Elongated* Manteca Marijuana Timeline Recap

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(Duh... Hi, uh... from New Joisey... I think...)

My post entitled Sierra High School v. Marijuana Farm garnered a couple random comments from persons who aspire to no higher goals than the one advertised by the T-shirt above. My answer (commentary really) is repeated below so it does not remain buried, wasted on the dopers:

"California's Compaaaaassionate Use Act of 1996 (Sec. 11362.5, Cal. Health & Safety Code) is a prime example of letting direct democracy (popular initiatives) undermine our constitutional republic. That Act and its enabling Act need to be repealed, not expanded as in Proposition 19. Keeping medical marijuana within the boundaries of trained medical practitioners MAY have been a better way to go."

"I am dead set against hallucinogens and other mind-impairing substances because of the "frictions" (some deadly or criminal, most just stupid) they cause with other people. Allowing people like Anonymous and KaVaTpoT to vote themselves a "legal right" to get and stay stupid illustrates the depths to which California has fallen. We're supposed to be a first class, productive, world power when our citizens are lazy, stupid, self-centered dopers?"

"Do you know that backcountry campers can be cited and fined if bears get their food? The food has to be secured. Yes, my neighbors can currently legally grow their own "meds" on their property - under the condition that it be enclosed and secured."

"Which of us is having trouble understanding the simple concepts here? Grow a brain - and use it."

Vote NO on Proposition 19!

Saturday, June 12th - I discovered a young pot plant in MY yard. Its source was unknown. A witness verified it was marijuana and discovered another, smaller plant nearby. Photographed and destroyed the plants.

Thursday, July 8th - I discovered the open air marijuana garden on the neighboring property. With a witness, photographed and printed the find, and turned in the pictures to the Manteca Police Department for investigation.

Friday, July 9th - MPD visits neighbor(s); discovers Lynda has medical marijuana card; informs her of MMC Section 8.35, requiring enclosing and securing the plants; and gives her a "few weeks" to comply. No citation issued.

Friday, August 27th - No compliance (never is) by Lynda and live-ins. Email sent to Manteca Unified School District superintendent and board regarding immediate proximity of unsecured pot farm to Sierra High School campus.

Tuesday, August 31st or Wednesday, September 1st - Citation issued to Lynda Allen. Two weeks given to enclose and secure marijuana plants.

Monday, September 20th - No compliance (never is) by Lynda and live-ins. Online reminder sent to MPD.

Request # 463673
Request type: Drugs/Narcotics
Description: Ref: Case # 10-24475. The "two week" deadline expired last week, and no preparations to enclose the marijuana have been made, let alone completing the job. The plants are still growing outdoors next to Sierra High School.

Wednesday, September 22nd - MPD business card in MY door. Phone tag ensues.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010, 08:03 hrs

Wednesday, September 29th - I co-signed a Complaint/Notice to Appear to be served on one of the owners. Scheduled date to appear is Tuesday, November 9th.

Thursday, September 30, 2010, 08:07 hrs

Thursday, September 30th - the marijuana has been "harvested" or destroyed. I have not yet been apprised of the fate of the plants, but the two major possibilities are:

• The BDG's, clever as only they think they are, harvested the weed and it is now drying in one of the many temporary structures on the property. It is unlikely to be inside the solid-wall main house or the solid-wall outbuilding because the process of drying marijuana produces a pretty rank odor. But the harvested weed is still under the same restriction (enclosed and secured) as growing the weed.
• The other option is that the City of Manteca police, after giving the Barefoot Dirty Girls a warning, a Notice of Violation, and a sworn complaint, finally decided to take action and returned that afternoon to enforce MMC 8.35.030 B. (lack of enclosed, secured structure) using MMC 8.35.090 A. 3. (administrative order and fine to abate a safety violation).

After reviewing the history of complicity between the city and the BDG's, my bet is that the scofflaws were tipped off and took evasive action (hopefully too early for full THC development), afraid only of possible adverse court action, not the laggardly** puttering*** of law enforcement.

This year's latest drug-hazed chapter in the completely wasted lives of Yellow, Red, and Green confirms that the Three Beaches are absolutely incapable of following even the simplest of civil rules.

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* elongate (verb used with object) 1. to draw out to greater length; lengthen; extend. (verb used without object) 2. to increase in length. (adj) elongated 3. extended; lengthened. 4. long and thin. Word origin & history: 1530s, from L.L. elongatus , pp. of elongare (see elongation). The Fr. form, eloign , was borrowed in the 1530s in the legal sense "to remove to a distance", esp. in an effort to avoid the law (perps avoid compliance, or cops avoid enforcement, or both?) Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2010 Douglas Harper

** laggard (n) 1. a person or thing that lags; lingerer; loiterer. (adj) laggardly 2. moving, developing, or responding slowly; sluggish; dilatory; backward. related words: dilatory, dawdler, drone, lagger, trailer

*** putter (verb used without object) 1. to busy or occupy oneself in a leisurely, casual, or ineffective manner: to putter in the garden. 2. to move or go in a specified manner with ineffective action or little energy or purpose: to putter about the house on a rainy day. 3. to move or go slowly or aimlessly; loiter. (n) 4. puttering or ineffective action; dawdling. (verb phrase) 5. putter away, to spend or fill in a random, inconsequential, or unproductive way; fritter away; waste: We puttered the morning away.

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Watchin' the Grass Grow...

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Hmmm... Lookit those buds! Almost ready now.

It appears the Manteca Police Department, Street Crimes Unit, and I are playing that perennially favorite bureaucratic game of "phone tag."

• I found a business card in my door,
• I called back twice with messages,
• A message comes back about two days of police training and a three-day weekend,
• I called again on the appointed day (today) and left a message.

Whereas the online complaint was closed with the hugely informative answer of Thank you, and
Whereas the MPD has issued a citation for the outdoor pot farm (verbal info from police chief), and
Whereas the marijuana is still in the ground and not secured,
Therefore, I am currently operating under the theory that the City of Manteca PD has cut a deal with the owners, Lynda S Allen and Theresa A Brassey, to allow this crop to come to harvest.

