upside down ice buckets used as step stools in the dirt.

Wherever did those hillbillies from the Contra Costa come up with this acronym?

• Did it mean (as most people think) Tender Loving Care? Perish the thought! That is completely contradicted by the personalities, mannerisms and lives of the BDG's. It is not cosmically possible.
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• Maybe they named it after "T-Boz" (Tionne Watkins), "Left Eye" (Lisa Lopes), and "Chilli" (Rozonda Thomas), the BDG's alter egos in a girl band called TLC. Strong possibility here but, with such an horrible accident of naming, those girls do not deserve to be painted with the BDG's broad acid brush. The BDG's possessed absolutely NO musical abilities whatsoever and, besides, they fancied themselves more like these three:
  
  

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• Did it stand for (Rotund Red) Teresa Teressa Theresa Brassey, (Lyin') Lynda Allen and (Guts[y]) Corky Green? No, not if the name was chosen before T & L moved to Manteca, because flabby Guts[y] joined the ménage à trois later. Good try, though.
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• Could its intuitive etymology confirm Three Lying  _unts... uhn, Three Lying Culinaries? Getting warmer!
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• How about Three Little Pigs? (Aw, come on!) Colder.

Ok, Ok...

• "L" is easy, it's a given - the embodiment and immortalization of L/L, or Lyin' Lynda.
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• "C" has a narrow array of possibilities, primarily Cxxt, Culinary, and Cod Liver Oil; or, in light of patterns being repeated recently with non-payment of taxes, the winner is Cheat. Now, something for:
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• "T"... Taxes? {No, too repetitious} Three? {No, too mundane for such goddesses} Hmm... Lie, Cheat,... Steal! Ahhh, ahhh... Thieving!

Three truly perfect descriptors for the Satan spawn downwind!

- The true meaning of TLC Catering -

Thievin', Lyin', Cheatin' Cxxts Culinaries

The Barefoot Dirty Girls have forever tainted the acronym, TLC. Whoever uses it in the future will suffer under its poisonous stigma. Never will I think of TLC the same way again.


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I'll Not Miss Them When They Go...

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April 1, 2011

"Oprah Lyin' Lynda has been consistently listed with Jesus, Elvis and Cleopatra (really!)
as among those who have had the mightiest impact on the world. In general,
you have to be really, truly dead to have such stuff said about you."
(source)

(Eagerly anticipating her blessed entry into eternity,
I've already written the Requiem and Eulogy.)

- - - - -

The endlessly entertaining antics of the Barefoot Dirty Girls go on... uh,...endlessly. The libretto for this soap opera has endless pointless hopelessly convoluted plot twists that reveal the true motives of the characters.

We already know most of the narcissistic egotisms of Lyin' Lynda, but now the paparazzi aspect of her harrassing stalker personality has emerged full blown. No less than three times in the 56 minutes starting at 6:54 a.m., she and her ganja babe, Roll 'Em Red, "paced" between their house and mine. Showing some sort of Amazon tribal solidarity, L/L and R/R were wearing a uniform, their patented two-faced reversible sports jackets - a highly appropriate choice for them. (As a small credit to their artless tastes, however, they at least had the jackets turned to the same "face;" it just wouldn't be right otherwise.) At last, L/L had a chance to put her camera to use, attempting to take pictures of me in my side yard not viewable on her surveillance cameras. The Death's Head grin on her tightly lined, in-danger-of-splitting, leathery face confirmed the diagnosis.

- - - - -


Cork-Screwed

Speaking of sweet ganja babes*... The Kid in the boxy little car came over again, third day in a row. (Damn! got that song, "Little Boxes," running in my head again.) This time he brought another old woman with him, who greeted Auntie Lyn with a hug and R/R with a handshake. Cork-Screwed, who had been bouncing around working in the back in only her training bra (again), came streaking up to the half-together gazebo to retrieve her black T-shirt (who wears black on an eighty-plus degree day?), only to find the Kid and the whole fam-damily as witnesses to her exhibitionism; she rated only a nod. ("Note to self," thought the visitor, "I'm not leaving my Kid around this s--t.") (2nd note: All day long that shirt was on and off more often than Lyin' Lynda's mouth was flapping.)

What C.J. thinks she looks like...

- - - - -

Rotunda Red

Speaking of sweet ganja babes - and beyond - Roll 'Em Red is not built for... shall we call it "naturism"?... but a different vice. As the deadly dull visit  love fest wore on, Auntie Red and the Kid strolled out to the MJ Sheds for a little one-on-one education. {wink! wink!} Who better to bring up the next generation than the brightest of apothecary to the BDG's, the one with a little book-learnin' and tons of hash-slingin' and vast experience a season in DIY herbiculture and drug-craft, all legal-like? (Go online, pay your $125 and get a "420 card," which bestows instant brilliance on the recipient, and then proceed with your descent from Dope... to Dopier... to Dopiest... to BDG.) Good luck with that education.

As a witness to the BDG's long history of evasion, pretense, and prevaricating, that last little episode confirms that, even being watched, these three will skirt and break this sketchiest of California's drug laws, the Compaaaasionate Use Act of 1996.

To wrap up the visit, the BDG's escorted Mama Bear and her cub to the East End to interest them in one of their innumerable vehicles. Odd choice, though, the Trash Truck couldn't get it up start up. Nope, Cork-Screwed had to go wheel out her sex toys battery charger and juice the old girl up. Not to worry, Kid, it's for the best. That beater's owners myopically missed the State of California's amnesty period for gross polluters. That truck should be turned in whenever it goes off the property.

Trash Truck

Besides, your Auntie Lyn, the Angel of Trash, still wants to be buried in her beloved Trash Truck... or in the relic MFPU. She doesn't know which, won't decide, can't figure out how to decide... you get the picture.