My best guess is that this communication has something to do with that deal. It would be another perfect example of Lyin' Lynda's effectiveness in jawboning her way out of consequences for evading the law... any law.

Sing along with the lyrics from The Smoke Off (see footnote):

And then he rolls three in just ten seconds, and she smokes them up in nine
And everybody sits back and says, "Hey.... this just might take some time."

See the blur of flying fingers, see the red coal burning bright
As the night turns into mornin', and the mornin' fades to night
And the autumn turns to summer, and a whole damn year is gone
And the two still sit, on that roach-filled stage, smokin', and rollin'...on

Am I supposed to sit back - with the do-nothing cops, the officious enablers, and the potheads - and allow this breach of reason to pass unchallenged?

Am I supposed to just sit back and watch the grass grow?
{Can I at least dabble in rhyme while I wait?}

Lynda, Lynda, dried-up spinsta'
How does your pot farm grow?
Oh, very well, I'm pleased to tell,
The flowers and buds... just so!

Lynda, Lynda, dried-up spinsta'
How much offal* sold through?
The big yard sale was a tragic fail -
Perhaps we'll do numma' two!

Lynda, Lynda, dried-up spinsta'
The tarped up shed still stands?
To make a show, the last to go,
So we can hide our plans!

Lynda, Lynda, dried-up spinsta'
The cars, they still don't run?
Who gives a shit, you little twit!
Go shove it up... {xxxx xxx}, you son...! {-xx-x-xxxxx!}

Lynda, Lynda, dried-up spinsta'
Why are you'all still here?
To harvest weed before they seed.
(And keep this town in fear.)

Lynda, Lynda, dried-up spinsta'
Your lawyer says to go?
The law's an ass! DON'T SMOKE MY GRASS!
It's hard enough to grow!

Lynda, Lynda, dried-up spinsta'
There's lots of high school stu...
To hell with them! It' all 'bout ME!
Just keep them out, DebsZoo!**

I wonder if Manteca Unified School District agrees with this deal?

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* of·fal (n) 1. the parts of a butchered animal that are considered inedible by human beings; carrion. 2. the parts of a butchered animal removed in dressing; viscera. 3. refuse; rubbish; garbage.

** Comment by DebsZoo: Manteca Bulletin Online, February 24, 2009 - 04:17 PM, commenting on this story. This is obviously one of the BDG's redneck friends. Comment was snagged before being dropped by the MB website archive.

{Comment in black; response in red}

Leave the small business owner alone! (Why are they running their business in a residential district?)
Did you not check out the neighborhood before you moved-in? (Yes, in the daytime, in the middle of winter.)
They have lived there for 25 years... (21 years.) (They told you 25 years? And you believed them?)
and I hear you have only been there one year. (Two years. You heard wrong... again.)
They have been running a legitimate business all these years, (Legitimate business? Maybe. Grandfathered on the property? Definitely not. You were lied to... again.)
they are wonderful people, (That's not my experience with these paranoid, hostile, vicious bitches.)
they are not bothering anyone else and never have. (They brutalized their now-deceased neighbors and are doing the same thing to me with their illegal business activities and noise.)
And in today's economic state... (So, why did they not move the business during the previous two or three "good times"?)
we should be supporting small local business, not running it out of town. (I would agree if you insert the words "legally established.")
I suggest this guy gets a life... (This IS my life until this cancerous blight is removed from my property.)
and stops bothering these nice people trying to make a decent living. (Nice? Pish! More like pus-filled pimples.)

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Naked Came She Into The World...

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(answer at bottom of post)

... and, because of her unremitting perversity and her obtuse, foot-dragging blockade of all efforts to remedy her nuisance, she left me no alternative but to practice tough love on her.

She could have relocated her catering truck & commissary business to a legal property and likely continued it for many more years (stoned or otherwise.) But, no... instead she chose to take early "medicinal marijuana" retirement and shut the business down.

Of course, publicly she claims the economy did her in. Privately she bends every stranger's ear (as in: yard sale visitors) with her life history and the biggest sob story ever - her version - that she has to move away because her despicable, evil neighbor is:

• harrassing her by spying on her (midnight business operations, icemaker noise nuisance, yard radio nuisance), and
• calling the cops on her for every little thing (loud yard radio, no building permits, too many dogs, unsecured marijuana, dead cars), and
• maintaining a lawsuit against her for her "grandfathered" business (not grandfathered, illegal mobile home, illegal business use in zone, illegal business expansion, noise nuisance, etc.)

"Poor little me! Why is he doing this to me? I'm a good neighbor. (Just ask the people of Tracy)" the little lamb continually bleats in her assumed plaintive tones.

Pish!*

Truth can stand repetition; repetition, however, cannot make a lie into truth.
If her story had a grain of truth in it, she would be offering hard evidence of "grandfathered" status (ie., pre-annexation County of San Joaquin documentation.)

If her story had a grain of truth in it, she would be able to demonstrate to code enforcement or the police that she was in compliance with whatever charge.

If her story had a grain of truth in it, she would have petitioned for a harrassment protective order against me.

What she does know is that City of Manteca officials are so slack in their job performance that the only proofs and surveillance to be had are what I gather myself.

What she does know is that she hasn't a legal leg to stand on and her illegal business use is going down, as are all her other illegalities.

What she does know is:

• I am not buckling under to her shrill, strident, oft-repeated falsehoods, and
• I am not going away, and
• I am sick and tired of her lies and deceit, her noise, her lawlessness, her arrogance, and all of her other [not!] endearing qualities.

Kicking and cursing and making all sorts of other retaliatory noise and spreading all sorts of false gossip [false gossip? Sorry for the redundancy...], this sickly, mouthy, streetworn pish peddler is finally tucking tail and slinking away.

Slink faster!

And don't let the gate slam shut on your tail! (Wait! On second thought...)
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Naked came she into the world... and she will leave this corner of it
stripped and spanked.

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* pish (interj) an exclamation of impatience or contempt; (vb) to make this exclamation at someone or something.

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"I'll See You Out In The Shed! ...NOW!"

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This whole fight over noise started with the Scotsman icemaker - and it appears Allen & Brassey are leaving that P.O.S. machine and its shed for the last. The picture was taken to document the expansion of the already-illegal erection. Currently, the BDGs have sealed it up with tarps to conceal their movements and have to use fans for ventilation.

The shanty shed dates back to the illegal business expansion of TLC Catering in 1993-94. After A&B dodged a zoning complaint bullet, they lied their asses off and conned officials into granting them "grandfathered" land use status. Immediately thereafter they ignored the non-expansion instruction and built themselves a commissary on the property to service all their trucks. From my researched report:

"Yet the TLC Life just kept getting better! Emboldened by Manteca's emasculation, three months later Allen & Brassey assumed home occupation (land use) permission from Health Department (food sanitation) permits and made an application payment to EHD to establish and operate a private commissary, naming their property at 810 Fishback Street as the location for inspections.[Z] (The current Manteca code enforcement officer opined that Allen & Brassey were merely attempting to “legalize” what they had been doing “since they moved in.” When did they move in? Sorry, but they still need a land use permit.) The nine months following September 1993, was likely the period when a walk-in freezer and a refrigerated shipping container were hauled onto the property, refrigerators and freezers were plugged in everywhere, lights and floodlights strung up, and an ancient, noisy icemaker was improperly installed. The illegal mobile home, that longstanding error, was swallowed up in the larger commissary operation, pieces of which were scattered all around the property. The following June, the Health Department plan checks were done and in July 1994, EHD issued a Commissary Permit to the owners of TLC Catering. Again assuming nonexistent permissions, Allen & Brassey began taking commercial deliveries to their property, something expressly prohibited for home occupations. They were now set with four catering trucks, a fully equipped private commissary, and commercial vendors whose big trucks delivered supplies and services to their doorstep... they were unstoppable."

A big concrete pad was poured to support the installation of the Bally walk-in freezer, the Scotsman icemaker, and other refrigerators and freezers used in the business. The posts and fiberglass roofing were put up to protect the appliances, as well as all the other crap Allen & Brassey crammed in there.

The following description of the shed was sent to the city and - no surprise - no action was taken.

Tue 12/29/2009 4:08 PM
New Request # 329034
The Problem you submitted was:
Request type: Permits
Description: A noncompliant and unpermitted accessory covered structure was built along the lot’s north property line, in the fourteen-foot space between a permitted outbuilding and the wooden fence on the property line. Recent noncompliant additions have been made to it.

The structure consists of a concrete pad, approximately 43 feet long and 14 feet wide, formed and poured to within 6 inches of the fence posts. A 31-foot run of roofing is supported on the north side by 4 x 4 uprights. Some uprights are set back approximately 24 inches from the fence, others only 6 inches. The other side of the structure is attached to the outbuilding, under 20 feet of eaves. The green corrugated fiberglass roofing material is cut immediately above the wooden fence and pitched to drain its runoff, and the runoff from the outbuilding’s overhanging eaves, right on top of the fence. The runoff has led to serious deterioration of fence posts and boards.

The purpose of the structure is to house various machinery and appliances. This means that the electrical wiring, plumbing and drainage may also be noncompliant. Indeed, a short popped a circuit breaker a few months ago, which led to some rewiring.

Drainage is a big problem. One of the machines under this structure continuously drains directly onto the concrete pad. Because the property’s elevation is several inches higher than the adjoining property, the water flows, first, onto the ground at the fence line, then onto the adjoining property, causing a mosquito-breeding habitat. Added to that water flow is the roof runoff, mentioned above.

The combined factors of a declining elevation gradient, the concrete pad on Manteca’s soft soil, no footings or soil retention devices, runoff drainage problems, the continuous drainage and intense vibration from one of the machines, and heavy use of the structure has caused soil slumping evidenced by a pronounced bow in the fence.

I am seeking extensive rebuilding - or better yet, outright demolition - of this noncompliant and unpermitted structure on my fence line. In addition to the damages listed above (and some not listed), it is an unsightly intrusion.

The response from code enforcement was, loosely paraphrased, "I can't find my own ass because it's too dark around here." (Hey, have someone take a picture of your ass and Twitter it to you! Buncha' prima donna top models...)

It's time again to shine a light on the shed and Manteca's C.E. geniuses.

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Consanguinity* With Dogs

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Finally! Animal Control did not fall for Star of Stage and Street Lynda's tear-jerking emotional manipulations and her's and Theresa's long-running lies. Today this email arrives regarding the (this year's) complaint:

Thu 9/23/2010 1:16 PM
Your request # 463677 has been resolved with the resolution:

Yesterday 9/22/10 I went out to 810 Fishback to see if they have gotten rid of any of her dogs yet. Lynda said her dogs are too old to find new homes for and they are her kids. I went back out today to 810 Fishback and issued Lynda a citation for too many dogs.

This is in reference to the Complaint on Other (animals) you submitted on 09/20/2010 2:46 PM
Location: 810 Fishback Street
Description: The owners keep six dogs on the residential property. Code only allows for three dogs and/or cats. Ref: Courtesy Notice 6408, 01Sep2010.

I mentioned before, here and here, the close resemblances between the neighbors and their self-described "vicious yard dogs."

"In late February [2008] I went next door and asked to speak with the Alpha female. The conversation about trees, fences, dogs went along well enough... until I mentioned the icemaker. She instantly transformed into a she-wolf, with raised hackles and bared fangs. Anger and hostility infused every hissing word she uttered. The attack was so vicious it sent me reeling."

and

"Her [Lynda's] small, yappy dog, Rufus, was at her feet, no doubt being trained by soaking up the actions and personality of his owner."