While hanging out working earlier in the day out in the East End, a few long items were loaded into Lyin' Lynda's Big-Ass Black Pickup, which Cork-Screwed hauled away, returning unladen 32 minutes later.

A semi-official source (albeit unreliable, even adversarial) revealed that all the BDG's frenetic purging activity (including Cork-Screwed's obsession with weed-killer?) is prelude to them moving. Let me tell you, that was a real knee-slapper! Someone was lying - again! still! (Not the Oregon story again!) I didn't know whether to laugh or cry - or, that is, guffaw in derision or shed tears of joy. My bet is on this being a desperate repetition of the same, lame deflective lie that Lyin' Lynda shoots off whenever the heat gets too hot. Like a dog returns to her vomit, and a sow to her wallow, Lyin' Lynda always returns to her cesspool of lies and deceptions.**

The crying shame is that certain people (her targets) are paralyzed by her verbal flash-bang and actually believe her, or at least doubt themselves, long enough for her to shift the focus and assiduously shovel blame onto someone else with more out-and-out lies, semi-plausible half-truths, oily innuendos, and non-stop yammering. She lies and self-justifies because she knows she evaporates if she's quiet, yet not realizing she is already devoid of any redeeming social value (one definition of pornography, Miller v. California, 1973.) Those who believe her or gullibly repeat her mutterings are patsies, deceived accessories - part of the problem, not the solution.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -
* Michael Franti & Spearhead - Ganja Babe

I wanna make it slow

Sensemille

I wanna make it slow

Make me feel ya

Heavy medicine

ya see my eyes are feeling red again

I'm bringin' light

like Thomas funky Edison

been in the desert for forty seven days

Purple Haze

the poison that I tasted never changed

turn up the woofers so I can feel the beat

vibrate my belly like a bomb in harmony

summer heat

my back is sticking to me to the seat

bare feet

tank top and shorts is all ya need

summer breeze

I'm feelin' kinda fine

I'm rollin with my shorty all the time

wind and grind lovely shake your behind

cinnamon skin be bringing sin to my mind

but whether or not the weather's hot

or the weather's cold

I'm wrapping her like a blanket with my whole soul

so that she can feel me

like Coca Cola I'm the woo-o-oh oh the sweet thing

my girl lollipop she growing mad crops

she rollin' herbs everyday

at about 4 o' clock

tick tock

strike the hammer while the Iron's hot

ooh girl watcha got cooking in the pot

see Mary Mary quite contrary

how does your garden grow?

Hydrophonic ultra supersonic

or does it grow naturally slow?

(Chorus)

Ganja babe my sweet ganja babe

I love tha way ya love me and the way ya misbehavin'

ganja babe my sweet ganja babe

come wake body-ody take my mind away

Everybody get down and do the boogaloo

just like the cover of I want you

yoo hooo look watcha gonna do

watcha gonna do when the rent comes due

round up the posse and call up the crew

5 bucks at the door and ya bring ya own booze

call ya neighbor 'cause they can come too

be sure and bring ya records 'cause I only got a few

so baa baa black sheep have you any wool

yes sir, yes sir a nickle bagful

one for my partner one for my crew

some for my ganja baby she needs 2

cuz just like me they want to be... high!

(Chorus)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
** 2 Peter 2:22  The dog is turned to her own vomit again, and the sow that was washed, to her wallowing in the mire.


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The Continually Disgorging Cornucopia of Detritus

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C.D.C.D. BDG
(say it fast five times...)

I am flabbergasted! - near to speechless!! - at just how much useless trash treasured trophies three Barefoot Dirty Girls, six dogs, a chicken, and a cat can cram into such a small space. The shanty shed, on its illegal concrete pad, continues to disgorge load after load from the inexhaustible heap of rubbish stored inside it and the Bally walk-in freezer.

Bally freezer, left foreground; shanty shed, right foreground.
Derisively known as Icemaker Corral, home of the ice-chewing dog.
(Pic posted November 12, 2008)

This new-found Spring cleaning fetish is completely out of character for Lyin' Lynda, Re-Upholstered Red, and Cork-Screwed Green. One wonders if, maybe, there's a code enforcement reason behind it? Perhaps a financial reason?...

{brain flash} Wait! Wait! It's a change of heart and they're finally getting ready to move to Oregon?!

Anyway, Cork-Screwed's flashing episode yesterday was, I'm unsure, an expression of... what?... anger, frustration, helplessness? self-loathing, perhaps?... on her own behalf and that of her dominatrices mistresses, Lyin' Lynda and Roly-Poly Red, who were party to the unveiling (assuredly, nothin' those two haven't seen before.) So audacious and incredible was the "in-your-face" presentation that I forgot to review the immediately preceding time frame for their mind-altering drug use.

Lest one thinks this is merely another example of BDG abberant behavior, keep in mind that Cork-Screwed was only mimicking Resectioned Red's own flash and waggle dance on the 16th of January.

- - - - - - - - - -



Red Letter Day -
September 24, 2010

The following posts document the river of trash that - sometimes flooding - slowly flows and eddies through Icemaker Corral:

July 2010 - Sliding number puzzle of trash

Mon, Sep 20, 2010 - yard sale begins

September 2010 - Large appliances removed (to the reconstructed back porch!)

Fri, Sep 24, 2010 - Icemaker removed

Sat, Jan 15 - Budget moving van

Fri-Sat, Jan 21-22 - Pickup and trailer, then another loaded pickup

- - - - - - - - - -

Yup, officer, tha's her, all right.
Hey, she could be a model
for geriatric Lipo-Zapp!

 

Tue, Mar 29 - Pickup load from shanty shed (with gratuitous flash.) Cork-Screwed first staged the detritus for Roly-Poly's inspection and Lyin' Lynda's veto, then they loaded it up and shuttled it off to somewhere else (flea market, maybe?), taking a loaded Playmate cooler along, and returning about seven hours later.

(Poor R/R had to stay home, shuffle dogs, do the laundry, nap, tend the marijuana grow, and toke her joints alone. So sad... so sad... just doesn't have the knobbles for heavy lifting anymore... 'nuther hit...)

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Wed, Mar 30 - Breaking news.

F Another garbage triage going on this morning.

D Disappearing bottoms and house dogs (vanished before inspectors arrived for appointment.)

L Visitors get the tour (it seems everyone except plaintiff and attorney, as requested.)

K Mosquito breeding pond overturned (after four years.) {idiots!}

J One camera down (most likely only temporary.)


...
Details to follow. Keep your channel set here.
...
Don't touch that dial!

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Cork-Screwed Beats Roly-Poly In Flashing Cameras

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Cork-Screwed Green flips and flops...
Yes? No? ... Yes? No?





New Big Brassey Boobs
"Save Show Those Ta-Ta's"
Will the nightmare never end?




Speaking of nightmares, next thing ya' know, Lyin' Lynda's gonna put some skin in this game - something she's been feverishly dodging from the beginning.



Wha' skin'z he talkin' 'bout?



- - - - - - - - - - - -

See? Really weird things happen when the
Barefoot Dirty Girls and their "friends" get stoned.
That's some crazy shit they're growing and smoking!

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Second String Takes The Field

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Source


A new millenium new day new thought has dawned in Manteca's Animal Control department - "We are no match for Lyin' Lynda and Resectioned Red. It's time for a lateral pass to the C.E. professionals."

And to help the second-stringers get their heads outta their asses into the game, I provided to them a lushly illustrated twelve-page history of the six prior contacts I have had with the City of Manteca over this one item alone. This is now the seventh. (They'll probably claim to read it, but only look at the centerfolds.)

Below is the cover letter. Everything else has appeared in this blog before, except for the security camera stills.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

City of Manteca
Code Enforcement Dept
1001 W. Center Street
Manteca, CA 95337

March 3, 2011

Dear sirs,

As shown by the within documentation, this complaint has been in existence for eighteen months. Despite the very best efforts of Animal Control personnel there are still at least seven dogs and cats being kept by their fossilized owners on a residential lot in the City of Manteca.

The owners and the property in question are:

Lynda Allen & Theresa Brassey
810 Fishback Street
Manteca, CA 95337

To aid you in identifying and counting the canines and feline in question, I have provided pictures of the animals from 2009, and security camera stills from last month (February) after impotent Animal Control threw up their hands.

The large dogs are named Gus, Blue, and Whiskey; one of the small dogs is named Rufus. Lynda calls them “her kids” in Answer #4, below.

Please see to it that the number of dogs and cats on the property is reduced to no more than three, in order to conform to Manteca Municipal Code, Section 17.07.030.

Sincerely yours,


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Sing Along: "Lynda's Boxes In Manteca, All Made Out of Ticky-Tacky"

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Little Boxes, San Leandro, All Made Out of Ticky-Tacky...

On a hillside: Bay-O-Vista Development.
Access: I-580 to San Leandro; exit Estudillo East; right on Benedict Dr.; left on View Dr.
Local High School: San Leandro H.S. (Home of the Pirates - "Arrgghh!")

Sample street names: Skyview, Marineview, Harborview, Longview, Lakeview.

Little Boxes, by Malvina Reynolds (she sings it here; click Season 1, Episode 1)

Little boxes on the hillside,
Little boxes made of ticky-tacky,
Little boxes, little boxes,
Little boxes, all the same.

There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses
All go to the university,
And they all get put in boxes,
Little boxes, all the same.

And there's doctors and there's lawyers
And business executives,
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf-course,
And drink their Martini dry,
And they all have pretty children,
And the children go to school.

And the children go to summer camp
And then to the university,
And they all get put in boxes
And they all come out the same.

And the boys go into business,
And marry, and raise a family,
And they all get put in boxes,
Little boxes, all the same.

There's a green one and a pink one
And a blue one and a yellow one
And they're all made out of ticky-tacky
And they all look just the same.

See Malvina Reynolds: Song Lyrics and Poems at http://people.wku.edu/charles.smith/MALVINA/mr094.htm#1

Ms. Reynolds' song is a scathing swipe at the urban development patterns of Daly City, across the bay from San Leandro, but easily lends itself to any and all up-the-hillside developments.

The song also has direct application to Lyin' Lynda's half-acre compound on semi-rural Fishback Street (but still R-1 zoning) in flat-as-a-pancake Manteca, California. Every time I see L/L's pot shacks, or smell the odiferous cloud billowing from her Smokehouse, this song runs through my head.

During L/L's first season it was the big, white tent for her Wacky Tabacky (click Weeds Season 1, Episode 5 for the song by the NRBQ).

Then L/L's second season starts off with the Ticky-Tacky growing sheds ...

... kinda like houses and hotels on a Monopoly(c) Park Avenue...


...or whatever the heck those folks in the UK use as place names.


... or, a line of TLC migrant worker houses.

Photo credit

Ahhh, here comes the song again... "There's a green one, and a red one, and there's a yellow one, And they all are ticky-tacky, and they all reek just the same." Where I smell dopers, Lyin' Lynda sniffs money. "To hell with any laws," says she.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

My recently acquired insights into the seamy scam known as the Compaaaasionate Use Act of 1996 (aka, California's Medical Marijuana law; aka, de facto legalization):

• pushed by evil (the kingpin power brokers and money launderers)
• enacted by greed and blackmail (purchased lawyers masquerading as state legislators)
• abetted by corruption (toothless, spineless local politicians; hamstrung or dirty law enforcement; and a morbidly obese and deadly flatulent legal system)
• abused by riff-raff (the parasitic "takers" of society, who voted themselves a legal "right" to stupidity and given a special entitlement of protected status)
• protected and enforced by violent scum (street muscle who extort, rape, and kill the gold-laying geese)
• allowed to exist by the completely apathetic ("none of my business"), or the futily disorganized and ineffectual ("what can one person do?"), or the abjectly misguided ("victimless crime", "revenue source", "free country") majority of residents of the Great State of California.