I'm sure Lynda was "projecting" her fears when she said the dogs were too old to place elsewhere. Should have thought about that before adding one illegal action (too many dogs) on top of another illegal action (business use of property) on top of other illegal actions (expansion of business use) - all on top of seminal lies and deceit (grandfathered from county).

Aw, c'mon, why the long face?

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* consanguinity (n) 1. (Anthropology & Ethnology) relationship by blood; kinship.
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Another Sort of Deadline Approaching For the Yellow BDG

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Here's a preliminary mock up of Yellow's birthday present - a customized cardboard fold-up of a catering truck. (If you click on it, it gets bigger and LOUDER.)



Of course the other side of it gets a little re-working, too, to display the assorted goodies that this particular truck carried for twenty-odd years. (I think some of the original offerings are still offered.)

I know I should have started this earlier because her birthday is just around the corner... or over the hill... or one foot in the grave... or pushin' up daisies... (Hmmm, I'm liking the sound of that.)

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Second Quarter: Sierra High School Trails Druggies (Ge'cher Hot Dogs!)

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"Narcs at the door again, Yellow!"

At 09:42 hours, I got this email from the City of Manteca's online Government Outreach system, also know as the "Put That In Your Pipe and Smoke It, Whiner!" system.

This is in reference to the Complaint on Drugs/Narcotics you submitted on 09/20/2010 2:42 PM
Description: Ref: Case # 10-24475. The "two week" deadline expired last week, and no preparations to enclose the marijuana have been made, let alone completing the job. The plants are still growing outdoors next to Sierra High School.

Your request # 463673 has been resolved with the resolution:
Thank you.


We are committed to providing you the best service we can. We would appreciate you filling out an online survey on how this request was handled. You can fill out the online survey by going to: {... Hell!}

What a loquatious* response! {sarcasm}

I'm really not surprised. Neither should Manteca's leaders be surprised when I take such an abrupt** answer as a sign of dismissal and again take my case back through the Manteca Unified School District. I know, the city will pitch me several excuses, such as not disclosing details of an active case or protecting the accused's "rights". A curt "thank you" does not produce within me any level of reassurance or trust that the laws of this city are being enforced properly - or at all.


"Hot Dog(s)! Here We Go Again, Yellow!"

At 12:45 hours, I arrived home to a tableau on the neighboring driveway. Artfully arranged were: an Animal Control vehicle, a uniformed woman, a man with a ponytail, Lynda Allen with her favorite dog chew toy baseball cap, and Lynda's car parked over the sidewalk. They appeared to be conversing. A few minutes later the Animal Control vehicle drove away.

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! I can't wait to hear what fabrication the doper dreamt up to deploy this time. We'll see if Animal Control is more garrulous* than the Manteca Police Drug Squad in responding to online complaints.

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* lo·qua·cious (adj) \lō-ˈkwā-shəs\ 1: full of excessive talk : wordy 2: given to fluent or excessive talk : garrulous. lo·qua·cious·ly (adverb) lo·qua·cious·ness (n). synonym : garrulous.

** abrupt (adj) 1. sudden; unexpected 2. brusque or brief in speech, manner, etc.; curt

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{Shhhh! This Is Supposed To Be A Surprise Birthday Present...}

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credit

I told you before that I am an afficionado of all things "catering" (except for eating any food sold from a catering truck... and icemakers... and commissaries... and outlaw owners.)

So, let me tell you! When I came across these gorgeous little cardboard fold-up models of catering trucks, I immediately KNEW what to get Mellow Yellow for her birthday this weekend! You see, the reason is she got deathly sick and had to quit her business (finally! on a residential property, no less!) and has to get rid of all those commercial vehicles (and other business assets) on her property. So much stress on the poor woman. And Code Enforcement is on to her... they say:

Tue 9/21/2010 3:29 PM
Your request # 460464 has been resolved with the resolution:
Code Enforcement is aware of the situation and will be addressing the appropriate violations. Thank you for your concern.

This is in reference to the Complaint on Garage Sales you submitted on 09/13/2010 6:28 PM
Location: 810 Fishback Street
Description: Re: Request #455382, the two vehicles in question were pushed in front of a container/trailer. They are visible from the sidewalk without elevating any cameras - or eyeballs.

The complaint above was actually regarding Abandoned Vehicles, but they got confused, I guess, when I asked the below question online:

Wed 9/1/2010 3:17 PM
This is in reference to the Question you submitted on 09/01/2010 2:46 PM
Description: How many vehicles can be sold, or offered for sale, from a residential property without an auto dealer's license? 1? 2? 3? 4? 5? 6? more?

Reason Closed: The City does not have anything to do with an auto dealer's license so inquiries regarding this would need to be directed to the DMV. The City also does not have any rules regarding the sale of ones own vehicles. As example, If someone owned 10 vehicles and suddenly needed to liquidate them due to a need for cash, there is nothing that says that they can't do so. On the other hand, if they were purchasing vehicles to turn around and re-sell them, that would be something that would then be looked at as a business activity that would not be allowed. In addition, the courts have held that we can not regulate someone putting a for sale sign on their vehicle as this is considered a free speech issue.

Oh, so now it's a freedom of political speech to amass commercial vehicles on a residential property and illegally conduct business therefrom? And after closing the business, using the property as a commercial auto sales lot is also freedom of political speech? {imbeciles!}

{Deep breath! Exhale slowly... Slow heart rate and lower blood pressure.}

O.K. Back on track...

These darling little cardboard catering trucks, however, ARE legal for her to have on her property. And anyway, after "[Yellow] takes one toke with her famous lungs" * this'll look just like the real thing. Sorta ease her pain, like, ya' know... BUT, she has to be really careful while burning her roaches inside one a' these coaches, or she may just "go[] up in a puff of smoke." *

But please help me choose. I'm having trouble deciding which model to get her. Here's the current catalogue, and after that are some larger images. Please let me know what you think.

Señor Macho Taco Model




Customizable Model
(To reconstruct that sweeeeet TLC look and feel!)




Bleep Labs Model - for peddling anthropomorphic noise toys
(as if Lynda needed any help making more noise!)