Very interesting entertainment that Showtime series, Weeds.

- - -

And where did that second TLC Catering truck go? I suppose the BDG's are going to grow their primo weed here in Manteca and distribute it elsewhere via a network of Asian/Indian/Mexican catering trucks. What a perfect retail cover business! Cash business; low inventories: extreme mobility for sales, sales prospecting, and bulk movements; malleable menu condiments ("Want I sprinkle summa this guarnición on that for ya?"); deep fryers, grease traps, toilets for contraband disappearance before a bust; "no speek eenglase" defense while being questioned.

Of course, it'd be lots easier just to poke packets through the chain link fence between them and the high school. (But none of the three looks like Mary-Louise Parker! "We show you our faces, You're gone without traces..."  just sayin'...)

And the grow shed power consumption problem? "No problem!" crows Lyin' Lynda. "We got us'ns seven huge solar panels on the property to run these here growing sheds."

Of course, the Manteca Building Permit Department did NOT issue a permit for the photovoltaic system to Lyin' Lynda Allen. No... for some unknown reason, the photovoltaic permit was issued in 2004 to build the system on L/L's property, but the owners of the system were listed as the next door octogenarians, Roger and Flora Stewart of 786 Fishback Street. These people were totally unrelated to L/L and no City documentation to show a power-sharing contractual relationship between the two properties and owners. In fact, Roger had died (87 years old) a year before this permit was pulled, and Flora, his wife, 82 years old when the permit was pulled, died eighteen months later. Is this just another business-as-usual screw-up by the City of Manteca? Or, yet another example of Lyin' Lynda intimidating and defrauding the elderly neighbor woman? Who would be stupid enough, or frightened enough, or swindled enough, to lend their good name to Lyin' Lynda?

Oh... and TWO 10x12 growing sheds? Just how much dope do three honest women need? They should be very careful about spreading their joy painkiller around. Here's a cautionary tale from the Manteca Bulletin just before Valentine's Day.

Manteca Bulletin story (Feb 12th)

Manteca Bulletin story followup (Feb 13th)

News 10 story with a slideshow



{whistling the catchy tune} "Lynda's boxes in Manteca, B-D-G's growing ticky-tacky..." {whistling, whistling} "... and they all reek just the same."

.

Feb 2011... Sniffing Out Manteca Animal Control

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Running With His Five Other K9 Friends...

Yep, Lying' Lynda is real good at sniffing ass ... er, sniffing out... dog catchers, police officers, lawyers, and process servers. She can also sniff up the back side ... er, sniff up to... various white trash, catering truck drivers, insurance agents, and drug dealers. A finely honed life skill that a life-long NFH should be real proud of...

{Just sayin'...}

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
February 2011
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Wed 2/16/2011
New Request # 593614
Request type: Other (animals)
Description: Too many dogs/cats on residential lot.

(p.s. Lynda, Theresa or Corky, one is always home.)

* history cited *

{See ya next month...}

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January 2011
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Manteca-CRM: Closed Request # 574732
Sent: Tue 1/25/2011 7:29 AM
Your request # 574732 has been resolved with the resolution:
Lynda hasn't been home for me to check on the # of animals, so I'll be issuing her a citation through the mail in regards to having to [sic] many animals.

[Ref this post]

- - - - - - - - - -
Mon 1/17/2011 6:12 PM
New Request # 574732
The Complaint you submitted was:
Request type: Other (animals)
Location: 810 Fishback Street
Description: Too many animals on the property. MMC only allows three dogs/cats per lot.
9/1/10 - Courtesy Notice # 6408
9/22/10 - Owners warned by officer
9/23/10 - Citation issued
1/17/11 - All six dogs and a cat still there...

[Ref this post]


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
September 2010
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Thu 9/23/2010 1:16 PM
Your request # 463677 has been resolved with the resolution:
Yesterday 9/22/10 I went out to 810 Fishback to see if they have gotten rid of any of her dogs yet. Lynda said her dogs are too old to find new homes for and they are her kids. I went back out today to 810 Fishback and issued Lynda a citation for too many dogs.

[Ref this post]

- - - - - - - - - -
Mon 9/20/2010 2:46 PM
New Request # 463677
Request type: Other (animals)
Description: The owners keep six dogs on the residential property. Code only allows for three dogs and/or cats. Ref: Courtesy Notice 6408, 01Sep2010.

[Ref this post]


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
August/September 2010
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Wed 9/1/2010 10:55 AM
Manteca-CRM: Closed Request # 455062
Your request # 455062 has been resolved with the resolution:
I went to 810 Fishback and Issued Courtesy Notice 6408 to Lynda advising her she is only allowed to have 3 dogs on her property, and the others she would need to fine [sic] homes for.

[Ref this post]

- - - - - - - - - -
Tue 8/31/2010 6:52 PM
Manteca-CRM: New Request # 455062
The Complaint you submitted was:
Request type: Other (animals)
Description: The owners keep six dogs on the residential property. Code only allows for three dogs and/or cats.

[See this post for pictures of the six cutest living organisms on the property... {the others are dogs.}]


- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
September/November 2009
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
November 18, 2009 request for review of Animal Control screw-up. Even with a follow up second request a couple months later, my question went completely unanswered.

... It appears that P. Miller in Animal Control interprets the subsection to allow five dogs on a single R-1 lot.

Please let me know whether the MMC subsection is correct (3 dogs allowed) or the Animal Control citation is correct (5 dogs allowed).

Sincerely yours,

- - - - - - - - - -
9/8/09 Courtesy Notice cock-up:
(Especially note the Remark: "Two houses on property" and immediately below that the accounting: "3 dogs - 2 dogs.")



- - - - - - - - - -

September 8, 2009

The Mother of All Dogs

... Brassey appeared suddenly, looking like a cartoonish, apoplectic bulldog barrelling down on me. Pausing, dipping, she picked up a garden hose, spun the faucet wide open, and continued the charge....


{for daring to turn in her "babies"...}
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- - - - -

To be completely candid, I'd rather have all the dogs stay and the owners go.

Just sayin'...

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Just How Stupid Is This Woman?

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Tarp "sail" on left - January 26th
Tarp "roof extension" on right - January 31st

The only thing Lyin' Lynda knows how to do perfectly is... how to do everything wrong. Putting up these tarps is a perfect measure of L/L's mental capacities. When she paid all of Resectioned Red's inheritance money to contractors, the results look pretty good. (Of course, it wasn't until after the expenditures that L/L cottoned to the fact she couldn't sell the property.) But the instant she puts her amateurish hand to something like this, what we see is White Trash Architecture at its finest.

Other earlier examples:

Plywood sound barriers?



Randomly spaced picket offsets





Award-winning repurposed fence boards


- - - - -

• Lyin' Lynda had a noisy and illegal business operation on her property. Was she stupid enough to think I would not pursue her with civil complaints throughout 2008 and a lawsuit in May 2009?
• Lyin' Lynda added to, then replaced, the business noise with yard radio nuisance noise. Was she stupid enough to think I would not pursue her with criminal charges in April 2010 and January 2011?
• Lyin' Lynda pretends she is Sarah Winchester and keeps building more shit without permits. Is she stupid enough to think I will not follow up with administrative complaints?
• Lyin' Lynda cannot read and she cannot count. (After all, she attended Pinole High School... just sayin’…) Why else would she be stupid enough to ignore the law and keep six dogs? Does she not know I will assist her to overcome her deficiencies? And her excesses?
• Lyin' Lynda got an "owie" and took "medical retirement;" now she and her lovers gotta smoke "medical" marijuana just to make it through the long daylight hours. (Don't worry, they got each other to keep warm at night.) Was she stupid enough to think I would not ensure that her home-growing operation met city code, especially since it is right next to a high school? Is she still stupid enough to think I will not watch for illegal actions regarding her new venture?
• Lyin' Lynda has since October 2010 harassed me with unwarranted video surveillance. Was she stupid enough to think I would not return her favors with my own counter-surveillance?

The depths of this depraved soul's double standard are manifest in her blocking my cameras’ views, but leaving her camera’s view unblocked. (Whatcha' got to hide, L/L?)

Does this stupid woman not know I will continue pursuing the objective of improving the world ridding her from my life.

What this stupid woman has never figured out in the four years I’ve been helping her can never figure out is that the fence line is where her intrusions must STOP! (Somehow, she views the fence as her jumping off point…?)

Illegal businesses and noise…
Outside radio…
Dogs, cats, chickens…
Building permit violations…
Marijuana smoke…
Surveillance…

If Lyin’ Lynda’s presence STOPPED at the fence line, we could live in peace.

As long as she continues intruding her presence, we live at war.

Ignorance, laziness, willfulness, and other human conditions can be controlled or improved, with varying degrees of success. But STUPID cannot be fixed – and DRUGGED STUPID is unalterable. As long as this stupid woman continues to contravene law, ignore city codes, harass her neighbors, and intrude her abjectly pathetic life onto others, I will continue to wear the title…

"Lyin' Lynda's... Warden?... Babysitter?... Neighbor From Hell?"

Ah, here's a simple test of the reader's knowledge of human nature: Two parties call each other the Neighbor From Hell. One of the parties vehemently denies the label and clamors unceasingly regarding innocence. The other party reluctantly accepts the label, knowing from the beginning that the badge would be pinned on him, yet must continue the fight despite the fiery darts of the adversary.

"That is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?"

(Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 1)

That is the "Solomonic" question: Which one is the Neighbor From Hell?

I loosely paraphrase Ford Prefect in The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy,

If Lyin' Lynda doesn’t keep exercising her lips, her mouth would probably seize up. After a few months’ consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favor of a new one. If she doesn’t keep on exercising her lips, her brain would start working. After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical.

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Packrat Purging: Diarrhea of Trash

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It' really hard to imagine all the mountains of crap these connoisseurs of trash have stuffed into every nook, cranny, attic, old walk-in freezers, old and inoperable catering trucks, tents, travel trailers, old cars and trucks, shipping containers, shanty sheds... anywhere and everywhere Klepto Yellow can disguise the existence of more useless erotica exotica.

The purgative movements began last weekend with the advent of the Budget moving van.

Then a couple days elapsed as Mellow Yellow's mental peristalsis built up to another series of disgorgements. Other outbound wrenchings were masked by the constant employment of another laborer (to replace the talkative Alex and Joaquin) who continued finish work on the Marijuana Sheds and reconstructed the interior of the Smokehouse. His vehicle of choice was a beater pickup.


The Smokehouse



Ah, yes, the Smokehouse... the outbuilding that for years has been a storage room, a grocery commissary, a laundry room, an electrical sub-station for the solar panels, and a doghouse for the junkyard dogs. More recently, two added uses are as the control center for the outdoor stereo and as the Smokehouse. In an effort to keep their newly remodeled house pristine for eventual disposal, the three dopers hole up in the Smokehouse for 15 to 45 minutes several times a day and generate a neighborhood-wide cloud of second-hand marijuana smoke.