Pirate Model
(Yum Yum, Hard Tack & Rum)




Muertos Model
(I thought this was the unofficial title of every taco truck out there?)




Yum Tacos Model




Kawaii Model
(can you imagine raw sashimi being sold from a taco truck?)




Zombie Model
(closest to truth-in-advertising of any model listed)




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* see highlighted lines

The Smoke Off
by Shel Silverstein

Now, in the laid-back California town of sunny San Rafael
Lived a girl named Pearly Sweetcake - you probably knew her well
She was stoned 15 of her 18 years, and her story was widely told
That she could smoke 'em faster than anyone could roll

Well, her legend finally reached New York, that Grove Street walk-up flat
Where dwelt the Calistoga Kid, a beatnik from the past
He'd been rollin' dope since time began, now he took a cultured toke
And said, "Jim, I can roll 'em faster than any CHICK can smoke"

So a note gets sent to San Rafael for the championship of the world
The Kid demands a smoke-off; "Well bring him on!" says Pearl
"I'll grind his fingers off his hands! He'll roll until he drops!"
Says Calistog, "I'll smoke that chick till she blows up and pops".

So they rent out Yankee Stadium, and the word is quickly spread
Come one, come all, who walk or crawl, tickets just two lids a head
And from every town and hamlet, over land and sea they speed
The world's greatest dopers, with the world's greatest weed.

Hashishers from Morocco, hemp smokers from Peru
And the Shashniks from Bagun (who smoke the deadly Pu-ga-ru)
And those who call it "light of life"
And those that call it "boo".

See the dealers and their ladies, wearing turquoise lace and leather
See the narcos and the closet smokers, puffing all together
From the teenies who smoke legal, to the ones who've done some time
To the old man who smoked "reefer", back before it was a crime.

And the grand old House That Ruth Built is filled with the smokes and cries
Of 50,000 screaming heads, all stoned out of their minds
And they play the national anthem, and the crowd lets out a roar
As the spotlight hits the kid and Pearl, ready for their smoking war.

At a table piled up high with grass, as high as a mountain peak
Just tops and buds of the rarest flowers, not one stem, branch or seed
I mean, Maui Wowie, Panama Red, Acapulco Gold
Kif from East Afghanistan, and that rare Alaska Cold

And there's sticks from Thailand, ganj from the island,
And Bangkok's blooming best
(and some of that wet imported shit
That capsized off Key West).

There's Oaxacan tops and Kenya bhang, and Riviera fleurs
And that rare Manhattan Silver, that grows down in the New York sewers.
And there's bubblin' ice cold lemonade, and sweet grapes by the bunches
And there's Hershey bars and Oreos (in case anybody gets the munches)

And the Calistoga Kid, he smiles,
And Pearly, she just grins
And the drums roll low, and the crowd yells "GO GO GO!!"
And the world's first smoke-off begins.

Well, the kid he flicks his fingers once, and ZAP that first joint's rolled
Pearl takes one toke with her famous lungs, and WHOOSH that roach is cold
Then the kid he rolls his super-bomb, that would paralyze a moose
And Pearl takes one mighty hit, and ...... that bomb's defused

And then he rolls three in just ten seconds, and she smokes them up in nine
And everybody sits back and says, "Hey.... this just might take some time"

See the blur of flying fingers, see the red coal burning bright
As the night turns into mornin', and the mornin' fades to night
And the autumn turns to summer, and a whole damn year is gone
And the two still sit, on that roach-filled stage, smokin', and rollin'...on

With tremblin' hands he rolls his jays, with fingers blue and stiff
She coughs and stares with bloodshot gaze, and puffs through blistered lips
And as she reaches out her hand for another stick of gold
The Kid, he gasps, "Damn it, bitch! There's nothin' left to roll!"

"NOTHIN' LEFT TO ROLL!" screams Pearl. "IS THIS SOME TWISTED JOKE?
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO FUCK AROUND; MAN, I COME HERE TO SMOKE!"

And she reaches 'cross the table and grabs his bony sleeves
And crumbles his body between her hands, like dried and brittle leaves
Flicking out his teeth and bones like useless stems and seeds
And then she rolls him in a zig-zag, and lights him like a roach
And the fastest man, with the fastest hands, goes up in a puff of smoke.

In the laid-back California town of sunny San Rafael
Lives a girl named Pearly Sweetcake - you probably know her well
She been stoned 21 of her 24 years, and her story is still widely told
How she still can smoke 'em faster than any dude can roll

While, off in New York City, on a street that has no name
There's the hands of the Calistoga kid, in the Viper Hall of Fame
And underneath his fingers, there's a little golden scroll
That says, "Beware of bein' the roller
When there's nothin' left to roll".

.

Dilatory Dopers, Duplicative Doggies & Dandling* Departments

.

(The original image is found here)

The ability to assume contorted political postures while delivering the most flowery - but empty - rhetoric must be the most highly sought after skill required to occupy a paid position within a government run institution. Such individuals make a living dandling their clients/customers/serfs/citizens.

It is with extreme irritation that I have to continually prod police, code enforcement, and animal control to do their jobs. Apparently their systems are so utterly deficient that they do not generate even the simplest follow up reminders. The personnel have only to pretend that all their loyal and law-abiding subjects are following the law; they can congratulate each other on what wonderful jobs they are doing; after all, look at all the "closed" cases there are on the computer.

- - - - - - - -
She's up in smoke - again

On September 1st, I had word that the Manteca police had given Lynda Allen TWO weeks to enclose and secure her pot farm. Here are a few of the plants - all the plants are still out in the open air - as of this morning, the 20th.

In almost THREE weeks, the pothead proprietress has not made a single preparation to enclose and secure them, neither has she "pulled" them. With her decades of practice scoffing at laws, I'm sure she is waiting for the plants to fully mature before harvesting and processing them for consumption, with not a shred of concern about the police, the city, the school district, or the law.

Given two weeks, she'll take at least two months - and Manteca will let her skate. Disrespect for authority? No wonder the citizenry (and none moreso than lawbreakers) disrepects the authority of impotent government.

Yet again, I notified the Manteca Police Department:

New Request # 463673
Monday, September 20, 2010
Request type: Drugs/Narcotics
Description: Ref: Case # 10-24475. The "two week" deadline expired last week, and no preparations to enclose the marijuana have been made, let alone completing the job. The plants are still growing outdoors next to Sierra High School.

- - - - - - -
She's gone to the dogs again... still

On September 1st, I had word from Animal Control that Lynda Allen had been "advised" to give up three of her six dogs on the property. As of this morning, the 20th, all six are still there. In almost three weeks, she has not made a single preparation to conform to that law.

Because no time limit was mentioned, Lynda will take unlimited time. Given three weeks, she'll take three months, thirteen years, another thirty decades - and Manteca will let her skate. Disrespect for authority? No wonder the citizenry (and none moreso than lawbreakers) disrepects toothless and ineffectual government.

Yet again, I notified the Animal Control Department:

New Request # 463677
Monday, September 20, 2010
Request type: Other (animals)
Description: The owners keep six dogs on the residential property. Code only allows for three dogs and/or cats. Ref: Courtesy Notice 6408, 01Sep2010.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* dandle (v) 1st sense: move a baby or young child up and down in one's arms or on one's knees, in affectionate play; pet; "the grandfather dandled the small child."; to treat with fondness, as if a child; to fondle. 2nd sense: to toy with; to play with; to put off or delay by trifles; to wheedle.

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The Cancer Metastasizes*

.

Great Scott! Wave after wave of flotsam and jetsam - vomit from the BDG's illict decades-old catering enterprise - are now spilling over into the street!

I'm guessing the triage** underway is to segregate the pure crap from the flea market merchandise, and those from the piles of shit stored under the Big Top, the latter likely to be dragged along by the BDG's to their future paradise home... far, far, far away. (The farther the better... but wherever that paradise is, it's about to suffer a mortal blow. See definitions for metastasize.*)

Like everything else the hash-slinging potheads do, they don't have the good sense to sneak out of town in the middle of the night; instead they have to trash the neighborhood first.

I wonder if they have a permit for their merchatile display going on the second day now? Flea market... yard sale... garage sale... lawn sale... take your pick of terms; they are all equivalent under the Manteca Municipal Code.

“Garage sale” means a sale conducted by an individual homeowner or occupant of a home, or apartment owners, or occupant of an apartment unit, for the purpose of selling, trading, bargaining, exchanging or otherwise disposing of unwanted or surplus household furnishings or goods, or other tangible property, usually conducted in a garage, on a patio, upon a driveway, or on or in any portion of premises in a residential zone and for which no inventory or permanent or detail records are kept on the transactions thus carried out. It may, at times, be conducted by a combination of residential dwellers at a single location and may take on the nature and character of a rummage sale or a fund raising event for civic or charitable purposes. All sales designated “lawn sale,” “attic sale,” “rummage sale,” “moving sale,” “flea market sale,” or other terms of similar or like intent and having the foregoing characteristics and purposesshall be deemed garage sales. (MMC 17.61.030 Definitions)

28. Garage or Yard Sales. A garage or yard sale may be conducted on any developed lot in an R district, subject to the following requirements:

a. No more than two such sales may be conducted on any one lot in any one calendar year.
b. Each sale period shall be for no more than three days, unless additional time is approved by the community development director.
c. All related signs shall conform to the requirements of Chapter 17.17 of this title. (MMC 17.07.020 Permitted and Conditionally Permited Uses)

Oh, I know. The BDG's will claim it is not a yard sale - yet - because there are no For Sale signs up - yet. But they are fooling no one, because the BDG's have never followed any rules before and the City of Manteca officials don't enforce any of their own rules, especially on these scofflaws.

As Karen Carpenter sung:

I know I ask perfection of
A quite imperfect world
And fool enough to think
That’s what I’ll find.

And I quote an excerpt from my own soon-to-be published legal writings below:

D. Nonconforming and Noncompliant Uses

The rationale advanced in the citations in this section applies to legal nonconforming uses and is couched in that language. It goes without saying that these principles apply - with imperative action to abate - against illegal or noncompliant uses.

In California, "[Zoning] legislation . . . looks to the future and the eventual liquidation of nonconforming uses." [Citation] [Sabek, Inc. v. County of Sonoma, 190 Cal. App. 3d 163 (Cal. App. 1st Dist. 1987)]

Why is that? The answer was outlined [by the court in Gage] in 1954:

"No case seems to have been decided in this state squarely involving the precise question presented in the case at bar. Until recently zoning ordinances have made no provision for any systematic and comprehensive elimination of the nonconforming use. The expectation seems to have been that existing nonconforming uses would be of little consequence and that they would eventually disappear. [Citation] The contrary appears to be the case. [Citation] It is said that the fundamental problem facing zoning is the inability to eliminate the nonconforming use. [Citation] (footnote 2) The general purpose of present-day zoning ordinances is to eventually end all nonconforming uses. [Citation].
...
“Footnotes, note 2. "It has always been assumed that non-conforming uses would gradually eliminate themselves from the district in which they exist if they were not permitted to expand. Such has not proven to be the case. They not merely continue to exist, but to send down deeper roots. They become clear monopolies and special privileges. Their existence is a continual threat to the conservation of property values in the districts where they exist. The time has come when cognizance should be taken of this situation and provision made, probably in the state law, whereby non-conforming uses may be gradually eliminated under some equitable method of procedure." [Citation] (emphasis added) [Los Angeles v. Gage, 127 Cal. App. 2d 442 (Cal. App. 1954)]

A perfect description of that metastasizing cancer known as TLC Catering, owned and illegally operated by Lynda S Allen and Theresa A Brassey, for twenty-three years on the always-zoned-as-residential property at 810 Fishback Street, Manteca, California - aided and abetted by the lazy, bungling, incompetent fools soaking up our tax dollars down at city hall.