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Lyin' Lynda's Big-Ass Black Pickup Truck

Friday morning was on the verge of dawning when Lyin' Lynda's (L/L) Big-Ass Black Pickup Truck crept up the driveway, pulling a utility trailer behind it. [This vehicle is L/L's Freudian overcompensation for missing certain body parts she is sure she was cheated out of.] As this Grapes of Wrath rig pulled onto the street and away, my only question was, "How far away is she going?" Alas, the answer was, "Not far enough," because the emptied rig and its Road Queen driver reappeared in the afternoon and backed onto the lot.

Shuttling shit from shanty shed to the Big-Ass Black Trash Truck (minus trailer) that evening was an amusing vignette because for every two items loaded onboard, L/L would come along and remove one. The job could have been done in thirty minutes, but under L/L's generalship, er, that is... because of her need to control everybody and everything it took ninety. Regardless of the stream of refuse tossed into L/L's Big-Ass Trash Truck, such as the bags of fertilizer, the air compressor, the dozens of paint cans, the flower pots, the giant thingie that had to be drained of water, etc., despite all that, the shanty shed is still solidly packed with all sorts of excreta.

Saturday morning was on the verge of dawning when Lyin' Lynda's (L/L) Big-Ass Black Pickup Truck again crept up the driveway, pulling the re-attached utility trailer behind it. This time she took muscle with her to unload on the other end; this is known because he left behind the Silver Bullet(c) for the day and drove away in it after they returned that evening. (What a shit job that is... having to spend the entire day with Yellow and Green! But they, without a doubt, shared a joint... or two, or three... with him to kill the pain.)

Items of note: 1) The Cannonball Elimination Express left behind a some Big Red Brassy Boobs to guard the premises, which is funny because she's useless in her unimpaired state and twice as useless when she's all doped up; and 2) when the Big-Ass Black Pickup Truck returned, it was minus the trailer.

Witness: Lyin' Lynda told the police officer she was "leaving in a couple days," yet a week later she is still here. The bitch never stays gone. Perhaps she meant she was mentally checked out, or that she was going to self-administer medicinal stupidity (Sierra High(c), no less!) several times a day from now on. Her version of truth has always been disconnected from reality.

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Hell On Wheels Grinds (Exceedingly) Slowly Along

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Did Lyin' Lynda charge a modeling fee for this? her normal posture?

Where to begin talking about complete and utter ineptitude*?!

Today there was a scheduled Case Management Conference before the judge of the pending civil suit against "Lyin' Lynda" Allen and Theresa A "Resectioned Red" Brassey, at which meeting:

• Plaintiff's attorney appeared in person
• Plaintiff's case management statement was filed earlier, as required
• Plaintiff's Motion for Summary Judgment was filed earlier
• Defendants' attorney failed to appear, in person or by telephone
• Defendants failed to appear pro per
• Defendants failed to file a case management statement, as required

Where were the Defendants? Who knows? They were up waddling around early this morning, packing their little Playmate(c) coolers, preparing to go screw off somewhere for the day. The only mind (wrong word?) they've paid this lawsuit is to ignore it and drag it out as long as possible.

Where was their White Knight, the kid from Farmers Insurance Company, their "free" attorney? Who knows? Did Farmers finally come to the realization that they - and the company's policyholders - have also been thoroughly screwed by Lynda and Theresa?

Will any of them deign to answer the current Motion, or to show up at the Motion hearing in April?

Who knows? Who cares? {shrug} The BDG's have their heads up their asses... or each other's asses, more likely.

Now the Games can really begin...
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- - - - - - - - - - -
in·ept (adj) 1. Not apt or fitting; inappropriate; unsuitable; out of place. 2. absurd or foolish: an inept remark. 3. a. Displaying a lack of judgment, sense, or reason; foolish: an inept remark. b. Awkward, bungling or clumsy; haplessly incompetent: inept handling of the account. 4. Without skill or aptitude for a particular task or assignment; maladroit: "Red is inept at mechanical tasks" "Yellow is inept at dealing with people" "Green is inept at everything else"

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Difficile Est Saturam Non Scribere

Translation of title: "It is hard NOT to write satire."

Juvenal, Satire I

45 Why tell how my heart burns dry with rage when I see the people hustled by a mob of retainers attending on one who has defrauded and debauched his ward, or on another who has been condemned by a futile verdict — for what matters infamy if the cash be kept? The exiled Marius carouses from the eighth hour of the day and revels in the wrath of Heaven, while you, poor Province, win your cause and weep!

Juvenal, Satire X

It is on her passion that a bad woman's whole nature centers.

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The BDG Waggle Dance!

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While monitoring my home security video feed yesterday, I came across some of the rarest behavior ever captured on video. It left me shaken, both for its value as disturbing documentation, as well as for its raw, animalistic intensity.

Backing up a bit... I recently visited a natural history museum. One of the displays was a video presentation of the life and times of honey bees. One particularly interesting segment was the Waggle Dance - the method by which scout bees informed worker bees of the whereabouts of plants with pollen and nectar.

This waggle dance behavior of honey bees is very well documented and has a direct correlation to the continuation of the hive.

What is NOT so well documented is similar behavior in humans - at least insofar as it applies to survival. There IS evidence that waggle-dancing humans do so as part of a mating dance ritual, or for purely exhibitionistic reasons. And in certain cases, mental retardation and inhibitions impaired by drugs are the contributing factors. Click below for two examples of public waggle dancing.

But yesterday's brilliant performance of the waggle dance by the infamous Barefoot Dirty Girl - Manteca's own Resectioned Red! - was truly noteworthy (especially considering she is built LESS like the preceding dancers and MORE like a brick shit house.) Her abberant behavior can only be attributed to high concentrations of THC in her already lethargic brain, thus depressing to a greater degree any social inhibitions she may have once had. (There's a reason it's called "dope.")

[Pics removed. Reason: not yet cleared for publication (and to protect small dogs and children!)]