I'm waiting for the multiple (Red, Yellow, and Green) lumpectomies and the proper radiation treatment of this cancer. Which button do you think I'd push?

(from the Natural News site)

.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* me·tas·ta·size (verb used without object. It's alive!) 1. Pathology (of malignant cells or disease-producing organisms) to spread to other parts of the body by way of the blood or lymphatic vessels or membranous surfaces. 2. to spread injuriously (Ex., Street gangs have metastasized in our city.) 3. to transform, esp. into a dangerous form (Ex., The KGB metastasized after the fall of the Soviet Union. Ex., Truth metastasized into Lynda Allen's lurid TLC fantasy.)

** triage (transitive verb) 1a: the sorting of and allocation of treatment to patients and especially battle and disaster victims according to a system of priorities designed to maximize the number of survivors b: the sorting of patients (as in an emergency room) according to the urgency of their need for care; 2: the assigning of priority order to projects on the basis of where funds and other resources can be best used, are most needed, or are most likely to achieve success. Ex., Nurses do triage in the emergency room. (Fr, sorting, sifting, from trier to sort, from Old French) Rhymes with triage: barrage, collage, corsage, dressage, frottage, garage, gavage, lavage, massage, ménage, mirage, montage, moulage, portage, potage, treillage.

(Great rhymes! I'll have to use some of them soon because a couple, in particular, apply to the BDG's.)
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If You Got It, Flaunt It! (aka: Show Us Your Junk!)

.

Things started happenin' early this morning. About 08:15 hrs, an intensive conversation took place out on the driveway next door and, next thing you know, one of the unearthed rodent condominia treasures of accumulated debris inoperative vehicles appeared on the BDGs' newly-mowed front lawn.

Ta-Da!

Redneck
Trailer Trash
Yard Decor

at its finest!

That's likely the last mowing that particular patch of lawn will get for a long, long time. I wonder if there was a time limit put on this display of chutzpah?* The only thing missing from this historical relic - besides a few essential parts and a little TLC (or ALL of TLC!) - is the name "Louise" stenciled on the passenger door and... uh, can't see the driver door.

This is exciting. Code enforcement case #460464 (and its earlier case #455382) may actually be moving forward. Last Monday, September 13, I sent the following in:

Request type: Abandoned Vehicle
Description: Re: Request #455382, the two vehicles in question were pushed in front of a container/trailer. They are visible from the sidewalk without elevating any cameras - or eyeballs.

But... it's hard to tell if this movement was prompted or assisted by C.E. because Manteca city officials have thus far demonstrated total unwillingness, incompetence, or impotence in dealing with the BDGs and enforcing any of the city's so-called ordinances.

The on-display rust bucket is missing a For Sale sign. (Get several, Red or Green, one for the house and some for the half-dozen dogs. Remember, though, none for the marijuana! Yellow would get cranky crankier again.) My guess is the Barefoot Dirty Girls plan to tow this wreck behind one of the decrepit MFPU's (see catering trucks) up Interstate 5 to Gresham, Oregon, or thereabouts, loaded down with as much sentimental effluent** as can be managed - like the John Deere log splitter.

(Log splitter?!)

Yup! Who knew the BDGs' 1/2-acre Manteca property once had enough trees to justify a log splitter? (Funny picture: Mellow Yellow toking her way out of town riding a log splitter.) More likely, the compulsive klepto's have been collecting more junk again. The stuff just appears out of thin air!

{"Psst! Hey, amigo. The off-menu TLC Minnie Mouse Muffin Muncher comes with a garnish of MJ... and we split your logs, too."}

But the dogs cannabis and the unsold canines really oughta be in roadworthy vehicles. Just sayin'...

Vaya Con Los Perros***

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* chutzpa: (Yiddish) unbelievable gall; insolence; audacity

** effluent (n) sewage that has been treated in a septic tank or a sewage treatment plant

*** Go with (the) dogs

.

Tribute to Tyrannosaurus rex Osborn

.

Tyrannosaurus rex Osborn, dug up from the rocks of Hell Creek Formation, Mccone County, Montana and now installed in the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History (except at night when he sneaks out):

(Oops, sorry, that's when he was on loan to Newt Gingrich's congressional office.)

Here's the Smithsonian link: http://collections.nmnh.si.edu/emuwebpalweb/pages/nmnh/pal/Display.php?irn=3451233&QueryPage=Query.php and a patron's shot on Flikr:

The Great Tyrannosaurus: A Fossiliferous Fable

The Great Tyrannosaurus. . .

In habitude was not

What one would call decorous—

He ate an awful lot.

. . .

This earth can never nourish

An appetite like his;

So, if you hope to flourish,

Don't gobble all there is!

(The rest of the poem, with a link to its
source and the picture below,

can be found on this blogger's site.)

Like most museum curators, and just for laughs, the brass at City Hall often dredge up fossilized relics from other governmental digs and install them in various office cubicles on permanent pedestals. And it is impossible to ever get rid of this detritus from the epochs - saurus through Homo sapiens neanderthalensis - unless the earth again swallows them for another epoch or two.


.

BDGs' Attorney Says They'll Mediate... For Real?!

.

Shocking breakthrough!

At this morning's case management conference in Stockton Superior Court, Red's and Yellow's attorney said the defendants agreed to a mediation session. We'll see if his word is any better now than it was last August 13th. (And, no, he still hasn't delivered on that month-old item.)

Of course, this extremely late and decidedly reluctant baby step does not stop my other court filings and preparations for the [highly likely] event that Yellow has to scratch her {xxxxx} - or make up some other lame, last minute excuse for noncooperation.

Do I hear echoes? I recall June 2009, after she admitted one week that the icemaker was noisy and she was going to move it, the next week Lynda sayin',

I'm not moving it. I tried working with you. . . (classic Lynda communication style, letting her sentences trail off as she walks away.)

Uh-huh. Sure you did...

...NOT!

.
- - - - - - - - -
Regarding the illustration, I'm not sure these cute little outfits are large enough to prevent interior latex paint spills from adding some zest to the Barefoot Dirty Girls' already eclectic mix-and-match wardrobes. On the other hand, football jersey shirts are ephemeral anyway.
.

BDG Cooperation? When Pigs Fly!

.

I'd be less surprised at seeing flocks of winged pigs dive-bombing City Hall than seeing any cooperation from my Neighbors From Hell regarding their voluntary compliance with any Manteca ordinance. Even police visits, misdemeanor charges, and a civil lawsuit seem not to faze them. Voluntary compliance? When pigs fly!

ABANDONED CARS AT 810 FISHBACK

On Wednesday, September 1, 2010, I sent online Request #455382, regarding two inoperative automobile wreckages exhumed from the rubble of some demolished illegal structures on the Barefoot Dirty Girls' property at 810 Fishback Street, Manteca, CA.

Request type: Abandoned Vehicle

Description: There are two abandoned vehicles in the back (northeast) corner of the lot. The cars were exposed after the illegal mobile home and attached shed were demolished. Pictures may be seen at http://way2noisy.blogspot.com/2010/09/nsfh-avec-ou-sans-moteur-with-or.html.

On Wednesday, September 8, 2010, Request #455382 was *resolved* with the only thing I have ever heard Manteca code enforcement officers say: "There is nothing we can do." The anonymous response on the city's online system (from either Scott Cunningham, Greg Baird, or Rex Osborn) consisted of:

"The vehicles are not visible from a legal vantage point. Photos taken over the fence on the property line using ladders or other means to elevate camera are not legal to open an enforcement case and can be considered an invasion of privacy [by the police]. Until there is cooperation with property owner or the vehicles are in public view no further action will be taken."

Cooperation from Lynda S Allen? {I'm still waiting for the big surprise - the miracle! - of Pink, Red, Yellow, Green and Purple pigs growing wings and flying away in formation...}

 Code enforcement's response tells me three things:

1. No code enforcement officer even bothered to take a pass/walk/drive down Fishback Street. I'm not the least surprised. If Scott, Greg, or Rex HAD walked by (on the sidewalk - no tippie-toes required!) on or after Thursday, September 2, 2010, (the very day I sent in the complaint!) they would have seen that the BDGs had their foreign language speaking [documented?] workers push the cars around to the front of the Trailmobile trailer (see map, the box to the left of the two red cars along the back fence) - and were then in public view;
2. No code enforcement officer bothered to knock on the offender's door and ask for investigative "cooperation." This singularly ineffective procedure forces me to assume their investigative technique is to wait for winged pigs angels to come down and nudge the confirmed pothead lawbreaker to voluntarily come forward and admit to keeping abandoned cars in her back yard. I'm not the least surprised. They have been to the house before and know exactly the caustic reception they will have from the prickly, sharp-tongued owner(s); and
3. It is still the city's policy to use innuendo and smear tactics against citizens who complain about illegal activity on neighboring properties. Enforcement personnel won't take verbals, can't see anything for themselves, and insinuate criminal behavior by anyone who provides photographic evidence they themselves cannot obtain. (I'm not the least surprised. This is the same way Rex Osborn smeared me so effectively at the city council meeting, March 3, 2009.)

TOO MANY DOGS AT 810 FISHBACK

The August 31st complaint,
The September 1st Animal Control response, and
.
{drum roll, please}
.
The September 11th observation -

All six dogs still on the property!

UNSECURED MARIJUANA FARM AT 810 FISHBACK

The August 27th letter to the MUSD school board and Superintendent, and
The September 1st response from MUSD and Manteca Police Department.

Yellow, Red, and Green were given "two weeks to totally enclose his [her] operation." What that means is, by Wednesday, September 15, the plants must be either pulled [destroyed] or

"in a secure, locked, and fully enclosed structure that includes solid walls, a ceiling, roof or top. No outdoor growing shall be permitted within the city."

.
{drum roll, please}
.
A September 13th observation (two days to deadline!) -

Healthy, budding plants still unmoved in their outdoor bed!

(and the only qualified structures on the property are the main house and the legal outbuilding.)

COMMERCIAL EQUIPMENT FROM ILLEGAL BUSINESS AT 810 FISHBACK

• Ceasing the illegal TLC Catering business operation on the 810 Fishback residential property on or about February 15, 2010, all the commercial equipment used in that illegal operation still encumbers the property.
• The multitude of For Sale signs are merely a window dressing, with no substantial efforts - let alone successful efforts - to dispose of the equipment from the residential property.
• All requests for admissions, demands for documents, and notices of inspection of the inventory of business assets have been ignored, refused, or objected to by the defendants.
• Retaliation in the form of 14/7 outdoor radio-playing has occurred for sixteen months since service of the noise nuisance and illegal land use civil lawsuit.
• All attempts to mediate or settle the lawsuit have been ignored or refused.

.
{drum roll, please}
.
Now-abandoned MFPU's, vending truck, trash truck, Trailmobile trailer, Bally walk-in freezer, Scotsman icemaker, Admiral freezer, Kenmore freezer, chest freezer, a shanty shed and outdoor radio still trash the property!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

City of Manteca departments, past and present, with an embarrassing record of ignorant, ineffective, impotent, or downright stupid dealings* with the ignorant and downright stupid owners of 810 Fishback Street, Manteca, CA 95337:

• Manteca City Council,
• Planning Commission,
• City Attorney,
• Police,
• Code Enforcement,
• Animal Control,
• Planning,
• Zoning,
• Building Safety,
• Community Development,
• Solid Waste, and
• Business/Finance.
• (Did I forget anyone?)

... and code enforcement is waiting for "cooperation with property owner"? {See any wings sprouting on those pigs yet, Greg, Scott and Rex?}

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
* {"Say, Pearlie, here's some terms of cooperation for ya - we'll keep that weasel next door off ya and you supply us with summa that "really good shit" growing in your back yard."}