Even more perplexing is that the same "medicine" these BDG geese have been dishing out since last October... they are finding it very bitter when the gander dishes it back for them to swallow.

Suck it up!... or, better yet, Give it up!

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(Still building, are we? How many days until you leave, L/L?)

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Opprobrious Chameleons; Reversibles and Rip-Offs

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You think you see me, but you don't;
I'm a chameleon, you see.

I slither from here, change colors as wont,*
and next, I'm up a tree.

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The BDG's plan to "Slip Unnoticed Into Heaven FREE"

- - -

Som'uns got herself a eh'...ju...ma...ka'...shun... from one a' those fancy... uh... whatev' ther' called.

And to leave an indelible stain mark on America's popular culture, our own, our beloved, our Recently Resectioned Red has given birth from her infertile body mind to the epitome of sports paraphernalia jizz widgets -

{drum roll}

- the one and only -

{another drum roll}

- officially titled -

Sports jacket of reversible construction for displaying alternate team and/or player affiliations ! (Patent # 6,550,066)


Knowing these benighted morons [as well as anyone can decipher them], trying to follow the description of this "invention" provided a hilarious romp through their psyches psychoses.** In the verbiage that Resectioned Red provided to the Patent Office, the raison d'etre*** for the polymorphic disinformation camouflage apparel appeared to be the desire not to get the shit beat out of them at Oakland Raiders game.

I will try to translate, reinterpret, and elucidate Red's "waffle wording" and hidden meanings as we trudge along through this linguistic sludge pit of popular culture. (Popular culture: the "Bread and Circuses" with which the masses are anesthetized into stuporous compliance.)
See this Wikipedia entry.

[...] iam pridem, ex quo suffragia nulli / uendimus, effudit curas; nam qui dabat olim / imperium, fasces, legiones, omnia, nunc se / continet atque duas tantum res anxius optat, / panem et circenses. [...]
(Juvenal, Satire 10.77–81)


… Already long ago, from when we sold our vote to no man, the People have abdicated our duties; for the People who once upon a time handed out military command, high civil office, legions — everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just two things: bread and circuses

Put simply, this is my neighbors' self-confessed credo on how to slither through life - and cash in on the circus - now that they have cashed out of the sloppy bread business - and now stumble about in the drug business.

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United States Patent 6,550,066
Inventor: Brassey; Theresa Ann (Manteca, CA)
April 22, 2003
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Abstract

A team jacket with sports logo that is of reversible construction. Different teams sports logos are on both the inner and outer surfaces of the jacket. The jacket may also be equipped with the names of players so that the jacket may be reversed to reveal a different player's name and/or number. [This is the setup. The why, the "spin," comes later.]
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Appl. No.: 09/040,271
Filed: March 18, 1998
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Referenced By [later inventors]
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2. 7,725,955 Rivalry rip-off apparel
9. 6,874,168 Buttocks padded pants
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Primary Examiner: Hale; Gloria M.
Attorney, Agent or Firm: Halvonik; John P.
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Description: BACKGROUND AND FIELD OF THE INVENTION

The invention relates to the field of jackets and sporting wear and, in particular, to a jacket that is of reversible construction and having different teams sports logos on both the inner and outer surfaces of the jacket in order to allow the display of alternate team logos. The jacket may also be equipped with the names of players so that the jacket may be reversed to reveal a different player's name or number.

The jacket is believed [by whom? belief does not equal truth.] to have utility [mega-sports has usefulness? really?] among those sports fans [oxymorons] who find that teams are seemingly [waffle word] constantly switching city affiliations and those fans no longer have the same loyalties [ie., totally fickle] to those teams as they did in previous times. The same may be said for players as well because[,] with the advent of free agency[,] players are constantly moving from team to team.

[It is amazing how these fickle oxymorons can dream up such a fantasy! Loyalty? Players are nothing but assets, on-screen entertainers, traded about by entertainment corporations known as "ball clubs." It has nothing to do with games or sports, but with money - money extracted from dumbasses who allow themselves to be distracted from real life and squander their time and give away their money to the corporations they then bitch about as "the rich."]

The jacket is meant to be amusing or entertaining [or ridiculous] in that other sports fans [other morons] who see the jacket on display will immediately grasp [strong word for morons] the intended pun or message when the user[, after toking a 'jane or two,] stands up and reverses his[/her] jacket in order to display a new team that he/she is now rooting for. [Hey! Look at the scoreboard, fools! With that point spread, you old goats are gonna lose us a lot of money.] The reversible jacket as described herein readily conveys the message that team sports loyalties among both fans and owners is[are] very fickle [her word, not mine!] and that one can change his[/her] team loyalty as easily as changing ones jacket. [Key sentence - Red, Yellow, and Green are fickle and can play on either team... or both.]

Among the advantages of such a jacket is that the fan does not have to invest in [invest? the word is "consume"] two jackets in order to root for two teams or two players. One jacket having multiple logos will suffice. [How does fan frugality pernuriousness support the mega-sports machine, including all its suppliers?] Also, the fan will not have to risk the approbation [Gack! This gets the following explanatory paragraph all its own!] of other fans [morons] when [s]he is in a different stadium. If the team [s]he is rooting for loses the game or is otherwise unacceptable to the rest of the fans, e.g. for example [e.g. means, for example] if they are the visiting team, the user can simply reverse the jacket and present those fans in the stadium with a logo for a team and/or player that is acceptable to them. [Prime example of the Barefoot Dirty Girls using camouflage to avoid detection, "fly under the radar," and not get the shit beat out of them. Follow the crowd, blend in.]

[Regardless of Reeking Red's liberally lacking college eh'...ju...ma...ka'...shun, the definition of approbation (n) is 1. An expression of warm approval; praise. 2. Commendation; official approval. I can readily see why the BDG's want to avoid the "risk the approbation" of anyone, especially family, friends, neighbors, city officials. Red should have used disapprobation, or possibly opprobrium (n), which means, 1. Disgrace arising from exceedingly shameful conduct; ignominy. 2. Scornful reproach or contempt: a term of opprobrium. You see? Opprobrium applies perfectly to the BDG's perfidy (treachery, faithlessness) and prevarications (lies, fabrications, exaggerations, inventions, misrepresentations, etc.).]


PRIOR ART

While there are jackets that are reversible in nature, none that applicant is aware of have multiple team sports logos displayed on both the inner and the outer surfaces of the jacket. Nor are there any with multiple player names on them.

SUMMARY OF THE INVENTION

A sporting jacket having one team logo on the outside of the jacket and having a second team logo on the inside of the jacket. The jacket is of reversible construction so that the logo on the inner surface may be displayed upon reversing the jacket with the inner logo now appearing on the outer surface of the jacket. The second logo should be distinguishable from the first logo so that when the jacket is reversed a different logo can be displayed by the wearer.

It is an objective of the invention to provide a sports jackets having multiple team and/or player designations to allow sports fans to display an alternate team/player designation in the event that they wish to root for different teams and/or player.

Another objective of the invention is to provide an amusing message to fans and others whereby the owner of a sports jacket can convey the message of changing team loyalties by simply reversing his/her jacket.

Other advantages will become known to those skilled in the art [art? what art? disinformation? evasion? call it anything but lying? In that case, the Barefoot Dirty Girls are highly "skilled in the art."] once the invention is shown and described.

DESCRIPTION OF DRAWINGS

FIG. 1 Overall construction of apparatus.

FIG. 2 perspective view.

Source: US Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO) or FreePatentsOnline 6550066 PDF

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This whole invention smacks of a flashback to their high school days when Theresa (San Leandro Pirates) and Lynda (Pinole Spartans) desperately wanted letter jackets, but couldn't (his choice) or wouldn't (her choice) tease them off male football players. 

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Rivalry rip-off apparel
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United States Patent 7,725,955
Johnson
June 1, 2010
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Abstract

A cap, jacket, shirt, or sweatshirt displaying the logos of two rival adjacent a field, court, mat or rink depicting the sport in which the teams vie. These logos may be readily ripped-off, being attached by hook-and-loop fabric, or the like, to enable the following week's rivalry to be displayed on the same item of apparel. The wearer's preference is displayed on that item of apparel by means of a team name/logo/exhortational message displayed elsewhere on the item than in the display region and by a red `DIS` cord stretched across the team the wearer wishes to lose in a manner reminiscent of the international NOT! display.
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Inventors: Johnson; James L. (Erie, PA)
Appl. No.: 12/070,954
Filed: February 21, 2008
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References cited
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6,550,066 April 2003 Brassey
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Primary Examiner: Hale; Gloria
Attorney, Agent or Firm: Thomson; Richard K.
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Description
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BACKGROUND AND SUMMARY OF THE INVENTION

The present invention is directed to the field of clothing. More particularly, the present invention is directed to an article of clothing capable of displaying a rivalry of interest to the wearer and the wearer's preference for the outcome of a soon-to-be-played game or one of historic interest.

Sports have long been a passion for many and the number of fans for particular sports is expanding exponentially. Sports paraphernalia is proliferating and fans are looking for additional ways to display their love [purely platonic, or economic, of course] for their preferred team(s). It is an object of the present invention to present articles of apparel which allows the wearer to make clear to anyone seeing the person's attire, his/her preference for the outcome of a particular rivalry/game. This apparel may take the form of a cap or other type of hat, a sweatshirt, t-shirt, jacket, polo shirts, team jersey, vests, etc., available under the trademark Rivalry Rip-off (TM) apparel.

The present invention comprises an article of clothing for displaying a rivalry between two teams including: a) an apparel item having a display region for displaying at least two logos of rival teams; b) a first logo for a preferred team; c) a second logo for another rival team; d) attachment means for removably securing the first and second logos to the display region; e) indicator means for manifesting a preference of a wearer of the apparel item for one team over the other team. The article of clothing includes first attachment means for securing the first logo and second attachment means for securing the second logo to the display region which includes a field, court, pool, rink, or mat depicting a sport in which the rival teams compete with a `VS` emblazoned on the field, court, pool, rink or mat between the first and second attachment means, as well as at least one indication adjacent one of the attachment sites indicating which is the home team.

Each of the first and second attachment means comprises first and second hook-and-loop fabric portions in which the first hook-and-loop fabric portion is secured to the display region and the second hook-and-loop fabric portion is secured to a back side of one of the first and second logos. The indicator means comprises a team name/logo/exhortational message of/for the wearer's preferred team displayed elsewhere on the apparel item. The indicator means further comprises a red cord stretched diagonally across the second logo. The article of apparel includes removable attachment means for the red cord allowing it to be draped across either side of the display region. It is envisioned that this Rivalry Rip-off (TM) apparel could apply to sports including baseball, basketball, diving, football, hockey, soccer, swimming, track and field, wrestling at all levels of competition and could easily be applied to non-athletic competitions, such as highschool and college scholastic meets, as well.

Various other features, advantages, and characteristics of the present invention will become apparent after a reading of the following detailed description.

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* wont - habit; an established custom; ex., "It is their wont [habit] to smoke a "Sierra High" joint every evening at 7:00 out on their patio."

** Psychosis is a term used to describe an array of signs and symptoms suggesting a form of thinking that breaks from reality.

*** raison d'etre (n) 1. reason for being; rationalization; the cognitive process of making something seem consistent with or based on reason. 2. the purpose that justifies a thing's existence; function, purpose, use, role - what something is used for; "the function of an auger is to bore holes"; "BDG's are unforgivable wastes of Earth's resources, so what use are they?"